Okay, this movie was on the new release shelf at Family Video (the only video store in town that rents porn). Dave didn't know it was supposed to be pornographic (or so he claims), but it was interesting enough to review nonetheless. I'll bypass the naughty bits as much as I can.
It's obviously a parody of The Blair Witch Project (which I refuse to see again because it was so awful). Four sorority sisters (whose ages range from early 20's to late 30's) are out to find information on the Bare Wench. There's a guy with them too, but he doesn't do anything. Anyway, the girls bounce around and act stupid, frequently taking breaks to get undressed. Now, I'm not one for outdoor expeditions, but I've been on a few in my life, and we never ever stopped to take our clothes off. In fact, that's the last thing anyone wanted to do. Throughout the night they hear strange noises which are made by a donkey. So, they go around, looking for this person, and they find a cave. The guy goes into the cave and never returns. It's late, so the girls get into their tent and they hear the donkey again. One of them, in her grand wisdom, points out that they only hear the donkey noises when they're dressed, so the best thing to do is, well, you get the idea. Little do they know that correlation does not imply causation. But it works nonetheless.
So, they find their way out of the woods and back to their motel. We know this because one of them yells, and I swear I'm not making this up, "Holy frijole! It's our motel!" So they go inside, and I guess it's really creepy because they have their flashlights on and they keep saying things like, "this is creepy" and "I'm scared." They go into their room, and the guy is in the corner playing hopscotch.
So, as a premise, we have five (later four) people out in the woods, and all the footage is stuff they filmed and is unedited. At the beginning, there's a big fight because someone lost the tripod. How is it, then, that at several points in the film, there's background music? And why are there sometimes five (later four) people on screen at a time? The end of the movie contains a bunch of outtakes from the same scene.
And it was still better than Blair Witch