Chapter 27: Cheaters Never Prosper



Nothing was right anymore. The band was on the verge of breaking up, Joey and I were on the verge of breaking up, the relationship I had with my brothers was on the verge of breaking up. Mom had p.m.s., dad was crabby from all the meetings he's had and the people he's dealt with, it was hot and all the kids were cranky. Zac and Kat were the only ones without serious problems. I will never forgive Isaac and Joey though.

"I will never forgive them." I muttered angrily. I can't believe my girlfriend was cheating on me with my brother. No wonder he listens to her. All she does is make-out with him. That would make me happy. It did for a while. I had spent the rest of that day at the park, angry at myself for not knowing, angry at Isaac for betraying me, angry at Joey for cheating on me, angry at Zac and Kat because....well, because they were together and seemingly problem free. Every time I passed Isaac, I gave him an icy stare and passed by, not saying a word. He returned the stare, but I didn’t understand why. I figured he would cower at my feet for being such a bad brother, but he didn’t seem to have any shame. In fact, he seemed pretty mad at me for some unknown reason. He acted like I had done something wrong.

Joey had called me several times; I always hung up. She had written me three letters; I tore them all up and never read them. She had even came to the house once. I turned my back on her and shut the door in her face. I noticed she had a forlorn look. She wasn’t crying though, like her usual self, but she looked on the verge of tears. I was glad. She deserved it.

One day I was sitting on my bed, reading a magazine when he came in and slammed the door.

“Isaac, leave me the hell alone,” I muttered.

“Not until you listen to me and you listen to me good,” Isaac warned, getting in my face.

“What? What are you going to say? That you and Joey belong together. That if I had never gotten into the picture, you would have been the perfect couple? What? Isaac, she was mine, and she betrayed me in the worst way possible,” I raised my voice, but the next words came bitterly. “She betrayed me with my own brother,” I hissed. “Taylor, what you saw that day was a lot different than you thought it was. Joey came to comfort me. She was talking to me, saying that she knew we were under stress. I was so mad at you. I didn’t know why, but I had to get back at you. The only thing I could think at the moment was that Joey was right here in front of me, and kissing her would be the best way to get back at you. It was a lousy idea. After you ran off, Joey came to me and slapped me for kissing her. I explained my reason, and she slapped me again. She was angry at me for using her, but she said she knew that I was out of my mind at the moment. Then, she started crying-”

“Crying?” I interrupted.

“Yes, crying. She was angry at herself for letting you run away. Joey was the best thing that ever walked into your life, Taylor, but you can’t even see that,” Isaac paused.

“But what about all those times she went and talked to you?” I inquired, remember how much they were alone.

“You know what we did?”

“Made out?” I asked, bitter.

“We talked. She talked me through my troubling life. She told me that I was a great guy. She told me I’d have plenty of girls in my love life soon,” he paused and licked his lips. He looked away for a second then looked at me. “She told me not to resent you because she didn’t want to see the guy she loved to have his only big brother desert him. Taylor, didn’t you see that she loved you? When I kissed her, she was pulling away when you walked in. I was trying to keep her close, but she wanted to stop. Taylor, she’s been trying to explain this to you since it happen, but you’re too close-minded to care. I can’t believe that you are so ignorant that you’ll just let a girl like Joey slip from your life. If I were you, I’d get down on my hands and knees and go begging to that girl to take you back.”

“She really told you not to resent me?” I asked, looking away from Isaac’s piercing eyes.

“Yes. She wanted the best for you. She knew you needed someone you could look up to and buddy around with. She didn’t want you to lose me. Yesterday when we talked she begged me to tell you it was her fault. She begged me to make up with you so you wouldn’t lose your girlfriend and your big brother at the same time,” Isaac sighed, sitting down beside me. “Her exact words were, ‘I don’t care if he hates me forever as long as he has you.’ And now I’m telling you, I don’t care if you hate ME forever, as long as you don’t let her go. You belong together.”

“Isaac, I had no idea what happened,” I sighed. I wasn’t sure I was ready to forgive him, but I only had two weeks left to make sure that he was telling the truth.



We were in the tree house, kissing innocently. Slowly, Zac laid me down on the hard wooden floor and continued to kiss me, hovering overhead. He then lowered himself slowly on top of me, being careful to not go to fast. I let my hands wander over his chest through his tee-shirt and felt how warm he was. Our breathing quickened to an amazing rate and I felt like I had run a mile or so in a few seconds. I let my hands pull his shirt up and over his head, exposing his upper body. His chubby stomach was so cute, I couldn’t keep my hands off of it. I soon felt him unbuttoning my own shirt as he kissed me aggressively. We kept kissing and I forgot about my hands and his hands. I kept thinking about him and how his kisses entranced me and my mind. When I let my sense of touch come back, I realized I was devoid of all but my underwear. My shirt, shorts, shoes, socks and bra were strewn about the treehouse. Zac himself was quite bare too, with only his boxers on, and he looked about ready to take them off. His hands ran over me as we kissed. I couldn’t believe the gumption this kid had. Suddenly, like my guardian angel, Joey’s face popped into my head. I suddenly saw her on a night months ago when I had told her off the “Bathroom Incident.” I saw her look at me disapprovingly and sort of defensively for Zac. Then I heard the whole thing like she had just said it:
“Kat, don’t you remember last night and how upset you were about how fast everything went when you were twelve? Don’t you remember wishing you could go back and do it all again--or rather, NOT do it all again? Zac is probably going to feel the same way when you break up, and yes you WILL break up sooner or later,” she said.

“Jo, stop it! I have the right to chose for myself how far I want to go! You have no right to think you know how much I want to do!” I got up and yelled at her.

She stood up calmly, and put her face in mine. “I know, and you have no right to think you know how much Zac wants to do.”

Suddenly I realized that I couldn’t do what I was about to do. I couldn’t do that to Zac when he was only 12. I couldn’t let him do that. I looked down to see his boxers off and him trying to take my panties off.

“Zac!” I shouted, louder than I had expected. He moved slowly up to my lips and kissed me softly and calmly.

“I haven’t done anything yet, relax,” he smiled.

“No, no, no. We can’t do this. NO,” I said, sitting up. I pushed him away, but he came closer, hugging my body to his.

“Why not?” he whispered in a sexy voice.

“Because. We can’t. Not now. It’s not time yet. We can’t,” I repeated. “I’m not ready,” I lied. In fact, I was more ready than I had ever been, but I couldn’t take his innocence. I had to let him be a kid. He was twelve. Whether he knew it or not, he wasn’t ready for the emotions that came along with making love.

“Okay, if you’re not ready, we’ll wait,” he hugged me to him. “I’m very eager, but I’ll wait.”

Chapter 28: Crossing The Bridge Of Love



I thought I was ready at first, but after seeing what I was about to do as I put my clothes back on, I realized that I wasn’t ready. I was glad Kat had stopped me, because if she hadn’t, I would have lost something that I never would have gotten back. I knew I loved Kat, but I didn’t want to express it in the most wonderful expression. Not yet. After we were both dressed, I slid over to Kat and put an arm around her.

“Kat?” I asked timidly.

“Yeah?” she looked at me with loving eyes.

“Can we wait until...well, until I’m older?” I asked quietly.

“Zac, we can do whatever you want to do. We don’t have to do it at all if you don’t want to. We could wait until marrige. I just want to be with you. It doesn’t have to be that way. We don’t have to be having sex to have a great relationship. Believe me. Our relationship is great without it already. I’m glad I stopped though, because I can see now that you would have been very sorry if you had lost...IT....today. I’ve...well, I’ve already lost it. I lied when I said I came inches from doing it. I did it. And it wasn’t all fireworks and wonderous feelings. In fact, after I did it, I considered killing myself. I was so angry. I not only lost my virginity, I lost my childhood as well. It disappeared. I guess that’s why I try to act like a child now. I want it back. I guess I’m just now figuring out that I don’t want that to be what happens to you.”



I was in the park, standing the bridge and looking at my picture. It was the picture Taylor had given me when he finally asked me out. Right now, “love” wasn’t a word that existed in my vocabulary. I wasn’t sure why everything happened the way it did. I was so sure I was in love with Taylor. I was so sure that everything would go so well. I wanted it to go well. But, alas, my life will never be perfect, for something always ruins the way my life goes. Whether it be a jealous brother or a sick man. I wished to Heaven that everything would go back the way it was before. I was quite sure it wouldn’t, though, and that wrenched every internal organ I had. I felt like someone had pulled the love out of my heart with their bare hand and told me that love wasn’t mine to have or share. I sighed slowly as I folded the paper and put it on the bridge under a rock. I didn’t want to be reminded of how much Taylor meant to me. I was going to leave the paper there for someone to find. It might brighten their day to see that at one time, there was a young couple in what seemed like love.

“Why?” I heard the voice behind me, and immediately knew who it was. “Why did you kiss him?”

“Do you hate Isaac?” I said quietly.

“No, I don’t hate him. I’m just angry with him. He and I talked. I asked you a question. Why?” he asked again.

I thought about the conversation Isaac and I had shared not too long ago.

”I don’t care if he hates me forever as long as he has you. Without your friendship there’s nothing left for him,” I sighed.

“Yes there is. There’s you. I’m not going to tell him it was your fault. I’m not letting you take the rap for my stupid mistake,” Isaac put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m going to talk to him today, and I’m telling him what I told you.”

“I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. It just happened. If it counts, I was trying to stop it when you came in. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I know it’s hard to forgive when your girlfriend screws around on you, but that was the first time we had ever kissed. I never wanted the kiss to happen, either. And I know that it doesn’t matter who started it or whose fault it was. It’s a problem we now have looming over us and it’s not going away with time,” I sighed, looking down at the pond below. “You know, the sad thing was I thought I was in love. I thought I had the perfect thing, but just like everything else, it got ripped away from me when I didn’t stop something I should have stopped - that I COULD have stopped. I didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late to turn back and because of that, I’ve lost something I cared so deeply for.” I paused and waited for a response. Silence. I guessed he was staring icily at my back. “You know what? I really came out here hoping you’d come. Hoping I could explain what happened. And now that you have, and I’ve said it all out loud, I realize that I have the sorriest excuse alive. I didn’t know what was happening. HA! I knew what was happening, and I could have very well stopped him before he kissed me, but I’m just to stupid. I’m too stupid to realize that I had the best guy in the world at my fingertips. I had him within reach, and just when I thought I would be able to grab him and pull him into my arms, I forgot to watch where I was walking and tripped over a rock. Now, he’s back out of my reach, and I’m lying on the ground saying it was the rock’s fault for being there. Well, you know what? I’m tired of making excuses. I’m tired of making excuses that I wasn’t at fault. I was. I’m really not deserving of you, so if you don’t mind, which I’m sure you don’t, I’ll be going now to let you prepare for your trip. I don’t want you to hear any more of my bullshit or strange thoughts on love. Love just isnt’ something I’m very good at.”

I finally turned around to see Taylor and his appearance surprised me. A tear rolled down a beaten path of water from his eyes. I reached up to my own and felt dryness. No tears. I realized my heart was way too blocked to allow something like this to cause the tears to fall.

“Joey, I’m so sorry. Isaac told me. He told me everything. I didn’t believe him, but hearing it from you, well, it just makes me feel like the dirtiest son of bitch on the planet. I feel like I treated so wrongly. It wasn’t your fault. Things happen, and I overreacted,” Taylor softened his tone and got closer to me, bring his watery closer to mine. “I don’t want to lose you. I love you,” he whispered. Then is when I felt the tears begin to fall. They came, slowly at first, but the relief of knowing that he still loved me unchained my heart and allowed all emotions loose. The tears that wouldn’t fall for the past week were coming all at once.

“Thank you. You promised that when I didn’t have the tears to cry you’d give them to me. Thank you,” I cried into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, so sorry, so sorry...” I repeated. “I love you,” I sighed. Suddenly, cold drops began to fall upon my head. I looked up to see the rain begin to fall. It was like the clouds were helping us to cry. Taylor hugged me close and we stood there holding each other, and letting the rain wash away all the hurt and all the resentment as we loved each other with our hearts.

Chapters 29-30
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