Chapter 17: Relationship Updates



Three days later, everything was kind of back to normal for everyone. Zac was still a little aprehensive about Taylor knowing how...involved we were. I told him that Taylor was probably a little worried about us, too since we were the one that were dangerously close to doing something we shouldn't have. I noticed that lately Taylor and Joey hadn't been showing very much affection in public. Taylor usually had his arm around Joey, and sometimes they gave each other small pecks on the cheek, but other than that they showed few signs that they were a couple.

Zac and I were walking in the park near his house, discussing our current situtation with a little relief to know that Taylor hadn't said anything yet, and a little worry that he would.

"Zac, I know you're going to hate this idea, but..." I trailed off, afraid to even speak the words I was thinking.

"What do you want to do?" Zac asked a little fearfully.

"Well,...I think we should talk to him," I said timidly.

"Who? Taylor?!" Zac asked, his eyes wide.

"Yes. Now, don't go and get a sibling-phobia on me; we really need to talk to him," I said, stopping him and standing in front of him. I put my hands on both his arms, holding them down. "If we don't then he may get the wrong idea about our relationship."

Zac wriggled free and threw his hands up in the air, exasperated with my idea. "Oh yeah! He'll think we're having SEX!" he exclaimed rather sarcastically. He then softened his tone and looked me straight in the eyes. "Kat, do you think it's easy to talk to my brothers about my personal life? We talk, but they usually do most of the talking about that kind of stuff. I just listen. They believe I'm supposed to remain that innocent little brother they've always known. I already tried to give Taylor a heart attack by sharing our little excursion behind the bathrooms. Taylor made this sick reference to a soldier and something about him standing at...oh, nevermind. Anyway, it's just so embarrassing to admit that I'm not wacky Zac that hasn't a thought of girls on my mind."

"I know, Zac. I would imagine how hard it is to tell them about us... but still.... think about this, Zac. If Taylor thinks we're having...having.... are too involved, he might think it's his duty to make your parents aware of the fact. Then things could really get complicated," I sighed.

"Well, you have a point. I still don't particularly LIKE the idea, but I guess we should talk to him. When?" he squinted his eyes when the bright sun shone in his eyes as it came from behind its protective cloud.

"How about now?" I suggested gesturing to Taylor and Joey as they walked talking and laughing down the sidewalk.

"But-but Joey's with him!" Zac protested.

"Good. Two birds with one stone. Taylor tells Joey everything, and I've avoided telling her about what Taylor saw. Every time she brings up the subject, I avoid it, and now is a good time to tell them both," I said decidedly.

"Hi guys," Joey smiled as they approached.

"Um, we need to talk about-" Zac cleared his throat, "the-the other d-day. In the l-laundry room. When K-Kat and I were, um..."

"I get it. What did you want to say?" Taylor sat down on the bench we were standing near.

Joey looked rather uncomfortable standing there. "I think I should leave," she said quietly.

"No, Joey, you should hear this, too," I stopped her and motioned her to sit. She took a seat beside Taylor and took his hand.

"Go on," Taylor prompted.

"Well, what you saw was-was the farthest....the farthest Kat and I have ever g-gone," Zac stuttered. "We t-talked the other day and agreed that w-we need to slow it down. We haven't...we haven't...had....had....had......" "Sex?" Taylor suggested. Zac nodded ferociously.

"Yeah. Zac and I want you two to know that we're abstaining since we think neither of us are quite ready yet to go all the way," I finished for Zac. He was red in the face and sweating bullets. I almost laughed at his extreme embarrassment, but then knew that if I did it would all bite me back one day.

"That's good," Joey agreed after I finished. "Well, what should we do now?"

"I think it's your turn to tell us what's going on. I mean, are you together or are you seeing other people? Why don't you guys show that you're a couple?" I asked curiously.

"As soon as we figure it all out, we'll let you know," Taylor smiled slyly and stood up. Joey grinned and followed Taylor as he walked down the sidewalk. Yet another vague answer from my friends. Nothing has changed.



I was completely relieved after Kat and Zac updated me on their relationship. For a while I had become worried that Zac was going to find himself going too far before he had time to stop it. As for them asking about us, the answer I gave was truthfull. I wasn't sure where I stood with Joey. We kissed and cuddled in private, but when it came to being in front of anyone, she seemed to shy away from me. I decided that it was about time to find out for myself exactly what our relationship was about. We walked through the park and to the pond. Joey pulled out the piece of bread she had brought to feed the ducks and walked to the bridge leading across the placid pond. We stood in the middle of the bridge and threw out small pieces of bread to the awaiting ducks. "Joey, where IS our relationship?" I asked quietly.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Taylor. I'm really not sure. I mean, I know I really like you, but I don't think I'm ready to use the 'L-word' in reference to you, yet. I know that I like to spend time with you, and I can talk to you easier than anyone else-even Kat," Joey threw out another small crumb to the ducks and watched as they fought over it. She then turned to face me and looked into my eyes. She had done this before, but never so intensely. She got closer, as if searching my eyes for some sort of revelation. I began looking back her in the same way, studying each color change in her multi-colored eyes. The strange color almost reminded me of reptile skin. It was mixed so differently than other eyes. Gold flecks dotted the greenish-blue color, making her eyes seem to glisten in the sunlight. She then kissed me tenderly on the lips. I felt a rush like never before, and I had kissed a few people prior to this moment. I stood there, locked into her gaze. It was like I was almost searching her mind, soul and body. Then I realized I was searching one of those. Lets just say you can feel it.

"Taylor!" she pulled away with a warning tone in her voice.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was doing that. I was just caught up in the..." I stopped talking as she stared harshly at me. "I said I was sorry. I meant it." I moved toward her, to give her just a peck, and she pulled away. "Is everything okay Jo?" I asked, now a little concerned.

"Fine, I'm just really unsure about....us..." she trailed off with a disappointed face.

"Don't worry, everything will work out in time, whether it be good or bad. All I know how to do is follow my heart, and I hope you'll follow yours." That was the greatest croc of bull shit I ever made up. I thought about what I had said for a second, and stood, just staring at her glowering face. Hahaha... .All I know how to do is follow my heart.... But, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Then I realized that I hadn't been talking a bunch of shit, I had really taken words from my heart, without even realizing it.

"What is that look on you face?" Jo asked, slightly amused, and a little bemused.

"Eh, I was just thinking." I smiled. She, surprisingly, smiled back. It was alot warmer than most of her smiles and now I was readily confused. Oh well.

That night, in my journal, I came up with a nickname for her, but only in my journal.

Dear Journal,
Today Jo and I were hangin out in the park, by where we feed the ducks and after we had been there a little while, we started to kiss. Well, these were deeper than I was use to, and my hands got a little antsy, and well, ended up in her more off limited "lower area." She got all ticked off at me and I said some words that I didn't mean to say, all I was trying to do, was get her to forgive me, and maybe kiss me again, but after I thought about them for a little while, I realized I had spoken from my heart, and that my little "Untouchable" will be untouchable until she sees fit. Now, that doesn't bother me, but it makes me feel like the bad guy. I mean, come on, I'm 15 for goodness sake, I need a little excitment in my life. Ike lost it at 15, can't I? Oh well, Ike secret revealed. Hehehe. Anyway, mom's calling me down or dinner now. Guess I'll write some more later.



I woke up early. The bright light shone in my face.

"Tay, you asshole, you opened the blinds. You woke me up." I threw a little pillow at him.

"Sorry Zac." He smiled. He was at the desktop, writing something down. "Thats okay." I immediately fell back to sleep.


I woke up, who knows how many hours later.

"Zac, wake up, wake up!" a tunneled voice said. I opened my eyes and the foggy image came into focus.

"KAT?" I pulled the covers up, startled. I only sleep in my boxers.

"Zac, it's not like I haven't seen this much of you." she narrowed her eyes sacrastically. "Come on, get up."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." With that smile, she could have taken me to my death bed, or my sleeping bed. I smiled at the thought of myself in bed with her. Wow, there's something new, thinking about me in bed with a girl. Hmm...maybe I should tell Tay. Maybe the third time is a charm....hmm...anyway. Before I knew it, I was in a pair of jeans, my raggedy old blue Airwalks and a warn-out green shirt. I noticed she wasn't looking so spiced up herself. She was wearing a cute little purple shirt, that looked pretty faded, some old blue jeans, and the Nike's she had had since she was 13. She had her hair in a sloppy ponytail, with some pieces of hair falling into her face. She looked really sexy and I wanted her. She was just driving me nuts. After I tell Tay about all this, he's probably gonna think I've liked a million girls, and have been seeing another million. Sheesh! Soon, we were out the door.

"I need to stop thinking. Everytime I think, I phase out and we end up somewhere. Like after you woke me up, I realized I was dressed. Now, all of the sudden I realize I'm out the door. Does my mom know I left?" I asked, letting her lead me by the hand.

"Yeah, you yelled it three times before she even heard you. And you dressed yourself, I even left the room. I knocked and you said come in, so I did. Then we ventured down the stairs and you yelled to your mom." she said, a little bewildered I had no clue what she was talking about.

"Oh."

"Anyway, just follow me."

We had been walking for a while and she motioned for me to cut through the field that was here. It was a little more than half way to her house. I recognized it from passing it so much in the car with Ike. It was the only really big field with a treefilled area in the midst of all the tall grass. We were moving toward the trees and I began to form ideas about what we were doing and where we were going.

Chapter 18: Love Letters



I opened the mailbox expecting to see the usual mail. It looked like any normal mail, but I flipped through the envelopes anyway. Bills, bills, bills, letter from grandma to mom, bills, bills, Jo....wait, I got a letter. I was always excited about getting mail. It just made me feel so, so, so......so wanted.

"I've got mail." I laughed at my impression of our AOL voice. I looked the letter over and there was no return address, and my name and address were printed on the front of the envelope. "Hmm, that's funny." I shrugged it off. I looked on the back of the envelope and noticed a tiny, red heart, done in marker, where the point of the flap of the evelope stuck to the back of the envelope. The heart wasn't colored in, it was just the outline. "That is really strange." I carried it in my left hand, the rest of the letters in my right. When I got to the kitchen, after re-entering the house, I set the other envelopes down and ran the one with my printed name on it, to my room. I carefully slid the letter opener under the flap, and opened the envelope, taking out a white sheet of paper with black ink on it. I unfolded the trifolded letter and began to read. My heart gave in and a silent tear slid down my face as I read the paralizing letter. It was a poem, from Taylor. I don't know how he knew, but, as weird as it sounds, I think it meant more that he sent it through the mail. Normally I would have liked it better if he would have presented it to me, face to face, but not today. He knew, somehow he just knew. A few more tears came as I finished the beautiful poem of confusing teenage love. It was sweet and sorrowful, harsh and gentle, new and old...it was all the opposites in the world, but it made sense down to the very last word. And now, I felt myself come out of my shell a little more. 'A little more for you Taylor. I thought, kissing the letter. Then, I sat there, thinking about what I could do in return.



"Zac, I promise that you won't get hurt." I motioned for him to follow me. We had reached the tree-filled area and there were a lot of rocks and streams to look out for now. I had just swung across a pretty deep ditch, using a vine rope. And for some reason, Zac was scared. "Please Zac, I really can promise, if you come now, you won't get hurt."

"Promise?" he asked with a shakey voice.

"Promise." I smiled. He still couldn't believe that this far back, there were all kinds of ditches and things that you normally wouldn't find south of the road we had been on.

"Okay, here I come." he glided right across and landed next to me. "Wow, that was fun."

"See, I told you."

"You were right." he kissed me lightly on the lips. I loved the feel of his warm, soft, tender, sweet lips against mine. "What was I thinking, you are always right." he rolled his eyes playfully. I softly punched him in the arm. "Hey, I don't like this deal; I kiss you, you punch me." I couldn't help to laugh. He joined in. I slowed down to a giggle and then our eyes locked.

"Oh yeah, we have a destination." I remebered, almost getting lost in his eyes.

"Oh, yeah, we do." he said, less than enthusiastically.

"Let's go." I pulled him a little further and then, there was a clearing. I walked through the opening and I saw the familiar spot. The spot I had found while exploring this area a little while ago. I had been meaning to show Zac, it's just, well, we got a little wrapped up in ourselves, to say the least. A small, almost whisper escaped Zac's lips. Those lucsious lips, the ones I always seem to have the desire to kiss. That factor can get us in trouble though, and it has. Can I say, laundry room? Zac was sitting there, still baffled at the sight. It was beautiful and magnificent to some of the things I had seen in this "Town O' Tulsa," but it just wasn't that great.

"It reminds me of the place Tay, Ike and I played when we were out of the US."

"Really? Cool." I wanted this to be our secret place. The place where we could go and know we were alone, the place where we could do things we weren't suppose to and not get caught, the place where we would fall in love, real love. I didn't think Zac was capable of knowing real love, and I sure as hell knew he wasn't ready for it, but when he was old enough, if we stayed together long enough, if we could make it too the turning point... I suddenly got the urge to kiss Zac. I walked to him and wrapped my arms around him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his hands on my butt. I then released him and kissed him on the lips. When he kissed me back, I kissed him again and again. And by that time, we were involved in a good make-out session.



"I hope she got the letter. I hope Ike dropped it off. I offered to do his laundry for a week, so he better do it." I paced the room. I was startled when the phone rang. I raced over to it and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hi Taylor, it's Jo. I wanted to tell you I got your letter today. It was so beautiful; it meant a lot to me. I really loved how you incorperated how long you've been waiting to get your hands on me, but you take your time for my sake. That is really great of you."

"You interpreted my poem?" I asked. I had written it as I had thought it, and my thoughts were usually a jumbled mess. I heard Jo sniffle from the other end. "Are you crying?" I asked quietly.

"Yes, I interpreted it. And no, I'm not crying," she sniffed again. "I...uh.. have a cold." Joey said.

"Uh...like I said, I'm following my heart, well, actually, my mind told me this, but hey, heart, mind...they both keep you alive..hehe," I attempted to lighten up the moment. I heard Joey chuckle slightly.

"Yeah," she paused. "Hey, do you want to go somewhere tonight?"

"Joey, I really wish I could, but I'm babysitting Avie, Zoe and Mackie tonight," I apologized. "Jessie has a thing for Girl Scouts, Ike's going on a date and Zac has voice lessons. His voice is changing!"

"Are you glad it's his turn now?"

"Oh yeah. I was tired of being asked about my voice. Now he's going to be asked about his. Hey, do you think you could come and help babysit tonight?"

"Well, I'll have to ask. Can you hold on a second?" she asked quickly. I said yes and heard her as she put the phone down. I quickly thought about what we could do. Mom and Dad were going out after the Girl Scout thing since Jessie was spending the night with her friend. Zac was going to spend the night at his friend's house as well, and Isaac's curfew wasn't until one a.m. That would give us until about midnight for my parents to get home. I thought of some things we could do in the time the kids went to bed until my parents came home, and found my mind drifting off in some naughty places.

"Taylor? Hello? You still alive on the other end?" I heard Joey call loudly.

"Oh! Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking," I replied. "What'd the parental units say?"

"It's fine as long as I'm home by 12:30. When should I come over?" she asked eagerly.

"Now is fine."

"See you in ten minutes."

Chapters 19-20
home

EMAILS: