Things to do on your next shopping trip...
Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they don't realize it.
Run up to an employee (male) while squeezing your legs together and yell at him, "I need tampons."
Try on bras over top of your clothes.
Tell an employee in an official tone, "We've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes as high as possible.
Challenge other people to fight with tubes of giftwrap.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Set up a tent and tell others you'll only let them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
"Test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with GI Joes vs. the X-Men.
While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
Switch the men and women signs on the doors of the restrooms.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
