This is something that my brother sent me a long time ago...I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Why softball is better than sex...
You can play softball as much or as little as you want, YOU get to decide.
After an unusually long and difficult softball game, you can still ride a bike home.
In softball, the other team pays attention throughout, even if they are done scoring.
In softball, you don't feel guilty about winning the ugly ones.
The other team NEVER has to forfeit a game because they are on their period!
If you get all scratched up in a game, you can still brag about it to your wife.
If you have to go a few months in softball without scoring, your balls don't hurt!
In softball, you can play the same team everyday for a year, and it is never the same twice.
You dont mind if your parents watch you play softball.
You can play three, maybe four games of softball a day!
In a good weekend, you can play six or seven different teams, and it only costs you twenty bucks... AND you get a prize at the end!
Playing the wrong softball team, wont get you shot!
You can be ABSOLUTELY certain that nine months after the softball game, the other team's lawyers won't call, asking for half of your pre-tax income!
The other team can smell like road kill and you will never even know it!
If you don't score in a softball game, the other team doesn't ask if you have had that problem often!
No matter how drunk the other team is, they NEVER throw up in your bed!
I promise myself...
- To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
- To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person I meet.
- To make all of my friends feel that there is something special in them.
- To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and expect only the best.
- To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
- To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievemtns of the future.
- To wear a cheerful countenance at all times, & give every living creature I meet a smile.
- To give so much time to the improvement of myself that I have no time to criticize others.
- To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, to strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
- My attitude IS my life... my attitude is ME!
