Militia

There's a recipe for success. Funny how I don't recall this one ever being in the theater. It came out in 1999, a year in which I saw many movies. At any rate, Trent insisted I rent it, so I did.

The movie starts out with a really crappy opening sequence involving a couple bad guys stealing anthrax from the Cyberdyne facility. Why a place called Cyberdyne (as in Terminator 2) would be keeping anthrax lying around is beyond me. Fortunately for us, the audience, we learn at the beginning of the film that they had no special effects budget whatsoever. This is made evident from the fact that the entire opening sequence is taken directly from T2. I swear I'm not making this up. I wish I was. Remember the big shootout in the Cyberdyne facility, where Ahnold shoots up police cars with a minigun? It's exactly the same. Not a remake, not a copy, but the exact same footage. I can't stress this enough. The single coolest sequence these people could come up with was taken directly from another movie. The only difference is that all the recognizable characters from T2 have been edited out.

The movie goes downhill after that.

There's this guy who's the leader of some freedom militia that's running guns. Naturally, the ATF, starring Dean Cain goes in to stop them. The leader is taken prisoner, and the compound is destroyed. This part was probably from another movie I haven't seen. Anyway, a few years pass, and the ATF wants Dean Cain to infiltrate the new, reborn militia, which should be pretty easy, especially since everyone in th militia worships the guy Dean Cain shot and took prisoner. So, the militia guy is set free, and he and Dean Cain go to infiltrate the militia, with Jennifer Beals watching their backs. Oh, I should also mention that Dean Cain has this really neat ability. He can read what people are typing by watching their hands. This is found out early on in the film, giving us plenty of time to forget it until it comes up later, so we can say, "Wow! I forgot he could do that. He just saved the day with his neat special ability." At least, that's what they writer(s) were planning. In reality, the reaction was, "Wow. That's definitely gonna come into play at a crucial moment."

Where was I... oh yeah. So, at first, Dean Cain doesn't trust the militia man. Why should he? Well, according to militia man, the ATF implanted an electronic tracking device in his hand, and anyway, the militia's not the same, and, oh yeah, the ATF promised to let him see his family again if he cooperates. Naturally, Dean Cain trusts him, which is stupid because he's quickly taken prisoner by the militia, which is led by Stacy Keach. Stacy Keach has a paranoid conspiracy theory radio show, and he's just evil. The milita's neferious plot is to put the stolen anthrax into stolen missile warheads (which belong to a retired military officer with a Screen Actors' Guild membership), and detonate them somewhere in California. Dean Cain pays attention to the guy with the keyboard so he can learn the launch code.

Needless to say, militia man realizes the error of his ways and joins the ATF, and Dean Cain escapes. Someone kills Stacy Keach, and Dean Cain aborts the launch at the last possible moment. The end.

Looking for a great action movie? Rent T2.

Looking for Dean Cain and Stacy Keach? Rent Militia.