Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

khA..kHa..KhA...!!!

Actual messages heard on telephone answering machines:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't send me enough money. If you are my friends, you
owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk
to it instead. Wait for the beep." "Hello. I am David's answering machine...
What are you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(From my Japanese friend in Toronto)
He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon.
If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of
these magnets."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your
reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think
about returning your call."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me
a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home
and it's safe to leave us a message."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very
sleepy now. You are gradually losing your will power and your ability to
resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly
compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just
eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. If you'd
like anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold
it up to the phone."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the
phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy.
Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right
... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing
our teeth we'll get back to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
we're not here. So leave a message.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.
We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone,
please hang up."

Message frumm Mee!! : If you, the viewer, liked this page..
please tell me becuz i only update it if ppl actually request =P