L: Welcome to the unofficial homepage of the Old 97s. The two concoctors of this page are me, Libby, and my sister, Ellen Beaman. We are going to do this in running dialouge, so it'll be updated all the time. As we sit here on this sunny afternoon in Texas, we listen to the recent hit album, Too Far To Care, by the old 97s; the reason we started this page is because we are two teenage girls with the weirdest musical tastes of any kids we know, so we figure this is the best outlet for our passions, not to mention, there aren't that many pages out there on our favorite band in the whole world, so we decided that the web should be populated.
E: Did you even understand that? Man, that was the most complicated run-on sentence I have ever seen. Any how, I think it is best for us not to do the cheesy "yeah I'm down with the band. Thanks so much for everything, guys!" bit. I s-
L: Even though, um we ARE down with the band and Ken does us favors all the time and hangs out with us whenever he's in town...
E: Yeah, shut up and go take a lesson on punctuation. Like I was saying, once upon a time, I went to a No Doubt page, and the guy who created it was all thanking them for hanging out w/ him after the show, blah blah blah. It got annoying because he was obviously trying to show off. Plus, any guy who likes No Doubt is, no doubt, messed up. I'm really sorry about that one. It just slipped out. So that rules out that type of behavior pattern. The second is the "we're not worthy" type. I hate that. We don't have that attitude in the first place, but let's not start up. Agreed?
L: So anyway, back to the reason this page even exists...
E: We get to do what we like best. Talk about the Old 97s! YAY!!! I want to hear you say it.
L: YAY!!!!!!!
E: Very nice. So which would you have to say is your favorite CD?
L: Definitely Slobberbone's "Crow Pot Pie"
E: Wrong answer. I was talking about the Old 97s. The entire reason we're here. Remember?
L: Um, oh yeah. Then, I'd have to say "Wreck Your Life", although I really have a hard time with my concience when I say that because I love them all so much and all basically the same because they're all so different, so I can't really make a solid decision...
E: You do that on purpose, don't you?
L: (huh huh)
E: Very funny. Moving on, that was a wonderful answer. I couldn't have said it better myself. So what makes Wreck Your Life so different and likable (excluding the fact that it kicks mucho ---)?
L: "Wreck Your Life", why do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
1. Victoria
2. The Other Shoe
3. Doreen
4. You Belong to My Heart
5. Big Brown Eyes
6. Dressing Room Walls
7. W-I-F-E
8. Bel Air
9. My Sweet Blue-Eyed Darlin'
10.Old Familiar Steam
11.Over the Cliff
12.Goin', Goin', Gone
E: Not exactly what I was talking about, but it's still a good answer. I was thinking along the lines of,"I really love it when Jon Langford bellows 'ASSHOLE'". Know what I'm saying? Wait a sec. Oh, she's back.
L: How do you describe the Old 97s?
E: Cutie-pies.
L: Their music, dummy.
E: Block head. Their music is a little country, a little alternative, with a hint of punk and occasional bluegrass.
L: Cool. Now it's time for some trivia!!
E: Woo-hoo! Wait! Before we do all of that fun stuff, I want to say to all the viewers that Oregon Trail is the funnest computer game in the world. It's even funner when you take the Old 97s with you. I've found, though, that Rhett is always the first to die. (deep, gangsta laugh)
L: Which 97 is convinced that SPAM was made to put in a CD player?
E: I think that was supposed to be a joke.
L: No.
E: It was Murray.
L: But boys and girls, it's time for us to leave you. Tune in next time for another episode of...
Together:
(fade in Wayne's World theme)
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