I so need to get this movie. It's a classic. It's just like an old Batman episode, only darker, and the main character's a woman. A very whorish woman.
The movie starts off in 1975, only it's not the real 1975, but an alternate one where everyone dresses and acts like it's 1995. It starts off with a cop telling his little girl the old fable about the scorpion and the frog. Then, there's a seemingly pointless sequence in which the cop chases down two car thieves and shoots them in a hospital, accidentally killing a doctor. Meanwhile the cop's daughter is listening in on the police band. Surprisingly, all this is significant.
So, now it's something like 18 years later, and the little girl is an undercover cop pretending to be a hooker. Her name is Darcy, I think. She's investigating a pimp who may be responsible for a few murders. Everything's going ok until her partner blows her cover. She's upset about the ordeal, and she goes for a drink with her dad, the cop from the beginning. It's her birthday, and things are sucking. Then, without warning, the DA comes into the bar and guns down the dad. Well, the DA is arrested, but he doesn't remember any of it, and Darcy threatens him with her gun, so she gets suspended. Meanwhile, there's a Darth Vader wannabe who calls himself the Breathtaker, and he's making evil plans.
Darcy goes home to pout, and she suddenly rmembers the little package her dad gave her. She opens it and finds a gaudy scorpion ring. Remember the scene in Batman Returns when Michell Pfeifer turns into Catwoman? This is pretty much the same thing, only this time, it's the Black Scorpion. She goes out to fight crime, and she ends up killing the pimp and beating up some other bad guys. Eventually, she runs into her old partner who must be incredibly stupid, because he doesn't recognize her. She kisses him and escapes, but her car door gets shot up in the process.
Fortunately, Darcy knows a guy who runs a chop shop. This guy is played by none other than Garrett Morris. Who's Garrett Morris? He was the original Token Black Guy on Saturday Night Live. He has his guys fix up the car and add a few personal touches, giving the car the ability to morph into a completely different-looking car. Darcy has dinner with her former partner and comes onto him, but he's in love with someone else, so she puts on her Black Scorpion outfit and pays him a visit. They have steamy, erotic, anonymous superhero sex, and she zaps him with her scorpion ring (which she had hooked up to a stun gun earlier).
At about this time, the Breathtaker makes his move. He says he's going to poison the entire city, but he's handing out free gas masks, so come on down and pick yours up today. Well, the Black Scorpion is onto him, and she figures out that he's really going to poison the people with his gas masks so that he can control them. The chop shop guy does a little research on the Scorpionmobile's computer and discovers who the Breathtaker is. Yep, it's the doctor from the seemingly pointless opening sequence.
A bunch of stuff happens, and there's a bit of fighting. The partner finds out the Black Scorpion's true identity, and the Black Scorpion kills the Breathtaker. The end.
This movie is as bad as it sounds, but it has that campy charm that can be found in the old Batman TV show. I plan on seeing the sequel soon.