Chapter 43: Knowing Things is a Hard Job to Handle
Life was great. Everything was running so smoothly. Kat had almost regained Diana and Walker's full trust again. Kat and Zac were the perfect couple. Taylor and I were great. Isaac had even scored a new girlfriend and was quickly approaching their two week anniversary without problems. I knew something would have to mess everything up soon. I seemed to be a psychic when it came to predicting utter disaster.
I was sitting in the living room watching the munchkins while my parents were at a doctor's appointment for the babies. Jake and Tara were playing a computer game together while Chris and I watched Hercules for what seemed like the 100th time that week. When the phone rang I got up and ran to the kitchen to answer it, very glad to have a break from Chris trying to be Hercules and saying every line from the movie.
"Hello?"
"Honey, it's Dad. There's an emergency with the babies. You're mother is going to have to deliver them now," he said quickly.
"Why? It's a month early!" I exclaimed.
"Sweetie, I'll tell you when you get here." he explained, obviously exasperated. "I need you to find places for the little ones to stay tonight, because I doubt we'll be back until late tomorrow. Get a ride here from someone. We want you to be here in case anything happens, because I don't know if I can hold up alone for much longer."
"Does Mom know what's happening?"
"Not all of it. That's why I need you here. I need you to help me tell her if anything is seriously wrong."
"Okay, Dad. I'll be there within a half hour," I said quickly and hung up. I grabbed the address book for phone numbers.
"JAKE! TARA! CHRIS! Everybody come here now!" I yelled as I flipped through the numbers looking for places for the children to stay. They all came running in at once and I quickly told them that they would have to spend the night at someone's house. I had just picked up the phone to call my Aunt to see if she could take them, but the doorbell rang, stopping me. "Jake, go get the door." I asked hastily as I continued to dial and pray for her to be home. It rang a few times, and pushed him off towards the front of the house.
He ran to the door as I hung up on the answering machine to my aunt's house.
"Joey! It's Mrs. Hanson!" my brother yelled.
"Bring her in, Jake!" I yelled back, picking up the phone again as I found my Godparent's number.
"What's the matter, Joey? I came to see your mother, but I can tell something's wrong. Can I help?" Mrs. Hanson said in that motherly way.
"Well, Mom's having to induce labor apparently, and I'm trying to find a place for the kids to stay for tonight," I explained quickly, as I hung up on the busy signal I had just gotten.
"Well, I can take them," she offered.
"You could? You sure it wouldn't be too much trouble, you've got too many kids there already..." I sighed as I kept searching for someone in the book in front of me.
"Well, Jessie, Avie and Mackie are at my parent's house and Zac will be gone most of the day at Kat's so it wouldn't be a problem," she explained as I dialed another number.
"Okay, great," I said as I listened to the rings.
"Dear, who are you calling?" she asked, concerned.
"Someone to take care of the..." I realized what I was doing, and hung up the phone as the person on the other end answered. "Sorry, I'm just so worried, I don't know what to do." I looked down at my hands and saw how badly they were shaking.
"Dear, I'll have Isaac take you to the hospital. Come on, let's go in the van," she guided me and the children out to the large white van parked in front of our house.
I was sitting on my bed with a small keyboard, working out a new tune when I heard my mother yelling from the living room.
"Isaac! Grab your car keys! You're taking Joey to the hospital!" she shouted. The first thing that popped into my mind was, Oh...My...God. Joey's hurt... I ran down the stairs faster than I think I ever had and ran to Joey.
"What's the matter? What happened? Are you okay?" I asked, putting my arms around her trembling body.
"It's my mom and the babies..." she said, in a dazed and shocked voice.
"Oh, I thought it was you, thank God you're okay. What's wrong with the babies?" I asked quietly.
"I-I don't......I'm-I'm not.....sure," she shook her head. Just then Isaac came running into the room with his car keys and no shirt on.
"What's the matter?" he asked as he came in.
"There's something wrong with Joey's mom and the babies," I said quickly.
"Okay, let's go," he opened the front door and ushered Joey out.
"Mom? Can I go? I want to be with Joey," I asked quickly.
"Go ahead. Call me and tell me what's wrong when you get there, would you? I'm so worried. Comfort her, Taylor. She really needs it."
"Will do. See ya later."
At the hospital, Joey's father was waiting for her. She had snapped out of her shock and daze in the car and was now full of questions.
"Where's Mom? What's wrong? Are the babies okay? Is Mom okay?" she shot questions at her haggard father.
"She's in the delivery room. When we did the ultrasound, we found out that one of the babies is in distress. They're not sure if it will come out alive or not. Mom is fine, but they're having to do a cesarean," her father said sadly. "We can't see her right now, and we can't until the delivery is over. I just needed you here because I wanted you to talk to Mom when she came out of it. You know you can always comfort her better than I can. Besides, I'm so worried, I don't think I could even look at her if one of the babies, God forbid, should....die."
"It's okay, Dad. That's not going to happen. Why don't you sit down and rest a minute. You look so tired," Joey helped her father into a large chair near him. He sat down and put his head in his hands and closed his eyes, nearly sick with worry. Joey then looked at me, her eyes filled with more unanswered
questions. I walked over to her and put my arms around her.
"It's okay, Joey. It'll be just fine," I soothed. I looked over at Isaac who was just standing there and watching. "You can go home if you want to, Isaac. We'll call you when we need a ride home."
Isaac nodded and then went quietly out the doors. Joey looked up into my eyes and sighed. "Taylor, what if the baby doesn't survive? What are we going to do?" she whispered.
"You'll stick together with your family and get through it with a lot of love and support from your friends and siblings. Besides, it'll be fine. The baby is going to live - I can feel it in my bones."
Joey looked unsure, still, so she laid her head on my shoulder and held onto me. I knew she was probably crying, but she didn't want me to see.
Zac and I had decided to work on the story some more while he was at my house. Joey had been the last one to write, and we were reading her part. It was interesting, because it was a part where Joey and Taylor were getting intimate. They were on her bunk bed and kissing and.... When I read that she pushed him off I got confused. Joey had never told me about that. I continued reading and felt sickened when I read her story. Joey had never told me of the molestation and I was taken completely by surprise. Suddenly I felt like I was going to throw up. I ran to the bathroom and knelt over the toilet. I only gagged, but Zac came in and held my hair back anyway. When I wiped my face off after the feeling left, I felt tears. I don't know if they were for the fact that something so awful happened to someone I love so dearly or the fact that someone I love so dearly didn't feel she could trust me with such a dark secret of her past. Zac soothed me and rubbed my back as he held me, trying to calm my emotions. When I was finally under control, we walked back to the computer room and sat down.
"I can't believe she never told me," I shook my head.
"Well, sometimes things like that are really hard to tell," Zac said.
"One of my friends had something like that happen to him while we were friends, and he didn't tell me until one day he let me read a journal entry and he mentioned something about it. He had to tell me, but he still didn't want to."
"But why would she think she couldn't tell me?" I asked.
"Maybe she just wanted to spare you of the burden of knowing. You know Joey, if there's a problem, she tries to fix it by herself. Maybe she thought this was a problem she was supposed to fix herself. Who knows? Maybe she just couldn't bear to bring it up unless she had to. There's a lot of reasons she wouldn't tell you and most of them have nothing to do with you."
"This is so weird," I stared into space, thinking about Joey. "This whole time I thought Joey had the perfect life. Perfect family, no problems with her past, and no problems with her future. And all this time I would tell her my little selfish problems and she would act as though they were such a big deal, and help me through them. Now I feel like everything I have gone through is insignificant compared to this."
"Kat, I'm sure Joey doesn't want you to think that. It's not that her problems are worse, just that they're different. This is Joey's one big secret. Her bad memory. Having day to day problems that aren't quite as big can be just as hard as having one huge one. Besides, you had that whole thing when you were twelve. Don't dismiss your own problems, but do talk to Joey and help her know that you care. I really don't think it's a matter of whose problems are worse. It's a matter of whose problems are unknown."
Chapter 44: Stress With a Capital "S"
An hour and a half later, a doctor came out, asking my father. He jumped up from his chair and approached the doctor who was still in her scrubs.
"How's my wife? Is the baby okay?" he asked quickly.
"Your wife is fine. You have two babies, both girls, but one is in critical condition," the doctor explained. "She had her umbilical cord around her neck for a long time, and it may have affected her brain. We're not sure, yet, but we are trying to get the baby to wake. She's alive, but just barely. We should know what will happen, good or bad, within the next half hour. It's okay to see your wife now, but only family members can go in, and for only a few minutes; she's still a little groggy from the operation, but she needs to know how her children are."
My father and I began to follow the doctor. I turned to Taylor and told him I'd be right back. He kissed my cheek gently as he went back into the waiting room. The doctor led us to a room a little way down the hall and motioned for us to go in. We went in and saw my mother laying on a bed, her eyes half open and her hand laying gently on her now bulge-less tummy.
"Sweetheart?" My dad cooed.
"Hi..." my mom gave a tiny smile.
"How you doing?" My dad asked quietly.
"Well, my stomach hurts a little, but I think I'll live. It's not like I haven't had children before," her smile widened, but then faded. "Darling, the babies?"
"They're...." I could see my dad's eyes tear over. I approached my mother.
"Mom, they'll be fine, but right now one of them isn't perfect yet. They're not totally sure if they'll be anything wrong with her, but we'll find out soon enough. They'll be fine," I said. At this moment in time, there was no reason to tell her that the baby could easily die.
"I got a girl?" she laughed a little.
"Yep, two of them," I nodded.
"Two little girls to dress up in those cute little dresses. Oh, this is so wonderful. When can I see them?" she sighed.
"Well, we don't know yet, dear," my dad responded. "The doctor will tell us soon. For now, you just rest up and think about the cute little girls we'll take home soon."
With that, my father gave my mother a kiss and we exited into the hallway again and closed the door behind us.
"I'm going to the cafeteria to get some food now. If anything about the baby comes up, come get me, okay?" my father asked me.
"Okay, Dad. See you later," I forced a smile and watched him disappear around the corner towards the cafeteria. After he was out of sight, my smile instantly faded. I walked blindly to the waiting room as tears began to fill my eyes. Taylor got up and ran to me when he saw my forlorn look.
"Is everything okay?" he asked worriedly.
"The babies are fine - for now. So is Mom," I assured him. I turned away and walked toward a vacant corner of the waiting room, somewhat secluded from the other worried fathers and siblings waiting for news on their own laboring mothers-to-be. I sat down in one of the comfy chairs and looked at the wall, trying to clear up the tears in my eyes.
"I know they're fine," he kneeled down in front of me and pushed my hair away from my face and whispered, "But what about you?"
I finally looked him in the eyes and felt all emotions break loose. I buried my head in his shoulder as the sobs rose out of my chest. "I don't know if I can be strong anymore, Taylor," I cried. "It's so hard. I don't know if I can handle it if Mom loses this baby. I feel so helpless but so responsible."
"Joey, don't say that. You KNOW you can't be responsible for this," Taylor said forcefully. Then, noticing the unusually fragile state I was in, he softened his tone. "Listen, if this is God's plan, then this is the way it should be. If God wants the baby to live, He'll save her. But if He doesn't, then we have to be strong and accept His will and use our own wills to make the other baby that much more special and loved."
Just then the doctor tapped me on the shoulder. "Sorry to ruin the moment, but I have news about the little girl."
"By all means, go ahead," Taylor coaxed eagerly.
"She's going to be fine," she smiled.
"Oh, thank God!" I breathed as I hugged Taylor.
"The umbilical cord may have caused a small amount of brain damage, though. We can't be sure until the baby starts to mature, but she'll be able to be a healthy and well-adjusted child, even if she does turn out to be a bit slower than other children her age."
"Oh, I've got to go tell dad!" I exclaimed, getting up.
"Already taken care of. I caught him in the hallway, and he's in with your mother telling her the good news now. They're going to bring the girls in there for just a few moments if you'd like to join them."
"Thank you doctor. You've helped to work a miracle," I sighed, hugging her.
"Life is a miracle in itself, child. Now go see your new baby sisters," she told me.
After Kat and I read about Joey’s past, we didn't feel much like writing anymore. I left around fifteen minutes later, saying I had a headache. I really didn't, I just knew Kat wanted to call Joey and talk to her. I found out that she wouldn't be doing this when I got home to a house full of children. Well, not like that's not normal, but it was a house full of children unrelated to me. I found out that Joey's little brothers and sister were staying with us because her mother had an emergency at the hospital. When Isaac came home, he told us the whole problem, and Mom told Tara and Jake; she figured that Chris was a little too young to understand. He was content with the fact that he had a bunch of little edible goldfish crackers in hand.
About twenty minutes after I got home, there was a call from Taylor. I grabbed another phone and came on when Taylor was talking.
"...will be fine. Both babies are girls and they'll be fine, too. Everything's great now, but Joey's mom has to stay overnight and the babies will stay a few nights just to make sure they're okay."
"That's wondeful honey!" my mother said, obviously relieved.
"Yeah, isn't it?" he laughed.
"Do you need Isaac to come back and get you?"
"Nah. I think we're hitching a ride with Joey's dad. We'll see you later."
"All right. Bye, honey," my mother hung up the phone. I did so as well, but I almost asked Taylor about Joey's addition to the story. I decided against it, and figured I'd ask him that night.
I knew Kat would definitely want to hear the good news, so I called her and told her all the goings on for the past half hour. She of course was elated, but her happiness was a bit subdued because of the new knowledge she had aquired. I hoped she wouldn't be mad at Joey for not telling her sooner, since Joey had enough stress for the day.
That night, Taylor got home around 10. He came straight up to the room, a smile plastered on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" Ike asked after he glanced at Taylor while searching for an apartment in the newspaper.
"Girls..."
"Just girls in general? Do you have a harem or is this just one girl who likes to be referred to in the plural form?" he asked smartly. He seemed a lot happier now that he was looking for a place to stay. Unfortunately, he still had a talk with the parental units to look forward to.
"Shut up, wiseass," Taylor flipped Isaac off.
"Oooh, touché. Is someone touchy about this subject?" Isaac laughed. When it got quiet, I figured it was a good time to talk to Taylor, but I knew Isaac didn't know the secret yet.
"Isaac, would you mind leaving? I need to talk to Taylor," I asked cautiously. Isaac had been a live wire lately, and any number of phrases could easily set him off. This was probably one of them, but I had to risk it.
"What? Can't you say things in front of me anymore? Or is it that now that I'm moving out I'm no longer part of the friendship?" Isaac snapped. I was right.
"No, it's just a secret that I don't think should get past these lips," I sighed.
"Then why are you telling Taylor?"
"He already knows."
"So, not only do I not get to listen to conversations, I can't hear secrets. This is fucked up. I'm going to talk to Mom and Dad about moving out right now."
With that, Isaac stormed out of the room and I just shook my head. Touchy, touchy.
Taylor just shrugged and turned to me. "So what is this secret you need to talk to me about?"
Chapters 45-46
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