Well, Im not even going to explain why or how this page came to be. If you'd like to "die" just send me mail . Be sure to include how, when, where you died, where you want your funeral and anything else you deem necessary.

---

Angelica Angelica was killed yesterday while skating on her front porch. Apparently she lost control and was hit by a passing train. There will be a seance held at Pearls house next Sunday at midnight to bring Angelica back to life.

Ken While bowling on May 6, 1996, Ken's fingers became stuck in the ball. At the release point, his fingers failed to leave the ball and Ken was dragged down the lane, where the pin setter crushed him like an ant under foot. His remaines were mixed with the oil on the lane where he will be picked up by bowlers to come.

C.J. C.J. was killed last halloween by being disected by invading martians and put back together all wrong. The funeral will be held at the movie theater so afterwards everyone can watch the new Batman movie.

D.J. Mike D.J. Mike was killed on Sunday night during a drive by shooting. The assailants were armed with water pistols. D.J. was pronounced dead at the scene. He was the apparent victim of drowning. His memorial service will be held at Websters Water Park this afternoon.

Charles Charles died after locking himself into a Uncle Sam's Grocery Store. The autopsy report showed the cause of death to be starvation. His funeral will be held at Brookshires.

Heidi Heidi Seek is presumed dead after an exhausting search that ended Wednesday morning. She and 3 of her friends were playing hide-n-seek, when she was discovered missing.

Jeremy Jeremy burned to death when his beadle was hit in last Fridays Volkswagon Demolition Derby. His car was scraped for his ashes. Officials sent his ashes to Germany where they were made into a hotdog as was stated in his will.

Beverly Beverly Hills, a prominent business woman, was killed early Tuesday when the cast of 90210 lost control of their convertible van, and crashed into her. The memorial service will be held at the Melrose Place Plaza in honor of Ms. Hills.

Jose Jose Cuervo a.k.a. The Burrito Gangsta was killed late Sunday night. He apparently over dosed on Red Hot Chilli Peppers. The memorial service will be held at Taco Bell, Tuesday at 1 p.m.

Chris Chris, after being on death row for 7 years for murdering his sister, was killed yesterday by what investigators call an unknown force. Some say it was the spirit of his dead sister Bethany come back to revenge her death.

Dena T. Dena T was murdered late last friday the 13th. Cops have found the murderer. He was Stacy J. the masked slayer. Stacy is being charged with some other unsolved murders. Dena's funeral will be held in Chadler, Oklahoma on Sunday.

Melissa R. Melissa R. died while attempting an elite cheerleading stunt. Her body will be sent to Amsterdam and Jerry Garcia will rise from the "dead" and sing "Box of Rain" and "Cosmic Charlie" while they stuff Melissa's body in a mailbox and send her to her ex-boyfriend's girlfriends house.

Bob Bob was killed after his mother forced him to eat all of his brocoli. This tragedy happened on Tuesday the 12th. There will be no funeral because, like Obi wan Kenobi, when he died, his body disappeared.

Maeve Maeve was killed on Sunday the 11. While camping she kindled her fire and found the log to be full of gun powder. Since the explosion caused her body to melt there will be no funeral. Also she will be back on Tuesday by which time she hopefully will find a more suitable host body.

Linda Linda Nelson was killed 2 days ago when she went horseback riding with her best friend.While Linda was on her horse her best friend jumped in front of her horse.The horse was so startled that it threw linda off of it and then ran into Linda's best friend.Linda died instantly.There will be a big funeral tommorrow for her.Oh,Linda's best friend died to but no one really cares.

Johnny Johnny B. was killed yesterday at the construction site where he worked. Apparently he was hit on the head when a brick fell from the roof. Dazed Johnny stumbled in front of a cement truck and was laid to rest in the foundation of the Accent Paper Factory.

Reggie Reggie died on Thursday, September 11 at 11:30 PM. He was abducted by an alien race called the Romulans, who were conducting an anal probe. The probe acciedently blew up... and lets just say things got ugly. There will be no funeral because whatever parts of him were left after the explosion are floating around in outerspace.

Blake and Cindy Blake and Cindy went up to Lover's Leap last night to watch the stars. They were distracted by a bright light that came down and zapped them up. The next day their bodies were found lying peacefully in a field of flowers where their parents decided to bury them.

Norman Norman died at 11:59:59p.m. on December 11, 1 second away from his 15th birthday. The time bomb embeded inside his brain by aliens who abducted him when he was 12, finally exploded. His remains were cremated and floated down the Singapore River.

Lovely Rita, a.k.a. Lissa Friday, January 13, 1965, on her birthday, Lovely Rita was abducted by aliens. Sources say the two aliens resembled Paul McCartney and John Lennon. They hovered over her and sang, "I am the Walrus". Rita's body was never found.

Jose Luis, a.k.a Chachi Chachi was killed last thursday afternoon while deep sea diving with his parents. He wondered away and was eaten by a Killer Whale. The funeral will be tomorrow at Sea World's Shamu Tank. Everyone is invited to attend. Refreshments will be provided ( free whale for everyone).

Amanda Klutz Ms. Klutz has passed away. She was surfing the big waves at Mavricks on April 20, 1998 when she ran into a cow. Amanda was knocked out upon impact and drowned. The cow was not injured at the time, but hamburgers will be served after the burial.

Becca Becca was found dead last Tuesday. Apparently, when she tried to break up with her lover of 3 weeks he decided that if he couldnt have her then no one could. Authorities have proved that she was killed on the third floor of the White House and hid in Hillary's closet. There will be no funeral because there was an extensive coverup and Becca is thought to be living with her drug lord in Kansas right now.

Find out when your personal day of death is.

Remember: Death is hereditary.