~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(From my Japanese friend in Toronto)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.
If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't send me enough money. If you are my friends, you
owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
to it instead. Wait for the beep." "Hello. I am David's answering machine...
What are you?"
He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon.
If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of
these magnets."
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your
reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think
about returning your call."
a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home
and it's safe to leave us a message."
sleepy now. You are gradually losing your will power and your ability to
resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly
compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.
eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. If you'd
like anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold
it up to the phone."
phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy.
Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right
... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing
our teeth we'll get back to you.
we're not here. So leave a message.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone,
please hang up."