Top Ten Things that would happen if NBA suffered from common b-ball organisational problems
10. Shawn Bradley is placed on the Mavericks' injured list, diagnosed with "tiredness." He is sent to bed with a cup of milk and doctors say his status is day-to-day.
9. "Disruption was caused at this afternoon's Hornets game when a group of little kids shooting around at one end of the court refused to leave, even though the Hornets had clearly called 'Next'"
8. Stephon can't play on Thursday, he's got a mate's 21st birthday to go to.
7. The Detroit Pistons turn up to find practice cancelled - the Red Wings (who usually practice first) have an away game that day so they cancel the arena booking and allow an aerobics class to have the hall instead.
6. All kinds of Mr.T style jewellery and wristwear stays on after players claim that they can't be unfastened and are safe. "At home we play like this all the time," a Greek league veteran protests.
5. Travel problems pt.1: Kobe misses critical playoff game after catching the wrong bus and ending up in Washington, D.C instead of Portland, WA.
4. Travel problems pt.2: Pacers arrive at Bucks game two days early, only to find they're supposed to be playing in Portland that night because the schedule had been changed. "We couldn't get hold of your captain on his mobile," George Karl says.
3. The New York Knicks will dress only 8 players today because they haven't got enough kits to go round a whole squad.
2. Games are held up as arguments break out over whose ball gets used.
1. "In tonight's matchup between the Vancouver Grizzlies and the heavily favoured LA Lakers, a Vancouver player is heard to say 'Hang on, these teams aren't fair - you can't have Shaq and Glen on the same side! We should pick again.'"