1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Try to headbang.
3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously with a look of fear and lock your doors.
4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Sing without having the radio on.
13. Honk frequently without motivation.
14. Ask people for Grey Poupon.
15. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
16. Restart your car at every stoplight.
17. Keep at least five cats in the car.
16. Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for firetrucks.
