April 11, 1999

Dear Diary,

Marnie, my new therapist suggested that I keep a diary. Somehting to let out what I'm feeling. You know instead of talking to an actual person like normal people do. But then, I'm far from normal.

Things have been changing a lot in the past couple of months. I thought that they were going better. Well one thing has gone well at least. I met this great guy named Pacey Witter. He's everything I've dreamed about since I was a little girl. I have the romantic fantasy that I had only just visioned before. But one boyfriend can't cover up everything else.

I can't sleep, eat, or associate with others.

I think I'm losing it.

My whole family is so gone from me it's not even funny. One brother dead, one mom is nuts, and then becuase of my other brother finding his sexuality, my dad leaves. What did I do to drive these people away from me? Next thing I know, Pacey's going to be screaming at me becuase I've gone off and done something. I'm next in line the way I see it. I just hope Pacey won'r see me like that. I don't want to put him through the turmoil. Maybe if I weren't here anymore I wouldn't have to worry about him fretting about me. Whoah, dumb thought Andie. Get that one out of your head right now. I guess I'd better end this now diary, before another crazy idea pops up while I writing. Until next time.