i’ve been thinking
that maybe I need to be saved
maybe what I need
is something to believe in
something to bring some
spiritual meaning to my life
i’ve never felt the need before
but I feel faith coming forth
in search of a suitable
set of superstitions
I seek relief
from the chaotic
helter skelter logic
the labor of free thinking
order and reason
into existence
a chance to overcome
the devastation of failing
to live up to my own
self inflicted standards
i’m ready to cleanse myself
of my evil thoughts
of my sins
of my hatred
of my shame
of my guilt
I know there’s a savior for me
out there somewhere
a supreme being
who has a plan for me
in whose eyes
it matters what I do
it matters what I believe
and if it matters
I will believe
give me the holy doctrines
i’ll commit them to memory
i’ll quote you passages
that support my position
i’ll never be at a loss
to explain myself again
i’ll have all the answers
and no more questions
no more questions
i’ll be at liberty to disapprove
and be self righteous
but ever so humble
in the spiritual satisfaction
rewarded the faithful
a blessing
shared only by those
who believe exactly as I do
grateful to no longer be among
the teaming masses
sadly worshipping their false gods
and professing their pagan superstitions
but the greatest of all rewards
eternal life
eternal life will be mine
and the significance of my being
multiplied exponentially
into infinity
the deadly boundaries of time
lifted by the hand of my lord
and my faith in him
will be as strong
as my fear
of meaningless life
unresolved in death
once was
jan 24, ‘88
© 1988
