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"Roses are red,
violets are blue.
You'd have to be dead,
for me to fuck you.
(bitch)" - Dayv
"At school I just draw naked pictures
of my current teacher. When the teacher
is female it doesn't really do the trick
but when he is male it works just fine."
- Jason Hooper
"Bitch, I killfiled you months ago!" - Dayv!
"Oh my god, you're right. I'm changing my ways right now. Somebody get me a
tie-dyed t-shirt and some pot." - Dayv! "I love you, bitch."
"Gosh, I hope the nice officer didn't think I was
serious about being LONG PENIS GIRL KILLER!!!
I know policemen often don't "get" sarcasm
from painful personal experience..." - Dayv!
"Luuk here-a yuoo stoopeed Svedeesh besterd. I'm tured ooff yuoor
Scundeenefiun veys und yuoor cunstunt pusteeng ooff useless gerbege-a
ell oofer usenet. Iff yuoo cun't et leest sey it in Ingleesh, vhy buzeer
seyeeng it et ell, beetch? Bork Bork Bork!" - Dayv!
"I got a tattoo of a female leg going down my torso and a
female leg going down my arm. When I put my arm in the air, it looks
like a lady spread eagle with my arm pit acting as a hairy bush.
No really, I got some "tribal" designs on the back of my calf.
Kind of hard to describe, but it doesn't look like that generic
barb-wire shit. It's big and black and I like it a lot."
- Jason Prime
"My mirror is all scratched up from the razor blade. Oh wait, I
didn't just type that did I?" - Dayv!
"Yeah, I remember when my prince albert got torn out in a bar fight.
That was the best night of my life. Now my dick has a wide head like
a flatworm. Your mom says it feels great." - Dayv!
"You think that's sig file worthy? Please." - Dayv!
In alt.bitch, How Wonderful® [sgtphouATvisitusDOTnet] gave us this:
"This is a truy story.
Today, i took a huge heaping shit. It was the most incredible, uniqe
shit i have ever seen!
This is because i ate some kick ass chili earlier.
When i shit, it ALL came plowing out in one one second ploff.
It was funny, it made this absoloutly horribly {plopppffff} sound in the
bowl. See, i pumped it out so fast, it didn't even go in the water. It
hit the dry part of the inside of the bowl.
I wish my dig camera worked, i woulda posted a pic.
anyway, it was one nasty reddish brown clump, not nearly a log shape. It
obviously had a bit of blood in it."
B A C K