There was this really old guy at an old timers dance, and the problem was that he hadn't had any sex for a real long time. He'd been dancing with all the grandma's all night, but still hadn't scored.

Frustrated, he approached an old grandma and said, I'm having no luck scoring with a woman here tonight,How about coming back to my place for some real old fashioned sex.? I'll even give you twenty bucks! She says, I'm willing let's go.
They get back to his place and after a bit of foreplay, they head for the bedroom. He loves sex and can't get over how tight she is for such an old woman. He thinks that she's got to be a virgin. After the wonderful performance, he rolls off her and says, "WOW Lady,if I had known your were a virgin, I would have given you 50 bucks.
Surprised, she says "If I had known you were actually gonna get and erection, I would have taken my panty hose off!