Chapter 63 : Hospital Daze
Upon arriving at the hospital, we were all placed in separate rooms at the St. James Hospital. Once there, the doctors discovered the serious and complicated injuries we had sustained. Two separate helicopters were arranged to take us to Tulsa. I was partially awake at this time, and could hear the fact that there were only two people to a helicopter which meant only four survivors. I was in too much pain to cry or move or ask who was gone, but somehow I knew it was Isaac. He didn't seem to ever be conscious and they didn't work very quickly in getting him out of the car as they had the rest of us. Later I learned that Isaac had died quickly on impact, without any pain, from a broken neck. I then blacked out for awhile again. When I woke up, Taylor and I were being run from stretchers into another hospital. I felt like I was in a tunnel, everything was echoing and I didn't have the strenght to open my eyes. I heard a doctor say we were being taken to ICU (intensive care unit). I heard another helicopter in the background and prayed that Tay, Kat, Zac would stay alive. I knew that I was going to live. I remember being wheeled into this white room with opaque curtains. It wasn't like a regular hospital room. I began to think about what had happened, said a silent word to God asking him to take care of Isaac and anyone else that happened to leave me. I also prayed the baby was okay. I begged God to let the baby live. I wanted everyone to live, but I knew that there would be at least one more fatality, I could feel it. I prayed again, asking God to help all of us pull through, especially the father of my child.....if there was going to be a child. Thinking this much, at this point in time, caused me to black out again.
I awoke once more to find myself in a hostpital bed, hooked up to hundreds of machines and IV's. I blurrily glanced around the area I was in. A nurse pulled back my curtain.
"How are you feeling?" She asked. She was a thin woman, young and sweet looking.
"Like shit." I answered groggily.
"At least you can feel, many people in accidents as bad as yours are paralyzed and worse." She paused, "Do you need anything?"
"How's my baby?" I asked, semi-frantically as I remembered that it could have been killed.
"So far, we see no injuries to the child, or anything that could damage it. It was a near miss by the slice below your hips though."
"Where's my friends?" I asked, breathing a sigh of relief about the child. “Who died? I know someone died, so don’t play the ‘I’m sorry, you’re in such a fragile state that I shouldn’t be telling you’ because even though I’m laying in this hospital bed, I still have every bit of knowledge I did before, and I know when someone is pulling that kind of bullshit on me.”
"Okay, I won’t play those games if you want to know. I'm very sorry to say that The oldest child in the wreck died. Taylor Hanson is in the curtain next to you--in a coma, Zachary Hanson is in one room over and he isn't looking to good either. Kathryn Thomas is on the other side of you; she's paralyzed from the chest down." She explained heavy heartedly.
"Why is Zac in the other room?" I inquired, tears spilling over, knowing Taylor was in a coma, Kat was probably not doing well, Zac was in a completely different room, and Isaac was dead.
"He has a terrible spine injury and he probably won't make it through the night. The Hanson's parents have asked us to move Taylor in with Zac, though, so they could see them both, so Zac is going to move in here soon anyway" She said.
"How long has it been since we got here?" I figured out another question. My head was throbbing, but I knew I needed to know these things.
"Well, only four hours...Anything else?"
"Where's my mother?"
"She went downstairs to get a cup of coffee with Mrs. Hanson. She'll be back any minute."
"One more thing.......can I see Taylor, and Kat?"
"Sure." She pulled the curtain from in between me and Taylor and then the one between me and Kat. She began to walk away, but then stopped. “Oh, I almost forgot, they police found this in the car, next to Taylor. They think he had it in his pocket.” She handed me a very well wrapped box, it had survived the wreck. I wanted to see what it was quickly.
"Thank you." I breathed, feeling very sick. I looked over at Taylor first. The sight startled me. His face was swollen, almost to an unrecognizable state, he had big bruises and slices on his forehead and cheeks, his hair, which obviously hadn’t been washed or attended by the nurses yet, was matted with blood. The thing that scared me the most was that he looked dead. The sight was scarily omniscient. The only reason I knew he was living is his chest heaved slightly, up, then down. I remembered being so happy when I was laying on that chest. In sync with the up and down motion of his whispering breaths. I wished I could do it all over again; I wished I could go back and change it all. I wish we could have gotten stuck in traffic on the day we met, exactaly one year ago. If I had known it was going to turn out this way, I never would have went to Dillards. It pained me terribly to see Taylor so lifeless. "Taylor, if you can hear me, stick with me. Our baby is going to be fine--the nurse said. You have to stay and be the father Taylor, you can't leave me alone. I can't bring a child up alone. Please Taylor, please," I reached over as far as I possibly could and was able to grab his dangling hand, "don't do it for me, do it for the baby. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me. Please." I was not hysterical, but the tears that ran down my cheeks were uncontrollable and painful. It seemed cruel to even have to think of prospect of our child not having a father. “Please?”
I felt nothing.
I released his hand and opened the box. It was a little metal box that had a lock on the front of it. Engraved on the front was To: Joey and below that was Love: Taylor. I unlocked the box, opened it and found another well wrapped piece of something. As I untaped it and pulled all the stuff from around it, I saw it was the glass rose from the mall. I immediately cried and thanked God it had survived. I had lost it once, I hoped it wouldn’t happen again. I silently thanked Taylor and blew a kiss at him. At that point I looked over at Kat. She was waking up. "Kat." I half whispered, out of breath.
"J-Joey, is th-that you?" she asked wearily. The oxygen tubes up her nose made her look terrible. She was pale and sickly looking. I clasped the rose in my hand and spoke to her.
"Yeah, its me. How you holdin up?" I began to talk a little better. She was crying too, yet she had no clue as to what the world of the living was going through. I knew I couldn’t tell her.
"Where's Zac, Tay and Ike?" she asked.
"Kat...Ike's....gone," I was crying again.
“Gone? Dead? Isaac....” she whispered. “I can’t believe that...please tell me that Tay and Zac are okay, Joey. Please don’t tell me they’re not with us anymore.”
“Tay and Zac will be fine...they’re like us...in bad shape now, but I’m sure they’ll be fine.”
“I want to see them...now,” she cried. I saw her head come up and her arms move around as she tried to get up and watched helplessly as she struggled without results. “I....I can’t move....Joey, why can’t I move?!” Kat began crying hysterically. “Why can’t I move?” she sobbed. I couldn’t say anything; I just sat there crying as I watched her struggle. Soon, she lost any strength and settled down, slowly repeating “Why can’t I move?”
“Kat?” I whipsered. I knew that soon a doctor would come in and explain everything to her, but I also knew she wanted to know right then.
“Why can’t I move, Joey?” she sniffed.
“Kat, you had a spinal injury-”
“And now I’m paralyzed....” she finished for me. I simply nodded. “Where does it start?”
“Your chest. You’ll be able to move your arms, but you won’t have full control over your fingers.”
“Paralyzed, huh? What a life this will be. At least I still have Zac,” I heard her whisper as she slowly drifted back out of consciousness, her will to stay awake gone.
"Joey, please wake up, you're sisters and brothers want to see you." I recognized my mother's voice.
"Mom?"
"Oh honey, are you okay?" She asked.
“Yeah, Mom, I’m fine,” I assured her.
“How’s the baby?” she asked quietly.
“Oh, Mom....” I realized that she’d probably been told by the doctors. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you...I’m so sorry.” I began to cry again just like the past day.
“It’s okay, we’ll talk about it later, honey.”
She began to ask me a bunch more questions and I answered each as best I could. I also got to visit with my little brothers and sisters. My mom then shared information with me. She carefully and quietly told me that Zac had past away in the night as the doctors had predicted. The first thing I asked was if Kat knew. Mom said she didn't think so, which I was glad of, because I knew the only reason Kat was wanting to live was because she had Zac. Later, after my parents took the little ones home, I was lying awake when a couple of nurses went through, talking kind of loudly about our accident.
“It was a horrible accident. Seeing the car made me realize exacltly how lucky these three are. I’m glad it wasn’t my own children. Their parents are going to have a lot to deal with,” a line-backer looking nurse remarked.
“Yeah. Especially the one set. It’s so awful that the oldest and the little one had to die to. I mean, I saw them on TV once when my little girl was watching, and he seemed to have the cutest little attitude about him. People are really going to miss him,” the shorter nurse agreed. I jerked my head suddenly and looked at Kat who’s eyes were wide open and now tearing up. What a way to learn of the death of someone you loved.
Once the nurses left, I looked at her again.
“Kat?” I said in her direction. “Kat, it’s-”
“Please not now. I don’t want to talk about it right now,” I heard her raspy answer come back. I watched as she closed her eyes slowly and fell back into sleep again.
Chapter 64 : Kat
Late that night, I knew I needed to talk to Kat about what had happened.
"Kat, Kat." I whispered in her direction.
"Yes?" She looked over at me. Now she was on a respirator as well. It was ghastly. A tube went into her neck, leaving her mouth open so she could communicate.
"Kat, don’t you want to talk about it?"
“I don’t know how I’m going to live without him, Joey,” Kat's voice trembled, but no tears came.
"Kat, I'm so sorry. We both lost a good friend." No tears appeared for me either.
"I have no reason to live now Joey, mom is taking care of herself, and Bill is helping her, and dad doesn't care enough to come see his dying daughter, now Zac's gone and I find myself paralyzed from the chest down. All I can move are my arms, which I can’t even control fully, and my neck. I can't live like this. Joey, I’m going to take my own life. I’m going to take out my respirator, but I may not get it out all the way. If I don’t, would you please help me? I need this, Joey. I can’t stay in a world where I don’t have anything. I want to go to a place where I can be happy and with Zac.” By the tone of her voice, I could hear that she was serious. I didn't want to help her with her wish.
"Kat, I can't do that to you, that's murder. I can't murder my best friend,” I could understand her pain, but I didn't know why she was putting me in this position. I could let her suffer, or kill her. “I can't do that Kat." I quietly repeated.
"Since I'm asking you to do it, it's not murder, its carrying out my death wish. Please Joey, it would mean so much to me." She was now crying; the works--tears, sniffing, sobs, everything.
"Kat, please, don't put me in this position, I want you to live out your life. Please."
"Joey, being paralyzed from the chest down means I'll have no life anyway, and plus I was the driver in the car that has killed two Hansons. I'll be killed by some crazy fan in the next few months anyway, and my mom will have to pay so much money, and there will be a court case and everything. I can't deal with that Joey, just help me, put me out of my misery before it gets too bad. Not to mention that I’ve killed all my friends off." The way she explained it, for some reason, I understood what she meant now. Her life was over either way, it might is well send her to a nicer place.
"Kat, Taylor and I still here.” I was now practically begging for her to stay.
“I killed Isaac and Zac, the one I loved and that actually loved me, we had a fight before that and I was so mean to him, I’m glad I got to say sorry, but that’s just not enough. I killed him. If I had just paid attention...” she trailed off for a second, “so, please just do this for me Joey, please.”
“I’m not going to do it. I’m not." I was now crying tears as well.
“Kat, please don’t. Please....Kat,” I was sobbing. It never occurred to me to press the call button for a nurse or to scream. I watched as she slowly put both her hands on the respirator tube, and grasped it between them. Not being able to move her fingers, it seemed difficult. Suddenly, she paused and I thought she had changed her mind.
"Wait, tell Taylor I love him if he wakes up, and that I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you and him all those times.And thank him for all he’s done. Tell Diana and Walker that I’m sorry for betraying their trust in me and Zac. I have always loved them and their entire family like they were my own. Hell, they practically were, with as much time as I spent with them. And Joey, tell my mom and Bill and K.J. that I love them. And tell your family I love them and I will miss them as well. And Joey, I love you, I'll miss you and I will wait for you." she sobbed.
"Kat, don’t go, don’t leave me! Don’t! Kat...." I watched as she pulled out the tube cleanly. I watched as her chest stopped its repetitive rise and fall and rested for the first time in 16 long years. I knew that the nurses would detect a pop-off and would come as soon as they could, but I knew it wouldn’t be soon enough.
Crying silent tears of mourning, I went into a deep sleep, praying to God to take care of Kat, and praying that I had done all I could. I asked him for His forgiveness if it wasn’t enough and prayed that he would forgive my actions. I ended up missing them wheeling Kat out of the room. It was down to me and Taylor--the unconscious soul. Early the next morning when I woke, my mom told me about Kat and I pretended I didn't know so I could cry and be comforted for a little while. I needed it. Then, I slept again.
**Authors Note: Okay, we’re not aware whether this could be true or not in a very developed hospital, but this is the way we chose to do it. If anyone has had experience in hospitals and knows a better or more realistic way, please email us. For now, (and if no one emails us--forever) the story will be like this.**
"Joey, honey, I thought you might want to read Kat’s obituary, since you wrote part of it." She handed me the Tulsa World newspaper.
Kathryn Samantha Thomas, age 16,
died at 2:46 a.m. on Monday
Morning at Oklahoma City Memorial
Hospital. She died of complications
from a tragic car accident which
had injured four others. Known as
Kat to her friends, she was a very
special person. She looked after
everyone with the sweetest affection
you could find in someone. She was a
daughter, a grandaughter,a companion
and a soulmate. Her life brought
happiness to so many. Her death
brings saddness to more. She gave her
all to her life, and we hope that it will
pay off in her death. We miss her
and hope that she is sincerely resting
in peace. We love you, Kat.
Chapters 65 and 66
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