Chapter 55 : Making Amends
I couldn’t believe that this whole deal had everyone against each other. Isaac and Shelley were even against each other after Isaac told her about it. I was afraid to tell Mom and Dad because they might even start a fight. It was really strange to see everyone fighting like that. Kat and I had an ongoing fight about whether saying that you don’t love someone enough was the same as saying you didn’t love them. I thought so, but apparently Kat thinks there’s a line between the two. She made sure to point that out when we were walking together the morning before the press conference.
“If I said I didn’t love you enough, I would still love you. I’ll always love you, but sometimes you just don’t think you love someone enough to give them everything,” Kat argued.
“Yo, but, dude! You don’t just say that to someone straight out!”
“She didn’t! She was telling him because he was trying to get her to have sex. What if I was to ask you to give up your fame and music?”
“But that’s different. If I gave up my fame, I might never get it back!”
“What do you think happens with virginity?!?”
I didn’t say anything. I could easily see her point. She was so right, but I wasn’t about to lose this battle to her. I had lost so many battles in the past few months, I wanted to win one of the biggest ones of all.
“Ugh!” I threw my hands in the air and then walked away. I knew the smug look that would be sitting on Kat’s face, so I didn’t bother turning around.
When I got home, Taylor was looking rather haggard. “Yo, Tay dude. You better take a shower and stuff in like,” I glanced at my watch, “the next five minutes because we still have that press conference this afternoon and it’s in downtown Tulsa. By the way, how is Joey today?”
“Don’t know. I was up until two babysitting her siblings, and when her dad got home, he said she was getting a lot better but was a shakey still. I can’t believe it’s all my fault. That’s just too awful. I guess I’ll go to go get ready real quick,” he sighed, going to grab a towel before heading off to the shower.
“Hey Zac,” Isaac greeted with a smile as he entered our small room.
“Yo, Ike. How’s it goin’ dude?” I greeted back. I seemed to have a problem with saying “yo” and “dude” that day.
“Just great,” he smiled. That seemed strange. Everyone else was fighting and I didn’t think he was excluded.
“I thought you and Shelley were fighting over the Joey and Tay thing.”
“We were, but I was tired of not getting kisses and let me tell you, after I started agreeing with her, I got the best kiss-and-make-up time of all. I highly recommend making up with Kat, man. It’s well worth it,” he chuckled.
“I would, but actually, she’s pretty close to making me contradict every word I say already,” I admitted. “Anyway, have you seen Tay? He’s so out if it. He feels so responsible for what happened to Joey now.”
“Well, can you blame him? She had a nervous break down over it!”
“Not a breakdown, Ike, just a panic attack,” I corrected.
“Same difference. Anyway, I actually kind of agree with Joey’s point of view after Shel explained it to me. Taylor was kind of quick to judge her words.”
“Great, now even you’re going over to the women’s side! Sheesh! Yo, dude, I like never expected you, of all people, to abandon us!” I exclaimed dramatically.
“Yo, dude, with kisses like that, what can you expect!” he mocked me. We had lost Isaac--the man with all the good reasons. Now me and Taylor had to support ourselves on our own flimsy ideas.
“Mom, really, I’m fine. I don’t need anything right now,” I tried to get my mother out of my room. The medicine I was taking really mellowed me out and made it hard to concentrate at times. The doctor told me I would slowly grow used to the medicine and after a few months it wouldn’t bother me anymore and that’s when the prescription would run out. Supposedly, by calming me, the medicine would keep me from thinking so harshly about any situation I was in and keep the anxiety down.
I flipped on the t.v., knowing that Zac was on his way, with his family to a press conference. It would be held in the press room for channel five. No matter how much I was mad at him, I just couldn’t help taping it. I slipped my tape in the v.c.r. as the live footage came through.
“Hi guys, we are ready when you are.” Ike cleared his throat. “Yes, you in the black hat.”
“Do you guys have girlfriends yet?”
I almost had this answer down by heart. I talked along as Zac answered it, “Well, we don’t have girlfriends.” Thats what I said, what came out of his mouth was different.
“Well, we do have girlfriends, well, Ike and I do. Tay doesn’t.” He finished. I almost screamed. I didn’t think he was serious about informing people they had girlfirends.
“And, if our fans don’t appreciate that we do have girlfriends, we’re sorry, but we do have lives. I mean, we can’t live a life differently just because a lot of people know our names, you know?” Taylor finished for Zac. I was surprised that Tay said anything at all.
“So let me get this straight, all of you EXCEPT Taylor has a girlfriend?” A nosy reporter asked.
“DON’T MAKE HIM FEEL THAT LOUSY WHORE!!” I yelled at the t.v. screen. I threw my shoe at it and decided I wasn’t that mad at Taylor and Zac after all, in fact, this was a stupid fight. I am stubborn, so I won’t admit that they are right, especially when they aren’t, I hoped Zac would come crawling back. I missed him. Now he had even admitted on t.v. that he had me. I was so mad, I missed what Taylor had said in return and another question had risen.
“What are your girlfriends names?” a channel eight reporter asked.
“Why can’t they just leave it at girlfriends?” I sighed and sat down on the comfy chair.
“Well, we know that they wanna stay unknown for their own safety and protection.” Ike answered.
“Oh, well are they imaginary?” A dumb person asked, no one person was pointed out on asking it. It got a couple chuckles, but they died in a matter of three seconds. The guys just ignored it.
“Next question please.”
“Zac, what did you do for your birthday?”
“Well, we went to the mall and I got some new clothes with my girlfriend and Tay and his.....” Zac stopped for a split second, then continued, “and a friend of ours.”
“So, did you get mobbed?”
“No, actually not until me and my girlfriend went outside to transfer stores. Then thats when I decided that we, well, I would release that I did, in fact, have a girlfriend.” Zac smiled directally in the camera. Then he slightly frowned. He missed me.
“Did you guys do anything for Halloween?” A channel 11 guy asked.
“Yeah, we went to a party and dressed up and took our siblings and some of our friends out to trick-or-treat.” Taylor answered. He’d been pretty quiet since that one question about the girlfriends.
“Do you guys have any plans for a new album?”
“Yes, we’re going to call it, Making Amends, and it will be released in the next couple of months.” Taylor spoke again. He was getting a little more into this. Zac and Isaac looked at him funny when he said that. It was almost a look of, What the heck is he talking about?
“Wait a second, they never mentioned anything about that before, we’re the first to know everything!” I got mad again. Something wasn’t right.
I don’t know why I said it. It wasn’t true. I guess I just wanted some amends to be made and the only way I could get my mind off them was to put it into music somehow. Crap, I’m in deep shit now. Why the hell do I get imyself into situations like these?
“No, we don’t.” Ike answered. What the hell was the question?
“So, do you guys ever think about moving out yet? Especially Isaac, do you have any plans for college?”
“Not yet, I have the perfect career right now.” Ike smiled fakely and then we took one more question. My mind wandered thinking about Joey.
“Taylor?”
“Huh?” I snapped to.
“The nice lady over there asked you why you didn’t have a girlfriend.”
“Well, I don’t really think that’s the publics’ business, nor is that we have or had girlfriends at all. If we have REAL fans, they won’t mind, they’ll be happy for us. In fact, the reason I don’t have a girlfriend is because I just broke up with her. We had been going out for months and its none of anyones business why I broke up with her or exactally how long any of us have been dating.” I said quickly and sharply. I knew I promised myself I wouldn’t say anything about Joey, but I just couldn’t help it.
“Tay, don’t get nippy, it’ll be all over the news that you are rude and everything.” Zac, who was sitting next to me, whispered.
“I know, but it’s not their business.”
“Well, would you rather them get it from you, or from some little fan trying to scare everyone off?” Zac asked a logical question.
“I guess that’s true.”
“Thank you all!” Zac yelled and we stood up and left.
The next day the papers read, “THE HANSON’S SCORE: Girlfriends That Is.” It proceeded to tell everyone about how I broke it off with an innocent fan.
“That sucks, that’s not even what I said.” I really felt like suing the paper. I wish I had the guts to, but I didn’t want to ruin our image just for a stupid paper. I was in a crappy mood the rest of the day.
My phone rang as I was resting my eyes. I had just finished a great book called Go Ask Alice. It was pretty cool. I picked up the phone, surprised to hear the voice on the other phone.
“Hello?”
“Crap, I dialed the wrong number, I’m sorry.” Taylor apologized.
“It’s okay, bye.”
“No, wait. I did dial the wrong number, but that’s cause I’ve been thinking about what you said. I was gonna call Tim, but I guess your number came to mind. Um, I realized that you were right, and even if we can’t get back together, I understood what you meant now. I’m sorry I didn’t see it before. Ike had Shelley come over and explain it to me and I see now.”
“I’m glad you see it my way, but I think I need to recover for awhile.” How could he put me through all of that and suddenly realize, Oh gee, I was wrong, better apologize. “Thanks for calling though.”
“No problem, I’ll see you sometime, k?”
“Taylor, I know you’re calling me because my mom asked you to. She told me.”
“No, no no no no no, she SUGGESTED I call you, she thought I’d make you feel better to talk to me. I told her I wasn’t ready to talk to you yet, so now, this accidental phone call will have to do.” I heard him heave a sigh and begin talking, “Joey, when you said you didn’t think you loved me enough, my entire world came crashing down on me, I thought you meant that you didn’t love me enough for your trust. Shelley came over this morning and explained it the way she did to Ike, she said it’s like our {Zac, Ike and my} fame, the reason I cherish the fame I have is because it could be gone in a second and I could never have it back again. Well, she put it into those terms and then said, Taylor, you love your music right, and you wouldn’t give it up to the world, well thats probably why Joey doesn’t want to give it up, she wants to wait for the right time and place to give it up, not in the heat of the moment. She does love you, but some people just need time. I walked off mad because everyone was getting on your side. I walked into the basement and sat on the couch, alone. I thought about that night and replayed everything I could remember. I didn’t remember much because I was looking with my hormones, but then I remembered the sincerety in your voice as you said it, you didn’t mean that you didn’t love me, it just meant that you weren’t READY to give it up yet. And I don’t know if thats what you really meant, but I think everyone should thank that thought because without it, I’d still be blind. And this mornings’ paper, I don’t know if you saw it, but it said I broke up with some innocent fan, yes, you are innocent, and you are a fan, but you know how they meant it. It hurt me so much to see that they make me out to be such a bad guy, then I thought about how right the ad was. I hurt an innocent fan that loves me very much, and even if it is enough to put your life on the line, doesn’t mean it is enough to give up something special that you will never give back.” He sighed again, waiting for my response.
“Taylor, I don’t know what to say, you broke up with me for sex...”
“No, I didn’t. Do you remember how many times you had said no before? I broke up with you because I misunderstood what you considered “enough love.””
“Okay, well it was still a reason that shouldn’t have ended us. Everyone, including me thought that we would be together forever, and when that didn’t happen, it shocked me and surprised me. I didn’t know what to think. What was one part of me, when the other was missing, you know? And I had no idea on how to function, so I broke down. My body just gave up on trying to deal with the stress and everything and I went into an anxiety attack. I was so scared, I had no idea what was happening, but I knew the cause of it, and I just can’t stop thinking about what landed me in the hospital. You, Taylor, you did. I still love you and I will always love you, but I don’t know if I can handle dealing with you right now. I just need some time alone to decide if I wanna get back into the races, or pull back and rest some more, now if you please, I have to take a nap. I frequently do because of my medicine, so it’s not because of you. I love you.”
“I love you too Jo, call me if you’re ready, or if you wanna talk, I’m still your friend, I think.”
“Of course you are, thats why I still love you. Bye.” I hung up, saddened at the thought of everything that just happened.
Chapter 56 : Kiss And Make Up
Boy was Ike right. I asked him to drop me off at Kat’s after the press conference. He did and I decided to try his advice. Just my luck, Kat answered the door, but she was all flustered.
“YES?!?!?!?” She asked, almost whipping the door of its hinges.
“Um, hi?”
“Hey Zac.” She said quite blandly.
“I’m sorry, you were right the whole time.” I put my head down, “ashamed.”
“Aww.....Zac thats so, manly of you to admit, come here.” She opened her arms. I gave her a big hug and then I looked into her eyes. I knew a kiss was coming. What a kiss. Ike certainly was right and I was damn glad I listened to him for once. He knew what he was talking about.
“WHOA!” I exclaimed after the kiss.
“Wow!” Was all Kat could say. It had probably been five minutes on her front porch, that we had stood there and just kissed. Ike was SO right. I would have to thank him...... later.
“Wanna come in?” Kat raised her eyebrow.
“Sure.” I smirked. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me through the door. We said hi to Bill and Kat’s mom as we walked through the living room to the basement door. We got down there and Kat and I found our way to the couch and turned off the lights. I didn’t expect to get any, but one hot make-out session was on the way. The worst one we’ve had is the one where we were in the tree-house, I know I’ve written about that one. But this would turn out to be the next closest. We ended up in our underwear and me on top of her. We were breathing hard, our chests bursting to reach air. My hand was touching her tender breasts that were warm and sweaty, her hand on the outside of my boxers, sometimes “accidentally” touching my stuff. My other hand was roaming, sometimes I’d catch it, and know where it was, other times I had no idea what it was doing, it’d just keep going. Her hot kisses were sweet, passionate and full of force. They were hard kisses, desperate kisses even I thought this would be it, I was finally going to have sex, for the first time. Then, I thought about it, I didn’t wanna do that yet, so we just kept messing around. She would playfully pull down my boxers and mess with my stuff for a little bit, and then we'd kiss and go on our merry way of kissing and touching. She would then hug me close or ask me to lick her, stuff like that--that I would do. Finally it was so hot in the basement, that sweat was pouring off the walls. We obviously hadn’t heard someone come down the stairs because a second later, we were blinded by light. We sat there, decently naked now, she had taken off her bra, and we just layed on the pull out couch and thought how great that had been. Of course, that was after we hid. It turned out that it was K.J, but he didn’t see anything. So we resorted to our old thoughts; that had been awesome. It may have seemed like it, but it wasn’t just a heat of the moment thing. It was performed because we knew we would get married one day. We weren’t really sure of that, like Jo and Tay had been, but we knew in our hearts that it was possible and thats all that mattered, even if the public didn’t know. Finally K.J. left and we were safe.
“That was one hot piece of something there, eh?”
“Yes.” Kat agreed indefinately. I had even fingered her every once in a while during that period of about half an hour. She had done some much more to me, she’d even jacked me off. She did a better job than I did!! I really hate writing about this kind of stuff in the book because one day, someone will read this, and I know that I will get in so much trouble, but hey, it may just end up being our personal little book that we look at for years to cum, I mean come, hehe.....I just wish I didn’t have the nerve to write all of this down.....hehe...I have no shame!!! Anyway, I’m glad to bring back those memories. Excuse me while I go to the restroom.
After I read that Zac had actually wrote the raunchy stuff he wrote in the book, even though every word of it was true, I was a little annoyed.
“ZA-AC! You’re not suppose to write that, what if your mom finds this!?!?!!”
“How is my mom suppose to find it, if its at your house dip shit?”
"Good point." That's where the conversation stopped and we started to make out. It's our past-time. I guess we're just horny or something.
Chapters 57 and 58
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