The Top Ten Archive

Top Ten relatively non-destructive revenge schemes


10. You know those things that fall in a torrent from every magazine you get? Solution; Send them in blank. No name is required and postage is guaranteed. Maybe after a few hundred thousand dollars is wasted somebody will wake up?
9. To someone who makes threatening telephone calls - next time they call you, get someone to pick up and answer with the name of the local police station. The pest will think they've got a wrong number, hang up and *never* call back.
8. Does your victim have a Macintosh computer? If they have System 7.5 then they probably have a program called "Shut Down" in the Apple menu items folder. Put that in the Startup items folder and the computer will shut down every time they try to start it up.
7. Put Bovril cubes in their shower head. Or (remix version) mix golden syrup into their shampoo.
6. When "trick or treaters" come round who are blantantly too old and just want an excuse to egg your walls : give them Mars bars that have been cut open with razor blades, scooped out, filled with Encona pepper sauce and re-sealed.
5. Cross wire their car headlights to their horn. Great way for them to make friends with the neighbours, especially if they leave home at 5 AM.
4. When someone falls asleep drunk at a party in a hall of residence, "move" their room - take *all* the furniture, etc. and set it all up in the same position at a different location, e.g. at the bottom of a stairwell. Then put them in bed and wait till lunchtime the next day :-)
3. Hide a loud alarm clock in someone's bag just before a lecture, set to go off halfway through. Make it a lecture for a compulsory module...
2. Open the mobile phone of someone who's giving you grief and change the button order from 1234567890 to 7894561230 like it would be on a calculator. Could also be done the other way.
1. (extremely difficult - requires mad skills, accomplices and lots of time) Get some car-knowledgeable friends to dismantle the victim's car and put it back together somewhere inaccessible, e.g. in their front room. Ha ha! What are they going to do - call the cops? They've still got their car...



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