What's your sign? (A little tid bit by Adam Sandler)

Aquarius (Jan 23-Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be
			progressive. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you 
			are so stupid.  Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.

Pisces (Feb 23-Mar 22) You are a pioneer type and think most people are
			dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of
			advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact 
			with. You are a prick.

Aries (Mar 23-April 22) You have a wild imagination and often think you are
			being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on 
			your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power.  You
			lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

Taurus (April 23-May 22) You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged
			determination and work like hell. Most people think you are 
			stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.

Gemini (May 23-June 22) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like
			you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much
			for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are 
			notorious for thriving on incest.

Cancer (June 23-July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other
			people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always 
			putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare 
			and won't be worth a shit.  Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

Leo (July 23-Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you
			are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot 
			tolerate criticism.  Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people 
			are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-
			picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You 
			are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. 
			Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time
			dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. 
			Chances for employment and monetary gain are nill. Most Libra 
			women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in
			business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle 
			of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the 
			perfect son-of-a-bitch.  Most Scorpios are murdered.

Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 22) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a
			reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. 
			The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece
			of shit.

Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 22) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks.
			You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn 
			of any importance.  You should kill yourself.