Cumpleet Redneck Cumputer Meenins
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- MOUSE: fuzzy white thing wut eats the horses grain in the barn and ya
can stuff in your beer bottle to get a free
case
- UPGRADE: skule term fur permoshun as upgrade to secund after jus two
yeers in furst 2. when teechur changes F ta D
- BROWSER: fella reedin PLAYBOY in the drug store
- SERVER: gal in resterant that brings yur food
- WEBSITE: ware spiders catch flies
- CACHE: needed when ya run out of food stamps
- PRINTER: someone who can't rite in handritin
- FONT: discover as in "I font it at a garage sale"
- PROGRAM: wuts on the TV when there's receptshun
- PROGRAMMER: fella with the TV remote
- MODEM : whacha do to the grass twice a yeer
- ADOBE PHOTOSHOP: red bilding ware you git yur pictur took
- PLUG-IN: push the end ot the TV cord into the wall
- RAM: that thar thing whut splits the farwood. 2. the lambs daddy
- ROM: good to mix with Coca Cola. 2. the Pope's home. 3. a place in
the house like a bedrom
- FLOPPY: when you run outa Polygrip
- ICON : braggin as in "icon lift yur truk with one arm"
- CD ROM : place in the bank ware they sell retirement accounts
- SPAM: meat for special occashuns
- HARD DRIVE : gettin home in the mud season with a flat tire
- INSTALL: ware ya keep your horse
- REBOOT: wucha do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff
- CURSOR : wucha do when yur mad at yur wife
- BIT; a wager as in "I bit ya can't spit that chawin tibacco across the
road"
- FIREWALL: ware ya practises yur target shutin
- HACKER : granpa after 62 years of smokin
- TERMINAL: about time to call the undertaker
- MAIN FRAME: wut holds up the barn roof
- SOFTWARE: them plastic eatin utensils
- BUG: thing on phone to check yur wife's calls
- DIGITAL CONTROL: wut yur fingers do on the TV remote
- SUPERCONDUCTORS: Glenn Miller, Doc Severnsen, Lawrence Welk
- EDIT: wucha do with food
- LAPTOP: ware the littl kids feel comfy
- PORT: fancy wine
- PRINTOUT; wen ya uz a eracer or whiteout
- FORMAT: small rug to wipe your feet on wen ya go in a house
- CODE: wen yu g0tta snooty nose and cof
- VIRUS: same as a code
- RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: when ya cain't 'member wut ya paid fer yer
rifle when yer wife asks
- PROMPT : wucha wish the mail was in mud season
- FAX : wucha lie about to the IRS
- BACKUP: takin the truk outa the barn
- BYTE : wut them dang flys do. 2. first word in a kiss-off phrase
- MEGABYTE: wucha git from Meg durin luvmakin
- SCREEN : thing to keep the flies out
- CHIP : munchies fer the TV
- MICROCHIP: wuts left in the munchie bag when the chips are gone
- RELOAD: fill the frig with 6-pacs and chips
- HOMEPAGE: place in the newspaper with houses for sale
- TEXT: dude from Dallas
- DISKETTE: female disco dancer
- SCANNER : watchin a female disco dancer
- INFRARED: ware the leftovers go when Fred's here
- LASER PRINTER : two tired ta rite yur ma
- ENTER : notherner talk fer, "C'mon in y'all"
- KEYBOARD: ware ya hang yur truk keys
- MANUAL: truk without automatic geers
- ZIP DRIVE: goin fast in yur hotrod
- NEWSGROUP: wives gossippin
- DOMAIN: most importint as "he's domain boss"
- ALIAS: name ya use at a motel
- DIGITAL: those numbers that flip on your alarm clock 2. a questshun
as "digital hur ta bring the beer"
- PACKET: wucha do to a suitcase before a trip
- ITALIC: furriner from Roam
- CLIPBOARD: place you keep yur ammo
- VERSION : wucha dislike as in "he has a version to broccoli "
- LOG ON :making a wood stove hotter
- LOG OFF : don't add no mo' wood
- MONITOR : keppin an eye on the woodstove
- DOWNLOAD : gettin the farwood off the truk
- MEGAHERTZ: when yer not keerful gettin the farwood
- FLOPPY DISK: wucha git from carrin too much farwood
- DISC OPERATING SYSTEM: wut the doc uses fur your floppy disc
- NETWORK : way to get bait for yur trout line
- INTERNET: wut the bait duz wen ya catch it
- WINDOW: place in a truk to hang your guns
- WINDOWS : wucha shut when its 30 below
- LAN : to borrow as in "Hey Bert, lan me yur truk" 2. the grass in
fronta yur house
- SUPPORT: whut suspenders duz 2. to drink fancy wine slowly
- CRASH : yur truk hits a tree. 2. when you go to Junior's party
uninvited
- RAID: wen the cops crash yur pot party
- FRAME: wen the cops bring ther own pot to the party
- DOT MATRIX: old Dan Matrix's wife
- E-MAIL: not a pansy
- APPLICATION: put salve on yur skin
- STATIONARY: not movin
- UNZIP: open yur pants
- JOYSTICK: wat you open yur pants fur
- JAVA: coffee
- 489 : one of them fancy furrin cars
- WORM : wacha put on a fish hook
- IBM: anser wen teechur calls yur name
- MAC : yur kids favorite food
- APPLE: needed for pan dowdy and pies
- APPLET: a small apple
- VECTOR: winner of the fite
- FILE: wut yur wife uses on her nails
- PASSWORD: " fore" used wen playin golf
- INTERACTIVE: run into the house
Cotten-Eye Joe
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FRIENDS
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