4-15-2
Jason Lee has awakened me to the miracle that is Fritos.
My toe hurts.
George "W" Bush is a bigidiot.
It's damn hot. Not just hot, damn hot. I don't think you appreciate the severity of the hotness.
So, I got a satchel or "man-purse" asCthulu has insisted on calling it. Jenny's gonna make me a new strap for it. She's almost done.
I burned a CD at Dave's the other day. I like his burning software. It's pretty sweet.
4-11-2
So, I've got this sore throat, and it's bugging the piss out of me.
I also have an appointment with the oral surgeon today. Fun.
OMG OMG OMG! Ok, background story. As you probably know, I've been an avid Star Wars fan since I was a wee boy, and I always bought the action figures and stuff. There was one figure that I always wanted to buy, Ree Yees, but I always opted for someone else, like Logray or Lando or someone else. Still, I always thought that Ree Yees was the quintessential Jedi figure. There was just something about him that just said Jedi. I can't really explain it, but I always wanted to have one. I secretly pined for this figure for years. Even before I knew of the Blue Snaggletooth, the vinyl cape Jawa, or the vintage A-Wing, Ree Yees was it. Guess what I got at Casey's yesterday.
I am complete. I am content.
I have a Greman quiz today. Wish me luck. I hope I do good.
4-8-2
Well.
I think I had an iteresting weekend. I went to Dave & Emily's on Friday night and drank. A lot. Then Amy and Emily and I (mostly I) spoke at length about my insecurities and other such issues. I got a lot of shit off my chest, I think. I feel like a took a great big emotional dump.
Don't worry, Hunny, it's all stuff you already know. I just didn't want you to endure my contant bitching about the same things all over again.
Basically, what I said, not counting the digressions about action figures and kitties and other such things, consisted of this:
I can see you're just waiting with baited breath.
I find it utterly inconceivable that anyone would actually like me and want to be my friend. Instead, I feel like I'm tolerated, endured, pitied, and used for other people's sick amusement.
Yes, I'm onto all of you. You can't keep this charade up forever.
I need to feel loved.
I was playing Sims on Saturday, and Ross was in my line of sight when he decided to show Amy his ass. I caught the front side. I am scarred for life.
So, Meow Mix is finally online!
You should check it out.
4-5-2
I have to pee.
That's better.
Where was I?
I don't know why I'm reambling. I don't have anything to ramble about.
Although I do think that the whole situation in the Middle East sucks the hard one, but I also think the United States needs to stop playing World Cop. It's not our place. Ariel Sharon needs to be kissed on the forehead with a hail of bullets, and Yassar Arafat should be beaten with a brick.
Actually, I think Israel and Palestine should just be evacuated and bombed to shit so no one will want to live there. The Palestinians can move to Brazil, and the Israelis can move to Newark. That's a plan.
But it'll never happen.
Big Trouble comes out today. I wanna see it.
Evidently, I'm gonna see Garbage again, this time for a whole concert.
I hae too many teeth. Some of them need to go.
I need to reoranize the videos.
Does anyone else feel like a fogey when they buy video tapes anymore? It's kinda awkward-feeling, like when you buy an audio tape. All I can think of is the cashier thinking, "Dude, you don't have a DVD player, yet?".
Course, I don't really need a DVD player, but still.
It's the weekend, almost, and I, for one, am thrill becasue of it. I like weekends.
Rammstein kinda rocks.
I have a booger.
I need to make a linkback button for my reviews.
4-3-2
I agree with Fuffy T. Ariel Sharon is a dumbass.
I need to do my A106 homework. Procrastinating is so much easier, though.
I so can't wait for AOTC. It looks sooo good. All those naysayers don't know what they're talking about.
Come to think of it, most people don't know what they're talking about.
I am getting sick. I hope it's just a cold. Colds aren't so bad.
So, about this homework....
I can't believe the semester's almost over. I still need to take my OIT classes. I suck.
I wanna go see Garbage with George, and the tickets are cheap. I don't know if I will, though. My guess is no, if Tina has any say in the matter. She hates Garbage.
I also need to get my wisdom teeth taken out. I have one that's coming in sideways, and it still hasn't broken through the gumline yet. It's sideways and impacted. Fun. I'll be relishing that for years to come.
I've been told that sarcasm is a defense mechanism for me. I wonder if that's true.
Anywho, I guess I'd better stop putting off my damn homework.
3-27-2
How exactly does one frig?
Sittin' in the libary, eatin' Texas Grill Fritos, drinkin' Cherry Coke. My life is just so poetic.
So, Fuffy T interviewed the TV geek. That was special.
Gary Glitter is a stupid name for a rock star.
Sitting in a bunker, here behind my wall, waiting for the worms to come.
In perfect isolation, here behind my wall, waiting for the worms to come.
I hate fundamentalists.
Maybe I'll go visit a Christian chat room.
Click here, and nothing will happen.
3-25-2
They call me Sexy Randal, Pharaoh Wizard.
So, I've been thinking about my faith a lot, lately. I kind of put that on the backburner for a while, but now I think Ineed to address it, or something. The thing is I don't know what I believe. I was over at Casey's last week, and I was talking to Kelly. They're both practicing Catholics. They don't eat meat on Fridays in Lent, they go to church, and whatnot. I mentioned that I'm a lapsed Catholic. I haven't been to church in years. She asked my why, and to be honest, I couldn't come up with a better answer than I don't feel like it. I've mentioned many times that I don't really believe in the Bible, which is true. I think a lot of it is wrong. In fact, most of the amazing Bible stories have been told before in other forms of mythology. I don't want to commit myself to something that's false.
I also disagree with a lot of Christian ideals. I think a lot of things, like homosexuality and the theory of evolution, are completely acceptable. I see nothing inherantly wrong with them, and I don't believe that "because the Bible said so" is a valid argument. On the other hand, I still hold on to many of the teachings I grew up with. I guess I would call myself a Catholic, interrupted. The thing is I can't call myself Catholic, and I don't. I don't call mysellf Christian, but I believe in the possibility of Christ. But what do I actually believe is true?
There is a higher power. I know that from experience.
I think that, for the most part, humans are basically good, but easily corruptable.
I also believe it is wrong to kill anything without justification.
I think food is justification, but revenge or inconvenience is not.
I believe that words like fuck are not morally bad, just socially frowned upon.
Sex is not a horrible thing.
Penis is not a bad word.
Neither is vagina.
I think it's ok to prevent conception, but once it's occurred, there's nothing you can do about it.
Intentions are evil. Actions are not.
I think there is a God, but the one of the Bible is not really it. I think that generally, God avoids interfering unless specifically asked to. Even then, the answer is usually no.
I think that God is not something you find. God is something you realize.
I think that no one is beyond redemption.
I believe that world is pretty much as we perceive it, but that there's more going on than we could possibly know.
Where does all this put me?
I have no idea. I do think, though, that most religions out there have something right, but fundamentalism of any kind is stupid and dangerous.
I try to be a good person. I really do. Sure I fail more often than I'd like, but I mean well.
3-19-2
I haven't much time.
I like spring and all, but I hate the seasonal depression. It's so annoying, and it gets old really fast.
I slept most of yesterday. I was up maybe 5 hours tops. I was really tired. It sucks. Oh well. I feel better now.
Fuffy T updated.
I really need to get on with episode 2 of Meow Mix. I know, Episode 1 hasn't been posted yet, but it's still something I need to do. I'll probably work on it when I get home.
Tina stayed home today. I'm not entirely sure why. Oh well. I like Tina. She's my girl.
Remember that Law & Order episode with the high school girl who was raped by her boyfriend's best friend cuz her boyfriend liked to share her? That's just wrong. I'd never do that. I'm selfish.
So, the AOTC preview figs are out. I got Zam Wessel. I almost got Jango Fett, too, but I figured I'll have plenty of time to get him later on. Zam Wesell can kick your ass. I just wish I could remember how to spell her damn name.
At any rate, I'm really looking forwward to AOTC. I can't wait. Harry Knowles of AICN saw a rough cut, and he says it looks great. I get the feeling that AOTC is going to be what everyone expected TPM to be.
At least there are no Trinkies.
Heh.
Oh, here's a link to that G.I. Joe site, Cthulu. It's very thorough.
3-14-2
I love the smell of Spring. I really do. Everything seems so fresh and new.
I'm feeling a bit better. My tummy''s been neing disagreeable, which makes life suck, as a whole. I think it's my body's way of telling me to stop eating crap, already.
We had a nice little surprise the other night. Starz came in, for some reason, and we watched The Bone Collector. Good movie. I'd own it. I wish we'd been able to catch the whole thing and tape it. Oh well.
So, I finally got my pictures developed. They're mostly figures, and I posted the good ones, so you should head over and check them out.
I own Jenny's soul. She sold it for a bagel. I'm evil.
I've been trying to remember the first 10 G.I. Joe figures from 1982, the carded ones. So far, I only have 9:
1. Grunt
2. Short Fuze
3. Snake Eyes
4. Scarlett
5. Zap
6. Rock 'n' Roll
7. Breaker
8. Stalker
9. Flash
And number 10 is:
I have no idea. I should know this, too. Looks like I'll have to go check.
I know it wasn't Duke or any of the Cobras. It wasn't Steeler, Clutch, Lady Jaye, or Cover Girl. Damn it!
Looks like there were 11. The other were Cobra and Cobra Officer. How does that work? There was always an even number.
I get it. I was wrong. I forgot the Proof of Purchace.
I have no life.
But I'm fine with that.
3-11-2
I don't wanna go to class today. No good can come of it. Anyway, it's not like she takes attendance or anything. I just wanna go home, take off this uniform and leave the show.
Do you have any idea how long it's been since I saw a Kevin Smith movie?
I need to so something about my wisdom teeth. They hurt.
Strong atheism has to be the stupidest belief system out there, aside from Wicca, maybe.
And can I just say that I'm sick of people bitching about things they don't understand? It only makes you look like a big idiot.
I hate you, and I hope you die.
So I saw the trailer for AOTC last night. I don't want to wait until May, dammit.
I actually have hours next week for banquet. First time all year. I'm not really looking forward to it, but at least I know I still have a job there.
I'm just feeling like hell today. I want to go home and put on sad or angry music. Maybe a bit of both. I haven't listened to The Fragile lately.
I'm sick of it. I'm not going anywhere, and I have no real desire to. I'm not making anything of myself. I just don't care. I have nothing but contempt for the students here. I don't want to talk to anyone, especially you. I just want to go home and sleep (or open an artery). That sounds like fun.
I got the Snake-Eyes / Storm Shadow 2 pack. Neither of them look right. I repainted Snake-Eyes, and he looks much better, like the old-school Snake-Eyes. Not the very first one, but the second one. The first one that had the sword. Storm Shadow needs work.
3-8-2
So, I was thinking. I forgot about what.
Oh yeah, it was about opinions I have. I really need to do another Things That Suck page. That'd be nice.
My eyes are actin funky. Maybe it's cuz I'm tired.
So, I have to find someone for Fuffy T to "immervyoo" for Tuesday. Maybe I'll try Robert Smith of the Cure. That'd be cool.
I'll look into it. I don't know if it'll work out, though.
I find that Dave tends to be wrong about a lot of things (i.e. gun control, gays in the military, women in combat, the Vagina Monologues), and I think a lot of it is the sexual conservative mindset. I'm not say that all conservatives have is sex on the brain. Hell, a lot of people do. What I am saying is that there's a mentality that sex and sexuality play the biggest role in everything. I think we need to get beyond that. Sure, sex is nice, but there's more to life than it. But we live in a culture that is dominated by men, and, as such, is very focused on sex. Why not let women and gays fight? Because of the sex issue. You see, men are completely unable to control themselves, sexually. It's impossible. And when there's men and women in the same environment, it is inevitable that they're gonna start banging each other, and that, in turn, is going to put the entire company in danger. Here's an idea. How about we have the women and gay men serve in the military, and have only women and gay men officers. Then all the horny straight men will have to serve in combat. It sounds like the perfect plan. This way, and hear me out on this. This way, the women will not have to deal with the burden of thinking with their dicks. Sure, they can have sex, and they can enjoy it, but they're not gonna let it get in the way of things. Why? Because, for the most part, sex is not the most important thing in the universe for women. All the low-ranking straight guys will be fine because they don't have to worry about getting involved with higher ranking women. Why? Because they're higher-ranking women. All they have to worry about is the inevitable male rape by all the gay officers, you know, since gays will have sex with any man by any means necessary.
Here's a better idea. How about we have the military train its soldiers to not think with their wangs. Just ignore them. Hell, we've already got women ignoring their vaginas, right? Why can't men ignore their penises? Oh, right, cuz they're men.
So, here's the argument: No matter what happens, all men are horny pigs with no self control, and, since they are the physically stronger sex, they should do the fighting. Frankly, that just sounds weak and stupid.
As for gun control, I'm all for it. I don't see any good reason for guns to exist. They're deisgned with one purpose, and that purpose is, in general, immoral. Charlton Heston is a pompous asshole. While I don't think guns should be outlawed, I do think it should be a hell of a lot harder to own one.
And, as far as the Vagina Monologues are concerned, most guys who bitch about it don't get it, and they go out of their ways to make it seem bad, even though they really have no case.
I'm just sick of the pseudo-liberal conservative mindset. I'm also sick of the ultra-liberal mindset, but, thankfully, Chick Click is no more.
I kinda have to pee.
3-6-2
So, Wil Wheaton emailed Fuffy T. Fuffy interviewed Wil Wheaton. For real.
I was talking with Tina last night over dinner. I mentioned that in some ways, the United States is sort of like the Roman Empire. It considers itself to be the height of civilization. All other countries are lesser countries. It also considers itself to be in charge of the world. I still don't see how we got that idea. It is home to amazing technology that has influenced and bettered the world greatly. But when it comes down to it, like the Romans, Americans are still barbaric. If this is the height of civilization, we haven't come a very long way. But what about computers, space travel, splitting the atom, and all sorts of discoveries? Discoveries are discoveries. They happen all the time. While it is true that technology has advanced a hell of a lot over the past 100 years, hell, even the past 10 years, we are still barbarians. Our surroundings change to make us feel better, but we still haven't evolved.
I was looking at our apartment a while ago, and at all the things we own, and I started thinking about how far we had come as a family, Tina and I. Why? Well, look at all the stuff we have. We have lots of stuff. What does that say about us? I thought it said that we had come a long way. I thought it said that we're better off than we once were. But yesterday, it dawned on me that I was wrong. Sure, we've come a long way, and it's true that we're better off than we once were, but our stuff has nothing to do with it. The amount of stuff we own is only a testament to how much much money we've spent. No, dear, that doesn't mean I'm selling all my toys.
So, what it comes down to is this: We live in a society much like that of the past. We still have everything the Romans had. We just made it more convenient and named it something else. Nothing else has changed. Every day, people show off their physical prowess in various contests and tournaments. Every day, people die over stupid bullshit. Back then, they thrust a sword through your gullet if you insulted their families. Now, you get a cap popped in your ass. It's all the same. Only the names have changed. It's amazing that Bon Jovi has a little relevance here.
We are measured by our possessions. Not by ourselves, but by others. It used to be how many horses you have in your stable. Now it's how many cars are in your garage. Our rich live in heavily guarded castles. Our laws don't effect them nearly as much as they do our poor. The poor are all disposable. We can find someone else to take their jobs. It's not hard. A rich man is famous, and he makes headlines when he dies. Why? He's rich, duh! A poor man dies, and no one notices or cares. He doesn't have as much stuff.
So, where was I?
I just had the weirdest problem. Someone was using Word, and it insisting on writing in caps between the words A and government. I fixed it sort of by accident.
Tina's happy I'm rambling. Her shrink that she's been seeing for years, now, just discovered that OMG OMG OMG! She's depressed!! It took him that long to figure out. This is the same guy who thinks I'm narcissistic. I think he said that's what it was. I don't see where he gets it, personally, but Tina agrees. I think it's because of my faux-self-absorbed facade that I use around people. I'm not that great a person, and I'll be the first to let you know, unless someone already told you. They call me narcissistic, but I know better. I want to know what they have to support that claim. If anything I'm asocial (not to be confused with antisocial). I don't like being around people because I feel inadequate. To compensate, I put on a mask of self-importance. I know it's not good, and it's inauthentic, and it goes against everything I believe in, and I try not to do it, but it's fun. So, what does this say? I mean, I try to be myself, but I also try to be social. Since I'm not naturally social, it would be safe to say that I shouldn't try to be social. So should I stop being social? No, that's bad for me.
What does all this mean?
What is the answer?
Is authenticity possible?
I say it is, but how?
Cthulu's here, so I'm done.
3-3-2
OMGWTFLOLBBQ!
Wait til you real Fuffy T's exclusive interview tomorrow. It's a hoot.
Dad wants to see the Vagina Monologues for his class at ND. Sweet. I need to make up another copy. I rule.
Tina's mom is home. We celebrated her 63rd birthday on Saturday. We got her the Regis book. It was at the dollar store. How often to hard-cover books do bad enough to get into the dollar store?
Speaking of books, people seem to like the cover of my dad's book. I designed it. It's something to be proud of. Even the Pope's seen it.
I have the utmost respect for the Pope. Maybe it's because he's friends with Bono, but more likely because he's wise and good. He's also very misunderstood. Like Bono.
I find that most people don't hate what they think they hate, rather they hate their understanding of things. Does that make sense?
I dunno. I'm rambling.
I rearranged the closet over the weekend. I didn't plan to. It was an accident. You see, on Friday, Cthulu and I went to Media Play to look for clearence figures, and I found Evil Ash and Shaft, the two figures from that line I've been wanting most. So, I figure, since they're largish, I'll need to rearrange the figure display in the closet a bit, right? Well, I also thought it would be pretty sweet if I had Ash (the good one) holding the Necronomican while fighting Evil Ash. So, I start to look around the desk, since I dropped it somewhere around there. No sign of it. I start taking apart all the stuff on the desk. Nothing. I move the desk. Still not there. Long story short (too late), I moved everything around, filled a trash bag with trash and another with stuff to give to Goodwill. I still haven't fond the Necronomican, though. That pissed me off.
It's probably in the bucket or one of the cups. Oh well. I don't see how it could have just disappeared like that. It's a small enough room, and the thing is big enough to be seen.
I'm very tired. I need to stay awake. I don't want to, but I should. Well, maybe I can take a little nap. But I'm at work, and I don't want to get fired or look irresponsible, aspecially if people start walking out of here with computers.
It's effing cold outside.
2-26-2
So, Cthulu and I went to see the Vagina Monologues last night. Dave asked me to tape it for him, so I brought my video camera. I figured I'd make him a copy and I'd make me a copy. Well, it turns out I was the only one with a video camera, so there's going to be a few more copies to make. I'm not sure how many, though. At any rate, I thought the play was really good, and I'm glad I went. I'm also glad I brought the camera. I hope the sound turned out ok.
I also stand by my previous ramble about the Vagina Monologues (which I did before I even read the book). In case you missed it, here it is in full:
6-20-1So, someone wrote a letter to the Notre Dame newspaper, actually, it was an editorial or something. At any rate, he was complaining about the Vagina Monologues. Of course, this person never actually read nor saw the Vagina Monologues, but I guess he felt qualified to bitch about it anyway. His main problem, it seems, is that it focuses on *gasp* the vagina. Now, I'm not a woman, nor have I ever been one, but I do have a bit of a strong feminine side (or so I'd like to think). Something that has been bothering me lately is the whole gender thing. More specifically, it fascinates, confuses, and concerns me that one relatively small appendage can be so influential in a person's life. When we are born, the first thing the doctor does is look at our collective groin area and declare whether we're boys or girls. At that point, all sense of equality is lost. Culturally, we are defined by our genitalia. When you consider how little of the body that takes up, it's astounding that it remains the strongest characteristic for a person. We are defined by how we pee. That's it, and, frankly, it's not right.
I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I was born with a vagina. I'm not talking sexually, here, but personally and culturally.
When we're young, we learn to cover ourselves. Don't let anyone see you naked. Make sure your doors and windows are closed when you bathe or shower or ge dressed. Boys should use the boys' bathroom, and girls should use the girls' bathroom. Why? Because boys and girls shouldn't see each others' privates. We live with this all our lives. We attempt to conceal the most prominent parts of ourselves. What's the problem? Are you afraid that I might really be a man? Are you afraid that seeing a penis will blind you? Or is it all just sexual?
The penis and the vagina are not just sex organs. All too often, however, we see them as that. In high school, we weren't allowed to watch Schindler's List because of the nudity. People actually believe that Michelangelo's David is pornographic. We learn that the human body is dirty and should be covered, so we define ourselves by the clothes we wear or the people we spend time with or the jobs we hold. We never really accept our bodies. Guess what. The vagina is not evil. Neither is the penis. Neither of them are purely sexual. If that was the case, we wouldn't put so much value on them when it comes to societal roles.
For years, women were trying to become equal to men. It wasn't until more recently that women tried to make men and women equals. What's the difference? It's simple. The first statement sets men as the standard that women are trying to live up to. The problem with this, however, is tha it forces women to deny their womanhood. To deny who they are as women. With the Vagina Monologues, women are embracing who they are as women instead of trying to be more like men. They are embracing the physical characteristic that separated them from the boys at birth, and they are using it to empower themselves. They see the vagina as a sign of strength instead of weakness. It is not just sexual.
That's not to say that the sex doesn't enter into the equation, though. For some reason, it's ok for men to talk about sex openly, describe it, imitate it, and brag about it. If a woman does, she's viewed as a slut. What we fail to realize, though, is that all these hypersexual men must be getting it from women. A man can sleep with the entire east coast and talk about it, but if a woman does, she's demonized. For men, sexual activity is a source of pride. For women, it's a source of shame. Why is this? Because for thousands of years, women have been subservient to men. Why can't a woman talk about sex? It all comes down to societal roles. The societal roles that are given when the doctor looks for a penis.
So, talk about your vaginas all you want. Don't let idiotmen bring you down.
I took a few of my custom figures to Casey's, and he was really impressed. I'm proud of them.
I still have Frank dreams from time to time. I was supposed to put up a rememberance page a year ago, but it was too painful. Oh well. He lives on in our hearts.
Cthulu needs to MSPaint those pages, dammit.
I've been thinking a bit about my past, musically. You see, I didn't know it then, but I realize it now, that music has always played an important role in my life. Yesterday, Cthulu and I were at McDonald's, and they had some radio station playing, and Joan Baez's version of The Night They Rode Old Dixie Down (I believe it's called) started playing. I grew up with that song and many like it.
My parents were what I like to call Jesus hippies. My mom was more than my dad. They were all over the peace and love in the 60's, but rather than smoking grass or shooting up, they got high on God, or something to that effect. So, as I grew up, I was exposed to all kinds of great music, like Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, Woody and Arlo Guthrie, and so on. I was really immersed in folk music. (I also heard a lot of classical and opera, but I didn't grow to appreciate them until much later.) I think that the music really influenced who I am. First of all, it's no secret that I'm a huge U2 fan, and I think a lot of that came from the political statements made in those old songs. I don't know what I'm trying to get at, here, but I think I might have something. But every time I hear Joan Baez, I get all nostalgic. It's wonderful music, and I need to listen to it more often.
I like Spring Break. I get off at 11:00, and then I can just go home.