The Island of Dr. Moreau

For the record, this is a review of the 1977 version of the movie. I can't imagine the critically panned Marlon Brando/Val Kilmer epic to be much better, despite having Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer. Quite frankly, the story just sucks.

You have this guy, Michael York (whose autograph is sitting in my desk) and his buddy stranded in a little boat in the middle of nowhere. They land on a big island that they didn't notice until it was about 20 feet away from them. Almost immediately, the buddy gets killed. Michael York, on the other hand, finds a strange compound populated by mysterious people and a hot chick. He'll be screwing her later.

We meet Dr. Moreau and his evil henchman, Tommy, and we quickly learn what evil things are taking place on this horrific island of terror, as Tommy is beating up what seems to be a miniature version of Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. It turns out this Dr. Moreau is a pioneer (meaning mad scientist) in the field of genetic tampering, and he's trying to make animals human so he can, um, er, have human-shaped animals that will be fully human, but not human enough or something. They never really address the issue. I think it's supposed to be a commentary on the horrible future of scientific study or something. It's based on an old H.G. Wells book which, I assume, is oodles better than the movie, although I haven't read it.

In any event, Michael York escapes with Hot Chick, and the island burns down.

Lame movie.