Change

Sometimes while I sit alone
Alone in the silence
The words run through my head
Like the words on a digital display
And the silence rushes in
Highlighting everything as if it were neon
While my body sits idle
My mind races uncontrollably

The eyes in my head see only what's in front of me
Yet they've witnessed so much more
The knowledge I have I wish to wield
Like the sword of a warrior
Still I cannot control my thoughts
Often they slip through my fingers of reason
Leaving doubt to sit and set in
Rotting the soul

But as always there is that grain of sand
That tiny speck that shines so brightly
Against the darkness of thought
And those fingers reach for it
Grasping it long enough to feel the rapture it gives
Enamoured with this single grain of hope
I often dwell on its inspection
Only to see it slip away again
It disappears back into the darkness
Leaving me feeling lost, yet the hope remains

These feelings of love and hope are enough
Enough to drive you to the edge
"The edge of what?" you may ask
The edge of my consciousness
The beginning of thought
And as I stand on this edge
A tear comes to my eye

For I am looking back at the darkness behind me
The darkness which is all that I am
And as the memories purge into my soul and out again
I knowingly step off the edge
To fall toward the light of hope
Simply put....
This is the end of the beginning

© Jay (Kri8r) 1998