THE MOTHER'S BOOK. 140 as a better teacher. A selfish use of riches lead avarice, pride, and contempt of manual exertion; a selfish use of knowledge leads to pedantry, affectation unwillingness to conform to others, and indolence in pursuit not particularly pleasing to ourselves. But fault is not in the riches, or the knowledge-the difficulty lies in the selfish use of these advantages. If both were held in trust, as a means of doing good, different would be the result ! For this reason, I should never wish children to learn anything because some their companions were learning it. I would always offer present or future usefulness as a motive. For instance, if a daughter were very desirous of learning music, I would ask her why she desired it. If she answered or if I had reason to think, it was because some one else was learning it, I would at once discountenance it telling her the motive was a very poor one; but if said she wished too learn, because she loved it very much I would readily enter into her wishes, and promise to ask her father's permission. If the request were granted, I would say,' You know we are not rich enough to have good music-masters for all of you; but your Father is willing to expend more upon you than he could otherwise afford, from the idea that you will learn carefully and thoroughly, and thus be able to teach your brothers and sisters. At some future time your music may perhaps be the means of supporting yourself doing good to others. You can likewise bring it immediate use; for you will very soon be able to amuse your father in return for this kind indulgence. I have known young ladies, on whom a good deal had been expended, who more than repaid their parents by their assistance in educating younger branches of the family; and is not such a preparation likely to make the duties of a mother more pleasant and familiar to them? In some cases the acquirements and industry of one branch of the family have served to educate and bring forward all the rest; is not such a power, well-used, extremely conducive to kindness and benevolence! It is certainly very desirable to fit children for the station they are likely to fill, as far as a parent can judge what that station will be. In this country, it is a difficult point to decide; for half our people are in a totally different situation from what might have been expected in their childhood. However, one maxim is as safe as it is true-l. e. A well informed mind is the happiest and the most useful all situations. Every new acquirement is something added to a solid capital. To imitate every passing fashion is a very different thing from gaining knowledge. To thrum a few tunes upon a piano, and paint a few gaudy flowers, does not deserve to be spoken of as a part of education ;-a fashionable scarf, or a bright ribbon, might as well be called so. I would never have music, painting, &c., learned at all, unless they could be learned perfectly, and practiced with real good taste; and here I would make the passing remark, that a well-cultivated, observing mind, is most likely to be tasteful in all the lighter and more ornamental branches. The sure way to succeed in anything is to cultivate the intellectual faculties, and keep the powers of attention wide awake. If the mental faculties are kept vigorous by constant use, they will excel in anything to which their strength is applied. I think it is peculiarly unwise to sacrifice comfort, benevolence, or the more solid branches of learning, to any of the elegant arts; when you can attain all these and a little more, I much better to spend the surplus in giving your child a new pleasure, and an additional resource against poverty than it is to expend it in superfluous articles dress or furniture. The same remarks that apply to music, drawing, &c., apply to a variety of things, that may be acquired at little or no expense-such as rug-work, braiding straw, working; muslin, doing rug-work, &c.-I would teach a child to learn every innocent thing, which is in her power to learn. If it is not wanted immediately, it can he laid by for future use. I have a strong partiality for those old-fashioned employment's, marking and rug-work. The formation of the figures, counting the threads, and arranging; the colors, require a great deal of care ; and the necessity of close attention is extremely salutary to young people. Important as a love of reading is, there are cases where it ought to be checked. It is mere selfishness and indolence to neglect active duties for the ~ of books; we have no right to do it. Children of a languid and lazy temperament are sometimes willing to devote all their time to reading, for the sake of avoiding bodily exertion ; such a tendency should be counteracted by endeavoring to interest them in active duties amusements. Particular pains should be taken to induce them to attend to the feelings of others. Whatever services and attentions they exact from others, they should be obliged in their turn to pay' Out of door exercise, frequent walks, and a lively attention to beauties of nature, are very beneficial to such dispositions:. On the contrary, those who have no love for quiet, mental pleasures, should be attracted by interest- ing books and entertaining conversation. A mother needs to be something of a philosopher.-In other, and better words, she needs a great deal of practical good sense, and habits of close observation. With regard to what is called a natural ,genius for any particular employment, I think it should be fostered, wherever it is decidedly shown; but great care should be taken to distinguish between a strong natural bias and the sudden whims and caprices, to which compan- ions, or accidental circumstances, have given birth. No doubt each individual has the gift to do some one particular thing better than others, if he could but discover what that gift is. We all do best what we strongly love to do. I believe the perfect and entire union of duty and inclination in our employments constitutes genius. Men seldom become very great in any pursuit they do not love with the whole heart and soul; and since this is the way to arrive at the greatest perfection, it is very desirable to find out the bias of character in early life. This is not to be done by asking questions; but by quietly observing what a child most delights in, and what he asks about most frequently and eagerly. With regard to lessons, reading, and work, the atten- tion of children should be kept awake by talking with them, asking questions on the subject, and showing; them the best and most convenient methods of doing whatever they are about; but great care should be taken not to help them too much. No more assistance than is absolute- ly necessary should be given.-leave them to their own ingenuity. Young people will always be helpless, if they are not obliged to think and do for themselves. With regard to the kind of books that are read, great precaution should be used. No doubt the destiny of individuals has very often been decided by volumes accidentally picked up and eagerly devoured at a period of life when every new impression is powerful and abid- ing. For this reason, parents, or some guardian friends, should carefully examine every volume they put into the hands of young people. In doing this, the disposi- tion and character of the child should be considered. If a bold, ambitious boy is dazzled by the trappings of war, and you do not wish to indulge his disposition to be a soldier, avoid placing; in his way fascinating biogra- phies of military heroes; for the same reason do not strengthen a restless, roving tendency by accounts of remarkable voyages and adventures. I do not mean to speak disparagingly of Voyages and Travels; I consider them the best and most attractive books in the world; I merely suggest a caution against strengthening any dangerous bias of character. A calm, steady temperament may be safely indulged in reading works of imagination,-nay, perhaps requires such excitement to rouse it sufficiently,-but an excita- ble, r·omantic disposition should be indulged sparingly in such reading. To forbid all works of fiction cannot do good. There is an age when all rnortals, of any sense or feeling, are naturally romantic and imaginative. This state of feeling: instead of being violently wrestled with, should be carefully guided and restrained, by reading only the purest and most eloquent works of fiction. The admirable and unfortunate Lady Russell, in a letter, written on the anniversary of her husband's exe- cution, says, This role may be wisely applied to that period of life when young people, from the excess of mental energy, and the riot of unwearied fancy, are most bewitched to read novels. Never countenance by mord or example that silly affected sensibility wbich leads people to faint or run away at the sight of danger or distress. If such a habit is formed, try to conquer it by reasoning, and by direct appeals to good feeling. Nothing can be more selfish than to run away from those who are suffering, merely because the sight is painful. True sensibiiity leads us to ove~corne our own feelillgs for the good of others. Great caution should be used with regard to the habits of talking in a family. Talk of things rather than of persons, lest your children early imbibe e love of gossipping. Particularly avoid the habit of speaking ill of othels. We acquire great rluickness of perception in those things to which we give attention in early life; and if w,e have been in the habit of dwelling on the defects of others, we shall not only be ill-natured in our feelings, but we shall actually have the faculty of per- ceiving Inemishes much more readily than virtues. This tendency always to look on the black side is a very unfortunate babit, and may olien be traced to the in8uences around us in childhood. Some people Ay to the opposite extreme. From the idea of being charitable, they gloss over everything, and make no distinction between vice and vir~ue. This is f~se chari'y. We should not speak well of what we do not believe to be good and true. We may avoid saying anything of persons, unless we can speak well of them; but when we are obliged to discuss a subject, we should never in the least degree palliate and excuse what we know to be wrong. It is a great mistake to think that education finished when young people leave school. Education is never finished. Half the character is formed after we cease to learn lessons from books; and at an and eager age it is formed with a rapidity and strength absolutely startling to think of. Do you ask what forms it! I answer the every-day conversation they hear; the habits they witness, and the people they are respect. Sentiments thrown out jest, or carelessness and perhaps forgotten by the speaker as soon as uttered, often sink deeply into the youthful mind, and have a powerful influence on future character. This is true in very early childhood; and it is peculiarly true at the period when youth is just ripening into manhood. Employ what teachers we may, the influences at home have the mightiest influences in education. School-masters may cultivate the intellect; but the things said and done at home are busy agents in forming affections; and the latter have infinitely more consequences than the former. A knowledge of domestic duties is beyond all price to a woman. Every one ought to know how and knit, and mend, and cook, and superintend the household. In every situation of life, high or low this sort of knowledge is a great advantage. There is no necessity that the gaining of such information should interfere with intellectual acquirement, or even with elegant accomplishments. A well regulated mind can find time to attend to all. When a girl is nine or ten years old, she should be accustomed to take some regular share in household duties, and to feel responsible for the manner in which it is done,-such as doing her own mending and making, washing the cups and putting; them in place, cleaning the silver, dusting the parlor, &c. This should not be done occasionally and neglected when- ever she finds it convenient; she should consider it her department. When they are older than twelve, girls should begin to take turns in superintending the house- hold, keeping an account of weekly expenses, cooking puddings, pies, cake, &c. To learn anything effectually- they should actually do these things themselves,- not stand by, and see others do them. It is a great mistake in mothers to make such slaves of themselves, rather than divide their cares with daughters. A variety of employment, and a feeling of trust and responsibility, add very much to the real happiness of young people. All who have observed human nature closely will agree that a vast deal depends upon how people deport them- selves the first year after their marriage. If any little dissentions arise during that period,-if fretfulness and repining; be indulged on one side, indifference and dis- like on the other will surely follow,-and when this once takes place, farewell to all hopes of perfect domes- tic love. People may indeed agree to live peaceably and respectably together, but the charm is broken- the best and dearest gift God gives to mortals is lost. Nothing; can ever supply the place of that spontaneous tenderness, that boundless sympathy of soul, which has been so thoughtlessly destroyed. Beware of the first quarrel, is the best advice that was ever given to married ried people. Now I would ask any reflecting mother, whether a girl brought up in ignorance of household duties, is not very likely to fret, when she is first obliged to attend to them! Will not her want of practice decidedly interfere with the domestic comfort of her family, and will it not likewise be a very serious trial to her own temper? I have known many instances where young married women have been perplexed, discouraged, and miserable, under a sense of domestic cares, which, being so entirely new to them, seemed absolutely insup- portable. The spirit of complaint to which this naturally gives rise is not very complirnentary to the husband; and it is not wonderful if be becomes dissatisfied with a wife, whom he cannot render happy. Young girls learn many mischievous lessons from their companions at school. Among a mass of young ladies collected from all sorts of families, there will of course be much vanity, frivolity, and deceit, and some indecency. The utmost watchfulness of a teacher can- not prevent some bad influences. For this reason, I should myself decidedly prefer instructing a daughter in my own house; but I am aware that in most families this course would be expensive and inconvenient. However, I would never trust a young girl at a boarding school without being sure that her room-mate was dis- creet, well-principled, and candid. I should rather have a daughter's mind a little less improved, than to have her heart exposed to corrupt influences for this reason, I should prefer a respectable school in the country to a fashionable one in the city. For the same reason, I should greatly dread a young lady's making long visits from home, unless I had perfect confidence in every member of the family she visited, and in every person to whom they would be likely to introduce her. There is no calculating the mischief that is done by the chance acquaintances picked up in this way. If there are sons in the families visited, the danger is still greater. I do not, of course, allude to any immorality of con- duct; I should hope girls even tolerably educated would never be guilty of anything like immodesty. But young ladies, ignorant of the world and its vices, often do imprudent things without knowing them to be imprudent. If they have strong and enthusiastic affections, even their innocent frankness will in all probability be misconstrued by those who are not them- selves pure and open-hearted. At all events, the frequent intercourse likely to exist between a visitor and the brothers of her friend is extremely apt to fill her head with a diseased anxiety for the admiration of the other sex, and with silly, romantic ideas about love- ideas which have no foundation in reason, nature, or common sense. Many unhappy matches have been the result of placing young people under the influence of such sentimental excitement, before they were old enough to know their own minds. Such unions are often dignified with the name of love-matches; but love has nothing to do with thc business-fancy, vanity, or passion is the agent; and vanity is by far the most busy of the three. To call such thoughtless connections- love-matches is a libel upon the deepest, holiest, and most thoughtful of all the passions. In this country, girls are often left to themselves at the very period when, above all others, they need a