Chapter 37: The Proud, the Brave, the Dancers
I was so proud of Kat. Her and I were getting a ride from the Hanson's to the dance tonight. It reminded me of the day we all went to the water park for the Hanson Family Reunion. Hahaha....what a day that was, what a day. It had been fun and exciting, and I'm sure this one would be twice the fun. Kat and I had gone to the costume store and found outfits for cowgirls. Mine was red, black and white, with studs all up the arms and on the jacket and hers was the same accept it was blue, white and beige. It came with matching hats and they sold boots there too (its not like Kat and I just had boots lying around). So, I did my hair, making it as straight as possible, I brushed my teeth, I got dressed and ready and then, the doorbell rang. They were here.
"BYE MOM!" I yelled as I opened the door to see Taylor standing there. I leaned in and kissed him. "Hi Tay."
"Bye honey!" Mom yelled, coming down the stairs. I heard many tramples after her and I knew it was the children, so I ran out the door with Tay.
"Hey baby." He said. We jumped into the van and then we went on our way to pick up Kat. When we got there, it looked as if no one was home. Hmm....I wonder where she is. Zac got out and went up to the door. He knocked, rang the bell and shouted, but no one answered. He turned back, looking at the van and shrugged. When he got back in the van, he looked a little forlorn.
"I guess she's not home.......but she knew tonight was the dance, didn't she Joey."
I nodded my head.
"Well, I don't know where she could be, something must have happened."
Then all of the sudden, Kat's mom's car pulled up in front of us and Kat jumped out.
After seeing this, Zac flung open the door with great joy and jumped out. They ran to each other and hugged for like, an hour. Mr. Hanson kept beeping the horn, it was so funny. They both got into the van, we pulled out, and then we all asked where Kat was.
"My little Zacky is sick, we had to take him to the vet." She said sadly.
"I'm sorry Kat, I hope he's okay."
"The doc said she'd have to examine him and keep him overnight. So, I'll just pray for the best." She smiled weakly.
"I hope nothing's really wrong with him." I said.
"Well, she said there's probably a hairball backing up his systems. So, she'll have to check him out and see."
"Oh."
I knew Zacky wasn't going to make it. I saw the perplexed look on the vet's face when she was feeling Zacky's abdomen and back legs. He couldn't move his back legs. I swallowed hard. I knew something was wrong, but she wouldn't tell us what it was. She just said she felt a mass in his abdomen, probably a hairball causing blockage, but it might be something more serious. She'd just have to check it out over the period of a couple days. So we left my little Zacky there, I could tell he wanted to come home with me. But knowing, in my heart, that Zacky was going to die, almost killed me. It wouldn't be today and it wouldn't be tomorrow, but it would be soon. Too soon. He was still just a kitten. And, I was so attached to him now. I felt a tear drop off my face and I pulled out of the dreamlike phase I was just in. Zac kissed my cheek. I hugged him, for a long time.
We finally arrived at the church. We all jumped out, and I put Zacky in the back of my mind for the time being. I wanted to fully enjoy this night, and soak up every last dance I had with Zac. There was no time for the emotion I knew as sadness. So, we joined hands and walked in. When we got in, I looked at Zac, in his tight Levi ropers, and it was just as i had pictured. Then he was wearing this awful shirt, it was so funny looking that I started laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"You....you...." I tried to tell him, but it only made me laugh harder, so finally I just blurted it, "...you look like a dork." And I continued laughing.
"Thanks," he said smugly, "but you should look in the mirror yourself."
"What?" I knew we were both playing around and so did he. "What did you say?"
"I said, I think you look like a bigger dork than me."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, really." He smiled at me and I playfully punched him in the stomach. "Oh, God, I'm dying! You've killed me now." He fell to the ground, being "dead."
"ZACHARY WALKER HANSON, GET OFF THAT FLOOR NOW!" Diana stared at him.
"Sorry mom." He jumped off the floor and dusted off. I helped him.
"Wanna dance?" He asked.
"No." I smirked.
"Okay."
"Would you like to dance?"
"Sure."
"Okay." I grabbed his hand, "I just felt like asking you." We both laughed and began to dance.
A slow song came on and I gently pulled Joey out onto the dance floor. She didn't regress, so I pulled her close to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I put mine around her waist. I leaned my head against hers and closed my eyes in the almost hypnotical swaying movement of the dance. I knew her eyes were closed too. The moment was soothing and sweet. I opened my eyes and watched as Kat and Zac danced a few feet over. They looked so happy and relieved. It made me feel nice, knowing I helped arrange that. Then I realized Joey was whispering my name.
"Yeah?"
"I love you Jordan Taylor Hanson."
"I love you too Josephina Meredith Baldwin." I whispered back.
We continued dancing, even though the slow music had stopped.
Kat and I were lost in each other's arms through out the whole dance. I mean, even when we were fast dancing and line dancing, we found some way to keep holding hands, or keep touching arm to arm or something. We always had some sort of physical contact. And when the "D.J." announced the last dance, we danced like there was no tomorrow. Well, there wouldn't be for us. The next time I would be allowed to see her, I would be almost 13 years old. That is a long time from now. I think like three months. So, we made this last one, the best one. We danced, kissing almost the whole time. I didn't care who saw. I wasn't going to see Kat in a long time, and I hadn't had her kisses in a long time, and I wasn't waiting any longer. I guess mom and dad weren't watching, or didn't mind, cause we weren't disturbed the whole dance. When it ended, Kat cried on to my shoulder. We said we'd miss each other, and we'd write, and that we don't know how we'd live being away from each other for so long. You know, the usual stuff. But then, she said something new.
"If you can't resist the girls you meet, then call me, and break it off. Cause even though I love you dearly, I'd rather have a guy who has the decency to break up with his girlfriend than one who would cheat on her. And Zac, I will understand if you do. I will always love you, I've known I've loved you for the last four years, even when I was the little girl, giving the to the youngest of the group, the one with the least amount of fans. You had no clue who I was, but despite that, I knew, from that day on, that I loved you and I always would."
I was at a loss for words, she had loved me that long? That's a long time for a kid that was eleven at the time. Especially since she liked an eight year old. I had no idea what to say, so I replied to her.
"I will break it off if I have to. But I don't think any of the girls I meet will be worth losing you over." Good answer Zac! Wow, that didn't take very much thought at all. Thats probably cause you already knew that was the right answer.
"Aww....I'm glad."
Chapter : Chapter 38: Confrontations
Even though it hadn't been that long since I saw Taylor, it felt so nice to be around him again. Just the his presence made me happy; knowing he was there. He was my comfort when Kat wasn't available, and he could do things best friends couldn't and shouldn't. Haha. Anyway, the dance was so great. Two days later, Kat and I got permission from Diana to throw them a going away party. We pointed out that out of all the times they've left, they've never gotten a party. So, knowing there would be a lot of people there, she decided to trust Kat and Zac. After Diana agreed to the party, Mr. Hanson goes, "You're loosening you grip Di." She calmly replied, "I know, I know."
We had only a little time to round up a lot of people, but we pulled it off. We gathered 57 people in 2 days. That wasn't too bad. It was short notice and they were nice enough to come. "Hanson" would leave the next day for their touring stuff. We had Walker take the guys and the kids out, cause it was a surprise going away party. Diana gave the excuse she was extremely tired and wanted a nap, so they all left and Diana called Kat and myself. We began decorating the basement. We moved the instruments and everything, opened the door that lead out to the back door. We needed to get tables set up, decorated, have food set out and everything by 5 o'clock, it was 10 when we came over. When Kat and I got there, Diana began spewing orders and we did as told. One job needed two people to work on it and I was already doing something so Kat and Diana teamed up. I overheard a conversations I'm sorta' glad I heard, and I wished I hadn't heard all at once. I was so proud of Kat for it, being brave and standing up to concequences like that, but I wished she had just let it lay dormant until it was ready to be discussed. She was very brave to take the chance. Of course, it was a good outcome, but I still wish she would have just left it alone. And I shouldn't have eavesdropped anyway; I couldn't help it though, they were just outside the door of the basement, in the backyard.
When Diana and I were putting up the lights and stuff, we got to talking. I decided that now was the time to confront her about the bra thing.
"Diana."
"Yes Kat?"
"I'm really sorry about causing trouble with Zac. I know better than to practically take advantage of a vounerable 12 year old. I just wanted you to know that I'm not going to pull anything like that ever again. Not until I am married to Zac, which probably won't happen, even though I want it to. When I was 12, someone took advantage of me, and I ended up not being lucky like Zac, and stopping. We went all the way. The only reason I'm telling you this is because I trust you like my own mother and it might help you understand why I act like I do." Diana was staring in disbelief at me, but I continued. "I had no right to try to take his innocence as mine was taken, and I am terribly sorry. But we did stop, before anything happened. Whether you believe me or not, I love Zac. Now, I'm sure you are thinking, well, shes only 15, she doesn't know what love is, but yes I do, I am and I know it, and I don't care if anyone believes me or thinks I'm psycho for being in love with a 12 year old famous kid. I love him. And I will wait my whole life for him. And I've known I've loved him since the day I went to a Hanson Brothers concert. They went off stage, but I yelled Zac and he came back and I gave him a fuzzy, blue teddy bear that he still has. I had more of a passion for him than any girl there. Now, that might have been because he was 8, but he meant more than the world to me then, and he means more that the world to me now. I hope I've helped you understand my feelings and position now. I am still sorry for trying to take his innocence and I hope you can forgive me some day. And, I'm sorry for hitting Taylor. But do you know what its like to be called a slut after you were taking advantage of when you were young?" I finished.
"Kat, do you know what its like to find out that a son of yours, who you thought was very innocent and sweet and young, is caught doing something like this? It makes you want to kill the person who broke the innocence of your child. And I am mad that you have exposed Zac to these things, and it seems to me, you do have deep feelings for Zac, which makes the situation a little better. But you guys have your whole lives to experience things and experiment, and he's still a kid, and even though he may think he wants something, hes not ready to do things that involve sex or be in sexual situations. I can see you have had problems in the past, being a vounerable 12 year old and having someone take advantage of you, but you can't blame that for doing things with Zac. That may be the psychological reason, and you should see a shrink to help you get over the old stuff, move on....but you can control what happens, experience or no experience. Now I don't know if you could in your situation, but in Zac's, you guys did control it, to a point. All I want, is to have my Zac stay innocent and safe until he is physically ready. I have forgiven you, and I am working on trusting you two again, but I need time. You can't expect this just to blow over in a couple of days. I am glad you confronted me, that makes me trust you more, and you calmly gave me your explanation, showing that you are really mature, and now you have calmly and openly listened to me, but I still need time to get over it. And about the Taylor thing, I guess he deserved it for calling you a slut, but still, you shouldn't take your anger out like that." Diana finished. "Now help me hang this string of lights up please."
"Sure. I hope we are at an understanding agreement." I held the string of lights up as she stapled them to the fence.
"Yes, I think we are."
"See, this party happened for a reason, everything happens for a reason, thats fate for ya." I smiled brightly. I was glad we were at agreement. I hate knowing people hate me or don't like me.
"Cute Kat, but I don't believe in fate." Diana stapled again.
"Oh."
We walked into the house, after a long day of running errands and eating and things. But when dad said he had a new paintball gun in the basement, we all flocked toward the basement door. We ran downstars, flipped the lights on and ....
"SURPRISE!!!" A bunch of people shouted, scaring the life out of me and making Zac scream. The crowd of people laughed at Zac. Then, Kat made here way through the crowd and hugged him. I soon spotted Joey and walked toward her.
"What is this?" I asked, embracing her.
"Your surprise going away party."
"Oh. Who came up with the idea?"
"Me and Kat. And we helped decorate and Kat confronted your mom about the bra thing."
"Really? What happened with that? Obviously Kat's still alive."
"Yeah, she really took a big chance....but your mom and her talked it over like complete grown ups. I don't think Kat has ever acted that mature. I was very proud of her, but very scared for her too."
"Why?"
"Cause she risked never seeing Zac again, just by bringing the subject up." She pointed out.
"Oh, yeah, I guess she did, didn't she?"
"Yep."
"Guess what?" I asked slyly.
"What?" She pulled away, noticing the foxlike act I was putting on.
"Our relationship isn't in the red, so, we could do something bad, and NOT get caught." I raised my eyebrows. She cocked her head, then shook her head and laughed.
"You don't learn from other peoples mistakes, do you?"
"Nope." I grinned.
"Haha.."
"Come on, let's dance at my party."
"Okay." She agreed, taking my hand.
We danced, ate, said good bye to people, got wished luck, and all that stuff that you do at going away parties. Near the end of the party, I noticed that I hadn't seen Kat or Zac in awhile. UH-OH! Please not again! I told Joey I hadn't seen them and we both began to look for them. We looked in the backyard, no Kat or Zac, we looked in the basement, no Kat or Zac, we looked in the laundry room, no Kat or Zac, then we went upstairs. It was dark and I heard voices coming from the dinnng room. Our dinning room is a room that has French doors (two doors that you pull open) and the rest is enclosed. I went up to the doors and heard Kat talking to Zac. I knew they were both in there and i knocked on the door.
"Come in." Zac said kinda sadly.
"Oh, there you guys are. We were just wondering where you were." And what you were doing, I thought. They were sitting at the table, in the dark. I guessed they were just talking.
"We're right here, and we're fine, look, we still have our clothes on." Kat half smiled. I could tell she had been crying. At that time, I also noticed that Kat was in a chair that was across from Zac, and not next to him. I knew then I wouldn't have to worry. But, I'd inform mom that I checked on them and they were fine. They were probably saying there last goodbye's. I heard Zac sniffle. I realized that her and Zac cried a lot together. I thought about it for a minute and I kinda' wished Joey and I were sentimental together like that. Opening our souls completely and having no fear of feeling stupid or anything. I mean, sure we had our moments - just like that, and we did things like that. But neither of us were very sentimental and we didn't do it NEAR as much as Kat and Zac. It made me almost sad.
"Okay, just checking." I smiled and closed the door. When I turned around, Joey was gone. Hmm, she must have gone back downstairs. I shrugged. Then I relayed to my mom that Kat and Zac were alone, but I checked on them and they were just fine; that they were just talking and saying goodbye.
"Alright." she sighed. Then I walked off to find Joey.
After Taylor left, Kat and I continued talking. We were just saying goodbye and talking about things we wish we could take back, and things we wish would have happened. If we could do just a couple things over, our lives would be more perfect. She told me some more secrets about her past life and I revealed things from my past that not even my best friend knew. It was just a very, whats the word....uh...oh yeah, intimate time for us. We just kind of opened up our pasts and let everything out. It was the weirdest time to do something like that. You'd think one of us was going to die the next day. Thinking of that reminded me or when Joey and Tay were playing truth or dare and Tay asked Joey what she would do if she had an hour to live. I let Kat finish her sentence.
"Kat, what would you do if you had 24 hours to live?" I asked, changing up the question a bit.
"Well, let me think.....hmmm......first, I'd get on God's good side, and ask him to take care of my friends and family, and hope they wouldn't go through too much pain. Then I would do little things that I've always wanted to do, like sky dive and stuff. And then, I'd invite you over, and I'd just sit in your arms, and probably talk about the things we're discussing right now. Then I'd just cry in your lap and I'd say goodbye, then I'd go to sleep, cause I always wanted to die peacefully in my sleep. I'd hold your hand on one side, and my mom would have the other one. Or, yeah, I'd want my dad and the rest family to come over and say goodbye to me too. And everyone would stand around and watch me fall into a sleep they knew I wouldn't come out of." I noticed Kat was crying harder at the thought of having to part with everyone. I realized that answer was a lot like Joey's. I moved over a chair and just hugged her and held her in my arms. Then, she sat on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder. I suddenly had the urge to sing.
"Put your head on my shoulder....blah blah blah blah blah...baby.." I sang. She laughed cause I didn't know the words. I continued singing anyway. She hummed along with the song, and sang when she knew the words. For me, that was almost better than the releasing our every last secret (which is practically what we did earlier), it was more intimate. I guess. I don't think I've ever used the word intimate before. It's kinda fun. Haha.....intimate, intimate, intimate, haha...anyway. I was glad we got to sit there, but after about 15 minutes of silence and thinking, I realized Kat hadn't moved in awhile, and my leg was falling asleep.
"Kat, get up please, my leg is alseep." I waited for her to move. "Kat, come on, stop joking around, I can't feel my leg." I waited a few more seconds. I tried again. "Kaaaaat, please get off my leg now." I whined. I did the cute little whine that, no matter what, Kat couldn't resist. She resisted it. Thats when I figured out that she was sleeping. I sighed, not wanting to move her, but wanting to feel my leg again. I gave up. I closed my eyes, leaned back in my chair, and fell asleep too.
Chapters 39-40
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