Top Ten ways to look busy at work when you're not
10. Pull your tie off a bit and undo your top button. This will give you that Michael Douglas "Falling Down" look and no-one will want to fuck with you :-)
9. By the way, don't fall asleep. This ruins the illusion of industriousness.
8. Set your computer at home to ring you several times a day. Make sure no-one else picks up the phone though.
7. Arrange with a few mates to carry random documents to each other's desks and annotate them in an offical-looking manner.
6. Print blank sheets of paper. This gives you impressive wads to bring back from the print room, and it's not even wasteful since you can always put the paper back.
5. Email textfiles of interesting stuff to yourself from home, then read it onscreen.
4. Look thoughtful and write in your notebook - similar to the tactic used in school to stop the teacher picking on you for an answer.
3. Organise your email into folders - it'll look like you've got a lot of different work when really you're just sorting your jokes into categories.
2. Learn a new language.
1. Start your own business and run it on the sly from your desk.