*

Mulder glanced over at his partner. "You ok, Scully?" he asked, concerned over her distance that day. Scully's head jerked slightly as she broke her trance and looked away from the passenger's side window. "I'll be ok, Mulder. It's just....Today's Melissa's birthday." Scully sighed. "Do you want to talk about it? You shouldn't have even come in today, Scully, Skinner would have understood..." Mulder said, as he pulled into the lot of the 7 Eleven. "No, really, Mulder, I need something to take my mind off it anyway." Scully said, forcing a smile at Mulder. "Well, I'm here if you want to talk." Mulder said, nodding at Scully as he shut the engine off.

The two agents walked into the 7 Eleven, and Mulder began strolling down the aisles. He watched as Scully wandered aimlessly. "Did you find anything?" Mulder asked, a few minutes later. "Uh, I'm not really hungry, Mulder." Scully said. "C'mon, Scully, you have to eat something. It's a good 3 hours before we reach Lake Eikniwt." Mulder said. "These'll be fine." Scully said, grabbing a bag of ruffled BBQ chips. The two made their way towards the counter, then stood in line. "I'm going to wait in the car." Scully said, forcing another small smile of reassurance, and extending her hand for the car keys.

Just as Scully sat down in the car seat, she saw some movement in a bush to her left. She looked out the window at it, curiously, and saw two glowing red eyes within the bush. "Oh my God." Scully said, stepping out of the car. She walked over to the bush and seperated it in the middle. Below her, she saw a small, almost gremlin like creature. It had a face sort of like a cat, but a body more like a tail-less monkey. Scully turned towards the 7 Eleven anxiously, knowing that Mulder would appreciate this. She looked back at the small beast. "Scully?" she heard Mulder say behind her. "If that's a mutant in there, I might just pee my pants." Mulder joked. "Then I hope you brought an extra pair, Mulder." Scully said, as Mulder walked up and looked down at the fiend. Mulder's mouth opened slightly and a demented little smile spread across his lips. His fascinated eyes fixated on the strange being below him, as it suddenly rose up on it's hind legs and hissed. Suddenly, the creature took off. Scully watched with a sigh as her partner went tearing after the thing, into the wooded area across the next lot.

Mulder panted as he ran and manuvered through the darkened woods after the monkey-like creature. He was shocked when it suddenly stopped in it's tracks. The small beast sat dead still, and even allowed Mulder to touch it. Mulder wondered if it had died. He picked it up. It felt stiff. He listened to it's heartbeat. There was none. Mulder picked at something on the creature's small, pointed ear. Rubber. Rubber! It was a fake! Mulder ripped off the ear to reveal the electronic interior. Remote controlled. Mulder threw down the animotronic beast and cursed. Who had done this? Who was controlling this thing? Some kids? Or someone else? What if this was a trap? Oh, no. Scully was back there.

Mulder flew through the foresty area, back towards the car. But it was too late. Scully was gone. On the driver's side seat cushion was a small post-it note, with directions scribbled on it. Mulder got in, sat down, and started the engine.

Mulder arrived at a warehouse, knowing only that he had to get Scully back. Gun in hand, he krept into the building.

"Mulder." a familiar voice said from above him. Mulder looked up and saw a person who had brought him nothing but trouble since the day he met him, Alex Krycek, smoking a cigerette. Hatred filled Mulder's being, and the urge to rush up the stairs and strangle Krycek once and for all was almost overwhelming. But he knew he had to keep his cool if he was going to rescue Scully.

"Scully?" Mulder called as he walked up the stairs. He heard a muffled sound. He ran up the stairs. There was Scully, strapped to a chair, a gag in her mouth. "You bastard, I'm going to kill you." Mulder snarled at Krycek. Mulder noticed what Krycek was puffing on. A Morley. "I see your friend gave you a present." Mulder hissed. Krycek smiled slightly. "This whole thing was his idea, Mulder." Krycek said, just as Cancerman stepped out from the shadows, puffing his own Morely.

"You black lunged son of a bitch, if you hurt her..." Mulder seethed.

"There will be no violence, Mr. Mulder. I want to talk to you, Fox. And agent Scully. Walter should be arriving soon, as well as your friends the Lone Gunmen." Cancerman said, turning away from Mulder. Mulder frowned in angry confusion and looked at Krycek for some sort of explaination. Krycek took another drag from his Morley, then offered Mulder one. Mulder knocked it out of his hand. He looked at Scully, asking her with his eyes if she was alright. She nodded at him quickly. She didn't appear injured.

There was the noise of the door opening below, and Mulder looked down to see The Lone Gunmen being shoved inside, followed by A.D. Skinner. They were herded upstairs by some thugs and sat down.

"Untie agent Scully, Jeffery." Cancerman said. "Spender." Mulder said, contemptously. He turned to see Spender step from the shadows, walk over, and undo Scully's ropes. Scully pulled her gag off and glared at Spender. Spender shook his head, frowning.

"Now. There are some things that I want to tell you all. Jeff and Alex already know. I couldn't think of a better way to get you to listen then this. I'm sorry." Cancerman said, averting his eyes from Mulder's. "You son of a bitch, you're crazy, and so are you two if you think you're going to get anywhere but to hell following this guy, Spender and Krycek!" Mulder yelled. "Be quiet, Fox, you have no idea..." Cancerman said, but Mulder cut him off. "You're a madman, drunk on power, and you don't care that you're ruining innocent lives!" Mulder boomed. "A madman? And what about you, my boy? Aren't you a madman?" Cancerman took a breath and looked away again. "I...I suppose it runs in the family." he finally spat out.

"You're a liar." Mulder said, shaking his head and barely supressing his rage at what he had been dreading was true. "I'm not lying about this, Mulder. You are my son." Cancerman said. "I want nothing to do with you!" Mulder exclaimed, looking away with tears in his eyes.

"What the HELL is this all about, huh? Kidnapping us all for this! What do you really want?" Skinner snarled, his own rage obvious.

"Dad, I hope you know what you're doing with this reunion idea." Spender said, frowning with annoyance.

"Damn it, listen to me! All of you! And I'll tell you." Cancerman exploded. "Now, Mulder. I am your father. And you know I'm agent Spender's father. What you don't know, is that I am also Alex's father." Cancerman said. Krycek smiled at Mulder, who let out a loud groan. "He's totally your blood. Your mother gave birth to both of you." Cancerman said. "WHAT?" Mulder exclaimed. "He was born nine years after you were, when your mother and I had another encounter. I took him from the hospital and raised him for my own selfish purposes." Cancerman said. "This is BULLSHIT!" Mulder said, loudly. "It's true, Mulder." Krycek said, staring at him. "You're my big brother." Krycek said. "And mine." Spender said, frowning and shaking his head. "Fuck!" Mulder said. Krycek glared at Spender.

"Let me finish, boys." Cancerman said. "Now, it happens that my brother, Well Manicured Man, accidentally fathered a child of his own." Cancerman looked over at Scully. "Oh, no!" Scully cried. "Yes, agent Scully. Once the baby was born, the mother took off. WMM didn't want to raise you either, so he left you with a family." Cancerman said. Tears began to roll down Scully's cheeks as she looked at the floor and shook her head. "You are my neice, Dana." Cancerman said.

"We're cousins?" gasped Mulder. "And now for the last part of the story. WMM and I have an older, deceased brother, Foot-Less Man. He lost his feet in an accident when he was a child. He was a key figure in the government conspiracies untill his death in 1980, from old age. Well...he fathered some children as well. Byers, Langly, Frohike, Skinner. You're all brothers." Cancerman said. "What?" Skinner spat, standing up as his face contorted. "This is unbelievable." Byers said, in dismal shock. "I can't believe this shit." Frohike said. "I always knew...my parents were keeping something from me. They said I was paranoid." Langly said, staring at Cancerman.

There was a long, uncomfortable silence in the room.

Suddenly, Cancerman exploded with laughter.

"What's so funny, DAD??" Mulder snarled.

"April Fools!" Cancerman said through his laughter-induced coughing.

"What??" Scully asked, something snapping in her.

"I made it all up." Cancerman said, wheezing.

"You made it UP? You made me think you raised me with hypnosis, didn't you? Didn't you, you son of a bitch?" Krycek asked, throwing down his Morley. "You made me think I had a family."

Scully stood up and walked over to Mulder. She took the gun from his pocket.

"How dare you do this to us!" Byers said.

Skinner walked silently over to Cancerman and punched him in the stomache.

"You're one sick old dude." Langly said, shaking his head.

"I'll say!" said Frohike, angrily.

"Dad, why did you do this??" Spender asked.

Scully aimed the gun at Cancerman and fired. Mulder watched in disbelief as Skinner moved just in time to catch the bullet. "Sir! Oh God, no!" Scully cried, running over to Skinner's now lifeless body. "Hey! I wanted to kill him!" Krycek snapped, shooting Scully. Scully fell over. "NO! SCULLY!" Mulder screamed running over to Scully's now lifeless body. Mulder looked up at Krycek, who suddenly realized he didn't have much longer. Krycek took off running as Mulder followed him with the gun. "Dear God." Cancerman said, horrified at what had happened. Mulder fired a bullet at Krycek which unfortunitly missed, hitting Frohike instead. Frohike let out a small cry just before he died. The other Gunmen huddled around him. As he was running away from Mulder, Krycek tripped over Langly and fell to the floor. Mulder shot him dead. Unfortunitly, Krycek still had his gun, and as he was shot, he pulled the trigger, causing one of his bullets to soar through Byers, killing him. Langly stood up quickly, and watched as Mulder pointed his gun at Cancerman. "Mulder, now, come on." Spender said, reaching for Mulder's gun, just before Mulder blew him away. Mulder pointed his gun back at Cancerman. "No, boy, no!" Cancerman said, as Mulder squeezed the trigger. Cancerman darted out of the way, and pulled his own gun, firing at Mulder. He missed, instead killing Langly. Mulder and Cancerman fired their guns one last time, each killing the other.

The next day when the police arrived, they shook their heads at the bloodbath in the corpse-filled warehouse. "We're gonna need more body bags." Officer Smith said.

The end.