01-06-02
But it doesn't matter anymore.
Maybe I don't see it as fair or right, but whatever past mistakes, lessons--were made, make life what it is now.
So I feel no regrets, wish no harm. In fact, I give you all of my blessings. I wish you well, happiness, love and contentment. I wish that to all of you. I feel no foul.
The winner is no longer the one who laughs in the end. It is the one who smiles.
It's you who decides who recieves that love.
12-9-01
Yesterday was the 8th. Happy anniversary to me.
You see this? See me? See what I am?
Dammit. I'll get that way or die. I'll die trying.
Thank you for tossing me away.
10-26-01
And see, I think I've thought a million times about everything that happened...
And that I knew it all...
And then I get this ball thrown at me, swift and sudden. I'm taken aback, I duck, I plea...
I was in love
But not everyone is.
You can get all the hugs and smiles in the world thrown your way, but a single word will shatter your whole comfort. You can't accept love, and I can't accept you. Goodbye.
I'm so very happy how I am. I continue to be this way. Very little can change this. Sweetness.
So far I keep smiling.
I have no one person to share this love with, so it goes to everyone. I am who I am now because of what has happened before. I regret absolutely nothing. Yet, I still love you.
Don't look at me that way anymore. I won't have this anymore. I'll be like her. Just like her. You can't see me as beautiful anymore. Fuck you.
But I was always there, I was loyal, and I was loving. I am a beautiful and deliciously wonderful person. That can never be taken away from me.
No matter how many times I'm cheated on, how many times he fucks another girl while we were in love.
But I was never loved. Not by him. And that's okay. I'm not alone as long as I have myself. I didn't cheat anyone out of anything. I am very very loveable.
Until they change
And they never, ever will.
