As I began this project and found myself reliving all of my life, I found myself wondering why I hadn't gone crazy. And the reason for that is a very strong community around me in my childhood with relatives and friends and neighbors. I want to introduce you to them in this section....
First and foremost was my grandmother, who lived 2 houses down from us. In fact, the house I basically grew up in was my grandmothers. My grandmother worked 12 hours a day in a restaurant, but always, always was there for me. She was, and always has been, my staunchest defender. She iis my rock, and my inspiration. The sole consistent example of reality in my childhood. If I am even a quarter of the woman my grandmother is, I will have achieved something.
I knew almost everyone on my block, and we were a community, a neighborhood...unlike what I see in the community now. We were all each other's children and we watched out for one another. Because of this, I was surrounded by examples of ordinary home life. Something I never saw at home.
Next door on the other side of me from my grandmother was my aunt and my uncle. This family was related to me by marriage...my grandmother was married to my aunts brother. Their daughter was my babysitter and my friend. I recently lost track of her, and am very saddened by that fact.
The neighbor between my grandmother and us was an older woman. She and my grandmother have been friends for along time. She kept an eye on my brother and me, but I don't remember her actually babysitting us. I know she took care of me as an infant, though.
Across the street was another older woman. You know, I don't know if there was ever a husband, but she was a stabilizing effect on the neighborhood. She always wore those dresses that looked like robes with buttons or snaps and her hair up in a net. She scared me when I was little, until I got to know her.
Right next to my grandmother were an older couple. They were the meanest, scariest people in the neighborhood. They hated children and animals, often poisoning any animals that wandered in their yard. They went so far as to kill the tree in their front yard in order to administer poison to some animal. We stayed away from these people.
Another family we tried to stay away from was the wild group at the end of the block. They had a large family, older children, very wild and out of control. Fast cars, loud parties, rivaling my mother's...very "hip" in dress. They pretty much stayed to themselves... except when causing loud problems all over the neighborhood.
Across the street from my grandmothers house was the largest family on the block. Their daughter Carol was my friend. She had two older sisters and two brothers. The youngest of the older sisters used to babysit us. Whenever things got too tense at our house, we were always welcome in theirs. I think that when you have six children in the house, a couple more aren't even noticed. They never made a fuss, we were simply part of the family. When my mother was angry because we were making too much noise on Christmas morning one year we simply packed our presents into a pillowcase and took them across the street to open them. Problem solved. The mother was like a nurse or something. Whenever my brother fell, she helped me tend to him. She was the one who quaranteened me when I had the measles. Stuff like that helped me to feel like we had people watching over us.
At the other end of the street was another nice family. The daughter Deba was my friend and her family often had me stay there. The parents were always very kind and loving. They even once talked of adopting us, but nothing ever came of it. There were two brothers, one older, one younger than my friend. The dad lives in the same house today surrounded by pictures of his family.
One other family that was significant on our block were the people who lived next to my friends. The daughter was a bit older than we were, but she was a kind and loving girl who always had nice things to say about people. They had the biggest yard in the neighborhood, totally fenced in and big dogs.
Sometime in my childhood I met Sheila. We say that we have known each other since I was nine months old, but that probably isn't true. Her mother and my step- mother's mother, knew one another and both had babysat us at one time or another in our early childhood, and there is not a time in my life that I cannot remember knowing Sheila and her mother and her brother. They lived a block north of me. We went to the same elementary school, Holmes Elementary, but not to the same Junior High or High School because by then I would have moved with my father. But I get ahead of myself.
The last two families that were part of my life as a child lived behind me across the alley and across the street behind the large family's alley. The ones who lived behind us across the alley had two sons, and the ones who lived across the street behind the alley had lots of children. I can't remember them all, they were all quite small.
This then, was my community. Friends and neighbors that all cared for one another. The kids all played together. Climbed trees together. Built a treehouse together. Got sick on crabapples together. Played flag football together and all those things that families and community do. They were the net that made the lack of a mother (figuratively speaking) have less of an impact on me than it might if I had lived in a place where all around me were indifferent or strangers. And I thank them for every wonderful memory I have of my childhood.
