Chapter 57 : Sweet Roses and Blackmail
Finally off my medicine, I felt strangely happy. Taylor hadn’t called again after the call where he explained himself. I spent my days hanging out with my siblings and talking to Kat and my nights in bed thinking about what I was going to do about Taylor. Luckily, it wasn’t quite so overwhelming, so I wasn’t worried about having another attack. Two weeks after Taylor’s call, I had all my thoughts gathered and I decided it was time to talk to Taylor.
I walked to his house, unaware of whether he was home or not. I knocked and smiled as Diana came to the door.
“Joey, hello. I suppose you’re here to talk with Taylor. He’s downstairs in the basement,” she hurried me towards the door.
“Why are you so eager to get me down there?” I questioned, kind of amused.
“Joey, Taylor’s been such a wreck since a couple of weeks ago. If you two talk, maybe he’ll be happier. I’m afraid he’s going to explode one day and there’s going to someone on the press there to see it. I don’t want them to get bad press right now. It would kill Taylor,” she explained. I simply nodded and started my descent down the steep wooden steps. Soon, I heard a piano starting to be played. I followed the sweet, saddened chords and took a seat on one of the bottom steps where Taylor couldn’t see me and listened as he began a song I’d never heard.
The rose of love
Full of thorns
Tears me apart,
Pricks me when I’m not ready
Sweet rose of love
Brought you here
But also tears you away
It hurts
But I know it’s just a thorn
On our way to the beautiful
Silken petals
My heart went out to Taylor in that moment. I was still a little angry with him about the whole ordeal, but I could see how he could misunderstand my statement about not loving him enough. Suddenly, the speech I had practiced earlier in the day seemed inappropriate for my new feelings on the situation. I sat there searching for words as Taylor continued to play around on the piano, playing different cords and melodies. I got up, still lost for words and approached the piano where he had his back to me. That’s when the only thing I could think of came to me. I was never much of a singer, but I knew the words were right for the situation, and I knew them by heart. I walked up slowly and quietly and put my hands on his shoulders and then sang softly into his ear, “I don’t know about you, but this thing we’re going through is tearing me in two. And I know you don’t believe me when I say, I’ll love you ‘til the end. Forever and a day.”
“You’re wrong,” Taylor turned around and looked at me. I stared at his blank face as he got up and then smiled, “I do believe you.”
Quickly, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “I missed you,” I whispered.
“I missed you more.”
I never knew how fun messing around was until that time with Zac in the basement. I quickly wrote down ever detail about it, and I was going to write it in here, but I can see that Zac already had that pleasure. I already pointed that out. I was not happy about that. He didn’t write what happened afterwards though. Zac and I hung out in my room for an hour or so more before he had to go home. I just laid on my bed and thought about what we had done. Feelings rose out of the pit of my stomach that made me just cringe with joy. It was the weirdest thing that I had ever felt.
“Kat?” I heard K.J. knock on my door.
“Come in,” I welcomed him as I sat up on my bed.
“Hey,” he smiled as he came in my slightly messy room. “How’s it going?”
“Just great. I’m just chillin’ here. Wanna join me?
“Nah, I just came to say that I, uh, saw you. You and Zac....you know. And that I want your stereo,” he raised his eyebrows.
“Funny, K.J.,” I smiled, throwing a pillow at him.
“Yeah, real funny. Give me your stereo. Oh, and I need a couple of bucks, like, maybe ten.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” I laughed, hoping it was a joke.
“Nope, I’m not,” he kept a straight face.
“But that’s blackmail. And it’s just your word against mine,” I shot at him.
“Who do you think they’re gonna believe? The girl whose bra was found at her boyfriend’s house or me?” I was appalled. I had always thought K.J. was so honest and he was blackmailing me! He knew he could get anything he wanted.
“How do you know about that?”
“My dad told me. Now unhook your stereo or I’m on my way to talk to your mother,” he smiled coyly.
“You are such an asshole,” I hissed as I got up slowly and approached my stereo. I took out the CDs and tapes and quickly unplugged it and unhooked the speakers. “Take it.”
When I got home from Kat’s I grabbed some Doritos and a coke and settled on the couch. Once there, I began flipping channels. but my mind wasn’t too much on the television. I found most of my attention on the previous events of the day.
“Zac, get your lazy butt off the couch and do your chores,” Isaac sat down beside me and grabbed the controller.
“What if I don’t want to?” I grabbed the controller back from him.
“Too bad,” Isaac grabbed the Doritos. “Your turn to clean up the music junk in the basement.”
“Ohhh, the agony! Fine, fine, I’m on my way...”
I left the room with my coke in hand and started for the basement. The sheet music was probably strewn around the room and there would be a lot of other papers with random notes and lyrics written on them from sudden ideas. There would be extra guitar strings laying by the guitars and all the wires would be tangled. The keyboard would be on all the wrong settings since I saw Mackie going down there to play. Coke cans and dishes would be all over the place. Trash in the corners and some sort of grime on the floor that I usually just covered up by pulling the rug farther over to hide it. And, of course, my drums would be in bad shape. I already knew one of the symbals was laying on the floor from when it fell off the other day. I couldn’t find one of my lucky drumsticks and a few of the drums needed to be put on better. I hated cleaning the basement. As I came down the stairs, I stopped short to see Taylor and Joey hugging. The coke in my mouth went suddenly spewing down the steps and onto them.
“Gee, thanks Zac, but I had already had a shower today. Guess you can never have too many, though,” Joey wiped her face dramatically with one hand.
“Are you two....?”
“Kind of. Not completely yet, though. We have a bit to work out, though.
I spent a lot of time thinking out a way to get my stereo back. When the idea came to me, I ran down the stairs and found my mom.
“Mom, I have a problem,” I said sadly when I found her.
“What is it, baby?” she put down the article she had been reading and put her attention on me.
“Well, K.J. caught me and Zac kissing and stuff and he threatened to tell you and kind of make it sound a lot worse unless I gave him my stereo.
“That’s absurd! Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. He probably just wanted my stereo and wouldn’t think to ask for it. If he really wanted it, I would have given it to him for a just a little money,” I shrugged.
“Well that’s going to stop right now,” she got up and left the room. I already heard her calling for Bill and K.J.
Chapter 58 : Whatever Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger
Joey and I decided to spend a day together just to talk things over and catch up on what we missed. We packed a picnic and decided to go to the smallish water tower near my house. As smaller children, me and my brothers had spent many careless days goofing off around the 30 foot, checkered land mark. Joey spread out a worn quilt and we sat down on it together. It was mid-November, closing in on Isaac’s birthday. It was the time of the month when it usually started to freeze over, but it was uncharacteristically warm that day, allowing us to wear shorts and be quite comfortable.
I put a careful arm around Joey and kissed her lightly on the cheek. I then looked at her and said, “I’ve got an idea.”
“Okay.”
“I know I have a ton of questions for you, and I’m pretty sure you probably have a ton for me, too. Why don’t we just spend a little while just battling it out with our questions and then put this all behind us and go back to being Joey and Taylor.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Joey nodded.
“Okay, I’ve got the first one. Why are you so scared to lose your virginity?”
“Well, there are a lot of reasons. I’m afraid of what my emotions are going to do. I mean, am I suddenly going to crave sex all the time? I don’t know. Physically, I’m a little worried about the pain. I mean I know it won't kill me, but the statistics say that nine of out of ten girls under the age of 18 say that their first time was very painful and quite awkward and they wished they had waited. And of course there’s all the responsibilities that come with sex: you have to worry about condoms, birth control pills, STDs. You have to think about the possibility of getting pregnant and ruining your life. Parents can find out, parents sometimes don’t understand, parents keep you away from each other when they find out. Things happen......And then, I’m scared of......of......you. I mean, what if we have sex and you don’t like it? What if you decide that we must not be compatible because our sex didn’t ‘rock your world?’ I mean, no offense, but you’re a guy. Guys tend to be more involved in the sex and if it's not great, some just leave the girl hanging.”
“Joey, I would never do that to you. Besides, whenever we’re just messing around, I feel so awesome, even if sex isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, I’d still be satisfied just to hold you,” I whispered. “I was worried that you just didn't want to have your first time with me.”
“No, Taylor. From the first time we kissed, I wanted you to be my first. I have an intense desire to see you naked,” Joey laughed.
“Well, if the desire’s intense...” I got up and jokingly started to undo my shorts.
“That’s okay, Taylor. I’ll wait on that one,” Joey laughed, pulling me back down. “Okay, my turn. This is the million-dollar question. Why would you think that I didn’t love you at all?”
“I don’t know,” I answered vaguely. I saw the Bullshit-O-Meter in Joey’s eyes hit about 1,000 and I knew quickly that I had given the wrong answer. “Okay, fine. I know. I guess I just had this idea that we were so close to sex and when you refused me yet again, I felt like you didn’t love me. Then you fed me the line that you didn’t love me enough and I took that in the wrong way. I was thinking more with my hormones than my common sense, I guess.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes I like it when you think with your hormones, just not when it leads you to break up with me,” she put a gentle hand on my arm.
We continued to shoot questions back and forth, each being very sensitive to the answers and appreciating the fact that we could talk like that and get all of our doubts out. After we were both fresh out of questions, I laid down on the quilt and sighed heavily.
“I’m so glad that’s over,” she smiled down at me.
“Me too,” I agreed. Joey softly laid her head on my chest and played with the hem of my shirt. Her hands played down at the top of my shorts and suddenly I felt myself start to get myself in an embarrassing situation, if you know what I mean. I was getting a little too.... happy with my situation.
I inwardly groaned when I heard Joey giggle a little. I knew exactly what she had just seen. “Taylor, all this talk....exciting you?”
“Nah, it’s just the feeling of you here....so close....” I was surprised at how honest I was.
“Well, maybe we need to further that feeling,” she smiled as she pushed herself up and put her face above mine. “What do you think?”
“I’d agree,” I nodded before lifting my lips to hers and kissing her tenderly. She lifted herself away a little, but then brought her lips back down to mine and kissed me aggressively. Isaac and Zac had both made me aware of how incredibly worth the original pain it was to kiss and make up, and now I was reaping the benefits, as well.
I soon found myself on top of Joey and ran my fingers through her slightly wavy hair. I moaned slightly when I felt Joey’s hand find my erection and begin to slowly massage me. I pressed myself against her even more and put my hand under her shirt to find the silky material of her bra. When I did, I slipped my hand up under it to run my fingers over her soft skin. I then pulled myself away to look in her eyes. I could tell she didn't want to have sex, but she wanted to be with me and near me, and right then that was all that mattered.
“....and he said they were kind of together, which probably means they’re back together!” I explained to Kat about the scene he had witnessed. We were sitting in the back yard in the cool air. Apparently, Taylor and Joey were out “sorting out their relationship,” and everyone else was inside.
“That’s great! I’m so glad. Nothing seemed right when they weren’t together. Now, everything can be just fine. No problems, right?” Kat said happily.
“Yeah, until we leave,” I slipped up. I hadn’t planned on telling Kat the news just yet.
“U-Until you leave? Leave to where?” a nervous smile adorned her face.
“We’re going to Europe to do some promotion. We’re releasing the album there soon, and we have to do a few little promotional things for about a month and a half.”
“Aww....when you leaving?” Kat frowned.
“We’re not sure, but it won’t be for another few weeks. Um, it means we’ll be gone all of November and most of December.”
“But you’ll be back for Christmas, right?”
“That’s the thing. We’re not sure yet,” I paused. “It depends on if we get anymore good offers after our planned appearances.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? That’s it? Every other time, you throw a hissy fit and get all mad at me for leaving you!”
“Well, I’ve learned. You’ll be back.”
I didn't answer.
“You WILL be back, right?”
I smiled, “Of course, dorko! If I didn’t come back I’d die slowly of family overload.”
“Your family isn’t that bad, is it?”
“Not in small amounts. After about a month, the younger siblings try and see exactly how much weight they can supply to my last nerve before it breaks and Tay and Isaac just sit and watch and laugh, and then help when that doesn’t seem to be killing me yet.”
“Well, you can always call me when you need an outlet for all your pent up anger.”
“Okay, but I warn you, sometimes releasing my pent up anger tends to hurt a bit.”
“Well, you’ll be over the Atlantic ocean, so I’ll probably be safe,” she winked.
“Don’t bet on it.”
Suddenly, Isaac came in. “I need a little help, guys.”
“With what?” Kat asked.
“Well, I need some good arguments for when I talk to Mom and Dad about moving out.”
“I thought you had already done that...” she raised her eyebrows.
“Nah. Every time he tries to do it, he chickens out and asks them what time it is instead,” I laughed.
“Hey, you try telling our parents that you don't want to live with them,” Issac defended himself.
I shrugged and stood up and smiled at Isaac. “Why would I want to do that when we get free meals and board and not to mention a bunch of little blond slaves?”
“You’ll understand when you’re my age I guess.”
“It’s not like you’re thirty or something. You’re only five years older, mister.”
“Believe me, I know. Five long, long, long years.” Isaac put his hand up to smooth his hair back. “Anyway, what can my arguments be?”
“Well, I can’t tell you, Ike. I don’t want to leave. I love being here most of the time. I can’t understand why you don’t. You’re deserting your family and I really don’t think that’s cool. We got a little annoying, so you’re just going to give up trying to understand us and put up with us. Fine, Isaac, give up. See if I care.” I grabbed Kat's hand, “C’mon Kat. Let’s go see if there’s anyone worth talking to inside.”
Chapters 59 and 60
Home
EMAILS:
