This is part of an article my sister sent me from the Wall Street Journal.
I really got a kick out these and hope you will get a chuckle out of them as well.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because
of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust
cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq tech received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word
processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to
diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer had labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into
the typewriter to type the labels.
4. A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door.
The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and
crossing the room to close the door to his room.
5. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes
of trouble-shooting the tech discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had
cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then
removing all the keys and washing them individually.
7. A Dell tech received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him
he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and
"invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
8. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the tech that the
computer had said it "couldn't find printer". The user had also tried turning the computer
screen to face the printer - but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
9. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty peroid. How do I go about
getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part
of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have a trademark
on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just
has '4X' on it." At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. He was
laughing so hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup
holder, and snapped it off the drive!
10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer
to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the tech asked her what happened when
she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and
nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand - new computer wouldn't
work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for
something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she
asked "What power switch?"
12. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days
later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.
13. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in
the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with
the disk. When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't
realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
14. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software.
The instructions said to remove the disk from it's cover and insert into the drive. The user
had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
I remember a few years ago when I started learning how to operate
this computer.....I'm suprised I'm not in that article somewhere.....*LOL*
