Rocky's Eulogy

Good afternoon, everyone. I am Jim O’Bryan and I am here with my wife, Carmen. We are friend’s of Rocky’s from Dallas, and, like you, we have come to honor the memory of the kind and caring human being and the totally unique character that we all knew and loved as Rocky. I know that he would be very proud to see us all here together today, just for him. I know he wanted us to come and see his new house, and I wish that is why we were here now.

At services like these, it is common to hear the deceased referred to in terms of their relationships with their friends and family members, like, “James Rockwell Jackson, loving son, devoted brother, faithful friend.” Well, somehow Rocky was all those things to me and Carmen. He touched our lives in ways no one else ever could and we don't know what we'll do without him, knowing that he will never ring our doorbell again, or call and leave one of those funny messages.

Our answering machine just says, “State your name and number”, so Rocky would leave messages like, “My name, Jose Jimenez, and my number, it is seven."” He was so silly sometimes, and always so much fun to be around. He would call and say, "“Can Carmen and Jim come out to play?" and sometimes, “May I speak to the most beautiful woman in the world?” I bet some of you have heard that one before. I could relate last night when Jim Kling was speaking and quoted Rocky calling him Jim Bob. Of course, I was a Jim Bob, too, you know.

Carmen and I met Rocky a little over twenty years ago. He was tending bar in Dallas and had just served us a beer. I took a big swig and then involuntarily coughed and sprayed a mouthful of beer right into Rocky’s face. I was certain he was going to climb over the bar and pound me, but he didn’t. He just laughed real loud, wiped his face with a bar towel, and with a huge, friendly smile, reached across the bar to shake my hand. And, then, he bought us our next round. And we have been close friends ever since.

We soon learned that Rocky never met a stranger. He treated everyone like he had known them all his life. He was loud and boisterous, funny and friendly, and every room became more lively and a lot more fun the moment that Rocky walked in.

In Dallas, Rocky was a bartender, a club owner, a concert promoter, a stagehand, a sound technician… anything he could do to be close to the music. He worked for ShowCo, one of the largest concert production companies in the country. At times, it seemed like he knew everyone, everywhere, at least in Rock ‘N Roll circles. We would go to clubs and concerts with him, and we would be treated like celebrities, just because we were friends of Rocky’s. I know he got us in to at least a hundred concerts, usually with backstage passes and everything. He would take us all around the place and introduce us to everyone, and sometimes offer us the band’s food and stuff when they were onstage.

For some reason, Rocky put me and Carmen up on a pedestal, and in his eyes we could do no wrong, even when we did. He made us feel special, and it felt really good. We shared our innermost secrets, and we knew all about his insecurities, his regrets and his disappointments… and his wishes for the well-being of all his loved ones. We supported and encouraged him and he supported and encouraged us. He had so much love in his heart, I think he was always in search of someone new to bestow it upon. He is the only person I have ever known who somehow managed to remain friends with all his ex-girlfriends, and not just with them, but with their new husbands or boyfriends, too. He is the only friend I ever had that told me he loved me whenever he said goodbye, and the only one that I could ever say that to.

There was something mystical and magical about Rocky, that I can’t explain, but I know that he lived in an enchanted world, and it was wonderful and awe inspiring to be a part of it. I know that many of you have probably witnessed one of Rocky’s minor miracles, but let me tell you about a couple that Carmen and I will never forget.

A few years ago, during one of Rocky’s visits to Dallas, we went out for dinner on Carmen’s birthday to Morton’s, a fancy, expensive steak house. We had a fine meal and a great time, and afterwards we went down to the Bar of Soap, our old hangout. We parked, and as we walked toward the bar I said, “Man, I have something stuck between my teeth, and I’d give anything for some dental floss.” Instantly, Rocky said, very casually, as if it happened every day, “Well, here’s some.” He was pointing down to a brand new container of dental floss, still in it’s plastic shrink wrap, on its cardboard backing, lying right in front of him in the parking lot. That is an absolutely true story, and I know that it was Rocky’s magical powers at work. I’ll never get over it. We were awe struck, but Rocky didn’t act like it was anything out of the ordinary.

Then last Friday, the day that he passed away, the oddest thing happened. Robert had called to give us the terrible news, and as they spoke, Carmen wrote a note that just said, “Rocky died” and then it listed all Robert’s phone numbers. That night, Carmen and I left the house for about 20 minutes, and when we returned, we couldn’t believe our eyes. We had a vase of flowers on the counter, and the stem of one of the flowers, the biggest, prettiest one, was broken right in the middle, so the top half was bent directly over the tragic note. And every one of the soft, maroon flower petals had fallen off to completely blanket the tragic note in their beauty and fragrance. Carmen said, “Look, Rocky was here” and we burst into tears. I said, “Yeah, he almost always broke something when he came” and we laughed out loud, through our tears. He was, sometimes, a little bit accident prone, you might say.

But the last few years, as he approached his 50th birthday, Rocky performed a miracle that most people thought they would never see happen. He became what society perceives as a responsible adult. Now, Rocky was never, ever going to transform into a middle aged, middle class yuppie geek, like I did. Rocky remained true to himself, always. But lately, he has been driving completely legal… license, tags, inspection sticker, insurance and everything. He had become a successful businessman, and a proud homeowner.

Rocky, we are so very proud of you.
We always knew you could do it.

I know Rocky’s recent accomplishments are a credit to his wonderful brother, Robert. I don’t think he ever could or would have put down roots and settled down, if it weren’t for the love, support, encouragement and opportunities offered to him by his generous and loving brother, Robert.

I remember the first time I ever spoke with Robert. Rocky was in transit, on his way moving back to Alabama that last time. Robert was worried about him, and called our house to see what time Rocky had left. I remember that Robert said, “I want to thank you and Carmen for taking care of my little brother for me. I surely do appreciate it.” At that moment, I suddenly realized that, even during all that time Rocky was in Dallas, and mostly out of touch, Robert still felt responsible for his well-being. I have felt a bond with Robert ever since that moment.

Robert, you are Rocky’s guardian angel.
And the example you set for him was his inspiration. Of course you know how much Rocky loved you, but you may not understand just how much he admired you.

When we arrived here for visitation last night, I wasn’t expecting such a large turn out. We weren’t the least bit surprised, though. Rocky was so friendly and outgoing, and he had a way of making everyone he knew feel like they were special to him. Because they were.

He cherished all those moments when he made us all laugh and feel good about ourselves. Bessemer couldn’t hold all the people whose lives were touched in a positive way by our dear friend, Rocky, and whose hearts are here with him today.

Rocky, we are going to miss you terribly, but you made your mark.

Thank you for being our loyal friend.

We will love and remember you always.

December 12, 2002
Bessemer, Alabama

Rocky's Memorial