Lara Croft: Tomb Raider


Guest Review by Ferndoc

Teresa once made a comment to the effect that Mission Impossible:2 was basically a Tom Cruise's 2-hour homage to himself. The big difference between that and Tomb Raider (Or if you really want the full title, Lara Croft Tomb Raider) is that instead of being a giant tribute to the lead actor (In this case Angelina Jolie), it is a giant tribute to the main character, Lara Croft. She runs, jumps, shoots, blows stuff up, does amazing gymnastic manouvres, drives fast cars (and motorbikes), is smart, athletic, and attractive - basically your typical teenage male fantasy. The plot serves 2 purposes:
1) Provide an excuse for the movie
and
2) Talk about how great Lara Croft is. Honestly, that's all you really need to know about it (which is surprising given how convoluted it gets). The basic idea is that there is a magical metal triangle that has been split in two and hidden on opposite ends of the Earth. The pieces can only be found when all nine planets reach full alignment and a solar eclipse occurs every 5,000 years. (Watch where you step; you might fall in a plot hole) Anyway, if someone gets these pieces put together, he/she gets power over time and basically becomes a virtual deity. Well, Lara Croft's father (Played by Jon Voight) disappeared and is presumed dead looking for this triangle, which, as it turns out, a group called the Illuminati also wants. Long story short: Lara needs to get the triangle before they do. Between the Swiss Cheese plot and the over glorification of the main character, you'd think this movie would be a waste of whatever money you spend on it.
You'd think.
It does have a few graces, however, that not only make it watchable but actually entertaining and (dare I say it) fun. First of all, Angelina Jolie, who could very easily decide to make this an ode to herself, opts for a slightly more Raul Julia in Street Fighter path: She acknowledges the absurdity of her role, and not only hams it up accordingly, but actually seems to have fun with it as well. Instead of coming off as someone who thinks she's the best thing to happen to Hollywood since explosions and breasts, she comes off as someone who's trying to enjoy all this running and shooting, and as a result, Lara Croft does not come off as some ridiculously amazingly invincible hero but rather, the main character of a video game (which is what she is). Also, the action sequences themselves are also rather entertaining. Instead of shootouts where everyone except the hero misses their targets, every bullet (just about) makes contact, they just happen to hit either something that a) exists for the purpose of getting shot or b) can take more bullets than even Charlton Heston is willing to fire. In other words, it's pretty video game-ish. Set that all to a techno/dance/industrial soundtrack that's pretty good (U2 and NIN, among others), and while your mind won't be stimulated, your perceptions will. Of course, that wasn't the best part for me (well, ok the U2/NIN thing was, but...). Nope.

The guy who plays Arnold Rimmer on Red Dwarf is in it.

Kid you not. If that's not a reason to go see it, I don't know what is.

Overall: Not a particularly great movie, but it is a fun way to spend an afternoon.