Top Ten Euphemisms
10. "Hip-Hop, Soul, Swing, R&B, Garage, Ragga, Miami Bass" (Flyers for student parties in Manchester) : Let's break this down. Soul, swing and R&B are all basically the same in this context. These records will make up 95% of the playlist. There's no garage, that was just a straight up lie. No ragga either, though you may get "Oh No" by Red Rat if you're lucky. The only Miami Bass record is "Tootsie Roll," and they may try to scam it by playing it a few times and hoping no-one notices. As for hip-hop, all you're getting is "Ruff Ryder's Anthem" by DMX and "Put It In Your Mouth" by Akinyele. Again.
9. Decruitment : Firing people.
8. "He sacrifices the body (Basketball) : He's a fouling bastard.
7. Criminal Justice Act : Not a euphemism as such because it's mad criminal.
6. "Heart and soul of the team" : Can't play.
5. "Playmaker" : Can't shoot.
4. "Hard playoff foul" : Aggravated assault.
3. Defence : Attack. As in "Ministry of Defence"
2. Colonialism : Going into someone else's country, with weapons, and stealing it.
1. "Police would like to eliminate this man from their enquiries." ...by putting him in jail.