I was kept late after one of my basketball games to finish picking up the gym and lock up. My team had just won their first game of the season. This is my first year as a basketball coach and I am already the head coach at Clear Water High School.
I am only twenty seven years old. I am not married nor do I have a steady boyfriend. I am not rich personally, but my family is well off.
I do not think that I am beautiful, but my kids (my team) think I am. They whistle at me every time I dress up for games. I am not very tall, five five if I am lucky. I have wavy dark red hair which I often highlight to a deep golden blond. It drives me crazy because I can only do three things with it: all the way up, half way up, or all the way down. I wear the usual make up: eye liner, mascara, blush, and lip stick. I think I am fat, but I am constantly corrected by everyone. My skin is a creamy, smooth, pale color, but I tan very easily. My eyes are a very boring greenish brown. One of my girls said I looked like some model, but I forgot her name.
I was just finishing with putting the balls away when I heard a door shut across the gym. It startled me, but I wasn't scared. Too often one of my kids forgets something and has to come back for it. I turned around expecting to see Jennifer or Kate, but when I looked I saw no one. I only heard a creepy silence.
"Hello?" I asked trying to stay calm.
Nothing. No answer. Not even a clue of who it might be. The hair on the back of my neck prickled up as a shiver ran down my back, but I was not cold. Worse, I was scared.
"Is anybody there?" I asked. My voice was now shaking noticeably. My intuition told me to run like hell, but my stubbornness told me to stay and investigate.
There was no immediate answer, but rather a long pause. Then suddenly a ball came rolling out from behind the bleachers. I was a long hundred feet from it. I jumped as it hit my feet and bounced away.
I thought that it was one of my girls playing a joke.
"This isn't funny anymore. Come out now or you will be running extra on Monday! Hear me!?" I listened for a response.
None.
"Sarah? Beth? Mary Ann?" by now I was scared to death. My breath was quick and short. My throat was dry and it was difficult to swallow. My heart was going ninety to nothing and it was in my throat. I thought that at any moment it would flop out in a bloody mess on the floor.
Then I thought of a stupid idea. I picked up the ball and threw it back to where it came from. It bounced once before it went behind the bleachers and I never heard it bounce again. This was my cue to split, but as soon as I turned to run the lights went out. I was left standing helpless in the threatening darkness.
I stood there straining my eyes, but I could only see darkness. I closed my eyes, held my breath, and listened. That was when I heard it. The slow rhythmic breaths off to my left in the direction of the bleachers. It slowly came closer. It seemed to be circling me, stalking me.
With my eyes still closed I began to turn following the sound. Before I knew it, it was directly in front of me. I could feel its breath upon my nose. I opened my eyes to face what ever it was, but there was nothing. That was when I realized it had moved behind me, but before I could turn around it hit me in the back of the head. I went tumbling onto the hard wood floor. I laid there helpless as two strong hands flipped me over and on to my back. There were two clicks and then a lighter burned a small blue flame. My vision began to blur, and then it went black. Right before I blacked out someone covered my mouth and nose and whispered
"Sleep tight."
I awoke in a dark room with only a small black light in the upper left hand corner. The room was no bigger than a small closet, but it was made of pure steel and bolted on all the sides. The only door was in the ceiling where a small square hatch appeared.
I sat in the corner opposite the light in a small steel chair which was bolted to the floor. My arms were bound behind my back with what looked like telephone cord. My legs were done the same, but were tied to the legs of the chair. I was gagged with a handkerchief tied tightly around my neck. I had been stripped down to my bra and underwear. My clothes were no where to be seen. I felt deep in my heart that this was going to be the place where I was going die.
Minutes went by, then what seemed to be hours. It was very hot inside that tiny room and sweat was stinging my eyes. The only thing I could do was shake my head and that did very little. I tried to move my hands to see if I could loosen the cord, but I only made the cord dig deeper into my skin. That was when I felt the pain slowly increasing in the back of my head where I had been hit. No doubt, I had a concussion.
Just then the door above me popped open and a man came down into the room. He was a very tall man with a large build. He was also very handsome with his dark skin and square jaw. His eyes were like pools of ink. Deep and filled with an evil light that glowed brightly in the dark light. His thick black hair was cut very short. He was dressed totally in black with a tight black turtle neck, tight black jeans, and black cowboy boots with a silver tip. Just the sight of him made my skin crawl and my blood turn cold.
He spoke very softly.
"How are we doing Miss Mary Jane? Sleep well?"
God, he knows my name.
"Well now aren't we going to say hi? Oh I forgot, your gagged." He reached down to remove the gag. I jerked my head away. "Feisty, aren't we?" He reached out and slapped me across the face.
The pain in my head exploded. I winced in pain and held my head up so he could remove the gag.
"Now that is more like it. Be a good girl so I can take the gag off." He moved to take the gag off then stopped. "You do want me to take it off, don't you?"
I nodded weakly.
"Good." and he removed the gag. "There, feel any better? How is your head?"
"Fine," I choked. I kept my head down because I did not want to look at him.
He reached down and touched my chin. My skin quivered under is fingers. He brought his face close to mine. So close that our lips were nearly touching. His breath was warm and had the sour smell of cheap whiskey. He was obviously drunk, but very much in control. At least he made it look that way. He moved my head so my eyes would meet his. I gazed into his eyes and found myself peering into an unknown abyss. I quickly looked away. I felt I had just looked into the soul of the devil himself.
He stood up and put his hand on my shoulder.
I finally found the strength to speak.
"Why?" I choked.
He smiled
"The question should be why not?" and he laughed a sick little laugh that reminded my of a bully who had just taken some helpless little child's candy.
"No, why me?" I was confused, scared, and angry. I wanted an answer.
"Oh, it's nothing personal. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time. It could have been anybody." he snorted. " It was like ini mini myni mo!" And he burst out laughing.
Better me than one of my girls.
"Where are we?" I asked on the verge of tears.
His laughter stopped and he stared at me.
"Why, we are no where. In the middle of B.F.E. if you know what that means. NO WHERE!!" He moved close to my ear and whispered, "Don't worry honey. You're not going anywhere so it doesn't matter where we are." He took and deep breath and continued. "Only God knows where we are and only he can save you now."
He licked my cheek and he jumped up into the hole. For a moment I couldn't see him then his head popped back into view.
"Now don't go anywhere. I'll be back very soon!" and with this he disappeared and I was shut back into my coffin. Alone once again.
I bowed my head as a single tears rolled down my cheek. This was the end and I knew it. I was never going to see my family or my friends ever again. I won't be able to finish the season with my kids. God, those girls were my life. They were my reasons to live. I loved them more than life itself. I would die for them and I guess now I am.
I threw my head up.
"God!! Help me please!" I pleaded. "It's not my time. I have so much to live for. I can't leave my kids. I love them too much to desert them now. I love my life too much to end it now!" I screamed. Tears blurred my vision. My voice became a soft whisper. "Please," I sobbed. "Hear me, God. Hear my silence." My last words were choked by my sobs.
I closed my eyes as my head fell to my chest. I had given up. No one could hear me nor save me. It was time to face the facts - I was going to die down here. Time seemed to pass very slowly and I dozed off.
I suddenly awoke with a bright light in my eyes. It took me a moment to adjust my eyes to the light. Once I did I was breathless from what I saw.
I was no longer in the small room. Nor was I bound and half naked. I was in a very large room that resembled a church. It was brightly lit with candles everywhere. Stained glass windows were everywhere. Each depicted a seen from the bible. The largest one was in front of me. It was of Jesus Christ on the cross. Two angels hovered above him. Their wings were open and their arms were held out to take in all those in need. One was a beautiful woman and the other was a beautiful man. Quite pleasing to the eye.
I was dressed in a long white gown. My hair flowed down to my shoulders and my skin seemed to glow. I was kneeling on a white cushion facing the picture of the angels.
I stared at them amazed by what I saw. They seemed so real. Almost as if they were alive. Then before I knew it they were alive and they had come out of the window and were slowly floating down towards me.
Their eyes were an amazing light blue. They gleamed brightly as if the sun shined right through them. Their hair was the color of gold and was very long. Even the mans hair was long. Their skin seemed to glow with a deep inner source. They too were dressed in white gowns, but theirs were more elegant than mine.
They landed right in front of me. My God, they were absolutely breath taking. They held out their hands and I couldn't help but walk towards them.
"Come," they said together in the most angelic voices. "We must hurry."
They took my hands and almost immediately I was lifted off the ground.
"Where are we going?" I asked startled. I have an awful fear of heights.
"We must save you. It is not your time."
That was when I remembered all that had happened. The man. The room. The FEAR.
"Can't you just save me. You're angels aren't you? Isn't that your job?" I was a little irritated that they needed me to save me.
"Yes, we are angels, but we are not God. We cannot save you, but we can show you how to save yourself. We are hear because we heard the silence in your heart. A silence that needs to be heard by the world," they replied. Their voices were so smooth and calm. Almost hypnotic. They could make you tranquil.
"How can I save myself? I am bound by wire and locked in a steel coffin. Technically speaking of course. I don't even know where I am." I asked very confused.
Their response was none. We were now flying over fields which I did not recognize. The lights in the sky were a glowing blue green and yellow. They seemed to flicker like the light of a candle, but they burned bright as the sun. It seemed as though it was a dream, for I had never seen such beauty in all my life.
"Where are we?" I asked amazed.
"The past. We must fly through your life to get to where we are going." was all they replied.
We soon came upon a small shed sitting in the middle of one of the fields. It looked like a storm shelter.
"We are here." they said as we arrived at the door.
"Where?" I was still lost.
"The present." and with this they pointed toward the door motioning me to go in and then they disappeared.
I opened the door and I suddenly got the feeling of Deja Vu. Inside was dark. I found a candle which I lit with a match that just seemed to appear.
I was standing on a steel floor that had a square hatch in the middle of it. I knew where I was. I opened the hatch and peered inside. There I sat half naked, bound, and my head hung low.
I jumped down into the room and stood in front of me.
"Hey, Mary. Wake up!" I yelled and clapped my hands. "We have to get out of here!"
"She can't hear you nor see you." a voice said behind me.
I turned around startled. There in a dark corner sat my best friend, Angelica. The Angelica that had killed herself when we were eighteen by jumping in front of an on coming train.
I let out the breath I was holding. My eyes saw her, but my mind failed to believe.
"Angelica," I gasped. " I thought you were de..." she cut me off."I am." She moved into the dim light. "But your eyes do not deceive you. I am really here." she raised her eyes to meet mine. How sad they looked."But why are you here?" I asked still not believing it. "You're dead." I said frowning. I had never forgiven her for leaving me."I made a mistake and I am here to make up for it. It is not your time and I am here to make sure you realize that." She sat down against the wall directly in front of the unconsciouss me."You can never make up for what you did to me. You left me! You were all I had. I will never forgive you!" I yelled at her already in angry tears.Her voice remained at a whisper, but her voice was shaking with emotion.
"You must let go of your anger. I am gone. Why must your memory of me be so hateful? Remember all the fun we had and all the memories we made?" She was crying now. "You must forgive and go on. Don't forget me. Just forgive me.""I can't!" I screamed at her."You must!!" she yelled. "Because if you don't," her voice was back as a sad whisper now, "You will die. Don't you see? Your hate for me is going to get yourself killed. You must forgive me! I am so sorry I hurt you. Please? I love you." she stood up and walked slowly towards me. Her pleading eyes gazed into mine."How is my hate for you going to kill me? You have nothing to do with the trouble I am in right now", I asked in a flat voice."Because hate is a sin. In order for God to forgive you, you must forgive me. So please if not for yourself, then for me, your friends, and my God, for your kids. They need you more than anyone else." Her head fell to her chest and she covered her face with her hands and she whisper through her sobs. "Please? I am begging you."Poor Angelica. Beautiful Angelica, with her golden blond curls that bounced when she walked. Her beautiful face that lit up the world when she smiled. Her emerald green eyes that sparkled no matter what her mood was. Her naturally dark skin which made it look like she lived out in the sun. She was so sweet and was always there for you even if she had problems of her own. She had it all, money, boys, and she was so smart. She had a full academic scholarship to The University of Kansas. She planned on becoming a model then becoming an actual editor of a magazine. She had her whole life ahead of her. Why did she throw it all away as she threw herself in front of the train?
"Why did you do it? You must answer me that. I believe I deserve that much. You left me with no explanation," my voice was sad but accusing.She did not look up. She took a deep breath and said,
"To stop the horrible pain. I was dying, Mary. My life was wasting away. I tested HIV positive three years before I died. I hurt so bad emotionally as well as physically and I just couldn't take it anymore. No one knew and no one knows now. My secret died with me and with the man I once loved. It got the point to where I couldn't eat or sleep. When I got pneumonia I knew I was going to die soon so I saved everyone the pain of dealing with me and my secret and ended my life. I am sorry, but I thought I had no choice. Don't you understand? I was in so much pain and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted it over." she sniffed and cried softly.I was surprised. My God she was dying and she didn't tell me. My heart sank. Why didn't I see it? I would have been there for her. My best friend was dying and I couldn't save her. I only thought of how she had hurt me. What kind of friend am I? I blamed myself. I was crying out of sadness now.
"You could have told me. I would have been there for you. You know that.""Yes I do, but I loved you too much to hurt you. I didn't think I would hurt you more by ending my life. I am so sorry." she sobbed quietly her head still down."No, I am the sorry one." I put my hand beneath her chin. "Look at me Angelica."And she did, but very slowly. Her sad green eyes sparkled with her tears. She looked at me, her lower lip quivering.
"Please, I don't want to see you hurting. You are so beautiful and you have so much going for you. I care for you so much and I don't want to see you standing here next to me any time soon." She reached out with a shaking hand and wiped away a tear that began to roll down my cheek.I closed my eyes. Her touch was so comforting and soothing. I reached up with my hand and placed it over hers. I raised my head up and opened my eyes.
"Oh God." I whispered and I fell to my knees. Angelica moved forward, leaned down, and kissed me on my forehead. She too fell to her knees and she held me. "I love you so much and I miss you." I whispered. "I can't believe I ever hated you. I hope you can forgive me."She smiled as I sank into her.
"Thank you. Your silence has been heard." is all she said.I realized then that I only hated myself and blamed myself for Angelica's death. I only hope the Lord will forgive me now. The silence that lingered in my heart for so long is quiet no more. And with this final thought we disappeared.
The real me sat silently in the dark room. I slowly looked up.
"Angelica, I miss you. Lord please forgive me. I don't want to die, not now."Suddenly the door above me flew open and sunlight rushed in.
"Miss, are you all right? Everything is going to be fine. Help is here and we'll get you out of there!" yelled a strangers voice. The most comforting thing I have heard in a while.
***FOUR MONTHS LATER***
I sat in a court room. The jury had just convicted Tori Tate of kidnaping in the first degree. It turns out he has been convicted of rape, sexual assault, and kidnaping in the past. He has been charged with four different murders, but lack of evidence has kept him free.
The way I was found was pretty weird. I'd call it a miracle.
Tori had gone to a bar. He was so wasted that he started to brag about me. He said who I was, where I was, and what he was going to do to me. The bartender was actually an undercover cop trying to catch minors buying alcohol. That was his last night there and his shift was just about over when the raving criminal came stumbling in. From there they arrested him and rescued me from my hell hole.
My basketball team won state last week and everyone knows the truth about Angelica. For the first time since before Angelica died, I was totally at peace. This was because God heard my silence. Not what was not said, but rather my silent hate that had lingered in my heart for so long. Which is totally gone now. Angelica has become a part of me and is an influence in everything I do. I thank her for every step I make and every breath I take.
Does God hear the silence that dwells in your lost soul or broken heart?
"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Mathew 6: 14-15
The names used were symbolic for the story.
Mary - "bitter"
Angelica - "angel"
Email: bbmaryjane21@yahoo.com
