1-31-1 Cliff Yablonski hates Dave personally. I posted the Dave/Paco duel pics, finally. Things don't suck much for me right now. The truck's fixed. It's working and all. It only cost $100. They needed to charge the battery and rebuild the choke. We also got a letter from the office at our apartment complex saying we should let them know by the 28th of February. I seem to have caused some confusion with my previous post. I'm the one who determined that I'm an asshole. It's something I'm proud of, dammit. No one can take that away from me. It's who I am. It's what I do. I got a nice long email from George about the Dave Situation. I really think he needs to talk to Dave. I can see where he's coming from and all, but he needs another perspective, and, to be honest, I forgot what I was gonna say. At any rate, I'm over it. I think everyone else needs to stop dwelling. We're probably not gonna see U2. I kept telling George to get tickets. Get tickets. Every time tickets went on sale for a place somewhat nearby, I told him to order them. Then he posts on the message board that we need to talk about which show we all wanna go to. Y'know, I thought I made it very clear that I don't care as long as we go. Anyway, we're probably going to have to go to Orbit or something to see if there's any left. Either that or just hope they come through the US again. And I really want to see them. Dammit, now I'm all pissed off. And hungry. And Windows 98 is a bitch. I hate it. It makes my computer not work, and if memory serves, operating systems are supposed to make computers work. And my underwear's too tight. 1-29-1 Can I just say I hate my life right now? I went out for a metaphorical cup of coffee with Dave and Emily on Saturday. We talked. Emily was drunk. She's funny drunk. I've never seen anyone so fascinated by a light fixture. At any rate we sorted things out and established a few things: 1. Emily likes me. 2. Emily's a lot like Paco's sister. 3. I'm an asshole. 4. Emily likes me. So, things are good on that front. Elsewhere, things suck. The car stopped working. It sounds like the truck, and it won't start. Also, the computer's being a bitch. I blame it on Win. 98, but it's probably just a bitch. At any rate, I have to try several times if I want to install anything without it crashing. At times I just want to smash it. Then there's the apartment. They decided to raise our rent again, which means we'll probably be getting new crappy awnings to replace our year old crappy awnings. That's really what it's all about, right? I can deal with rent increases. It happens. What I can't deal with is this: Our lease ends in 2 months. If we choose to leave, we have to give 30 days' notice. We're looking for another place because, frankly, ours is a shithole. The place we're looking at moving to won't know if they have anything free until next month. This, of course, puts us in a bit of a bind. If we sign another year-long lease (at $459 a month), we're stuck in slumville for another year. If we decide that we're going to chance it and do month to month, we either have to get in at the other place (which we might not) or we're stuck in Grey Town indefinitely at $519 a month. If we don't decide by Wednesday, they're going to assume we want to give them more money. So, basically, they're bleeding us for more than we're worth. And, you know, there's other places in the area with lower rent, exercise facilities, sufficient parking, laundry facilities that work, controllable heat, and dishwashers. You know, the kind of thing that we should be getting with all these increases. But no. The best we can have is crappy awnings and periodic memos on the door threatening eviction (and overusing exclamation points) because a stray cat somehow got inside and was wandering around. Stupid story: There was this black kitty, a stray, and it was, of course, hanging out on the doorstep. For some reason all stray animals come to our doorstep. Anyway, It would pretty much hang out there all day. I'd occasionally bring it food and give it lovin. I'm a sucker for that kind of thing. I also have cats, and can't take anymore. Well, the cat got in one day. I can't blame it. It's warmer inside. Well, about a week later, the office posts a memo on the door to the building yelling at everyone who lives there (or no one in particular) that it's a violation of our lease if we allow pets to wander around, and whoever owns this cat had better make sure it stays inside. DId it ever occur to them that it was a stray?? No. Of course not. Another time, there was a memo on the door from the office bitch which started out, and I swear I'm not making this up: I'M MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah. REally fucking professional, bitch. This is the same woman who threatened to have my car towed because someone else parked like an asshole, and I wanted my car to fit in the lines. Good thing she's gone. I hope she dies. Better yet, I hope someone very dear to her kills him/herself and blames it on her. But anyway, I'm hungry, and I just wanna go home. And they always just blame everything on the new management (which has been new for over a year now). They never take responsibility (or action). We know a guy who lives there and has for over 10 years. He complained to the people at the office that the dryer didn't work. He'd put clothes in, and when it was done, they were still wet. They pretty much called him a liar. Our shower curtain rod was falling. It was held up very loosely by a broken screw. I called the office to get it fixed. They promptly sent someone out about a month later. The sidewalks are all completely covered in ice. Tina's fallen at least once. And they want us to give them $519 a month for our troubles. I don't think so. I hope they all suffer. I would really like to try out the power drill thing on them. 1-24-1 Well, the computer's up and running again, which is good. I was online last night surfing around a bit. I got off at around 1:30, and there was a message from Dave on my voicemail. I guess he wants to talk to me today. That's something to look forward to. Fuffy and Nana (or Nena) got into a fight, and Fuffy came out limping. I hope he's ok. really don't have much else to say except, oh yeah. For some reason, I've been getting email about my Marilyn Manson page from idiots (and others) lately. I can't seem to figger out why. It comes in waves, really. I guess this is one of them. Anyway, I always like it when stupid people prove themselves. What really gets me is when someone from the other side of the country writes me to tell me she hates me. You know how much I just need the approval of people I don't know, let alone care about. Hate me? Your loss. Ha! It's funny. I made a CD last night, and the effing thing just shut down on me, so I had this half CD with songs it wouldn't play. It was useless. I stripped it and it's a coaster now. And I'm out a CDR. I hate when things annoy me. Well, I'm hungry, and I've got reviews to write. 1-22-1 Can I just say my weekend has been a real bitch? Okay, since you're already dying to know, here's what happened: On Thursday night/Friday, my computer decided that the best thing for it to do was to give me the Blue Screen of Death whenever Windows booted up. Now, you don't need to be a genius to figure out that that's a bad thing. So, I call Dave, and he's not home. I call Joe, and he's not home either. Eventually, Dave calls me back and tells me to reinstall Windows. Ok. I do that, and now Windows doesn't even start to start. Great. May as well leave it alone until I hear from Joe. On Saturday, I was supposed to go up to Michigan to help my dad set up for a concert. I do this pretty regularly. It's no big deal. Unfortunately, I have no sense of direction. None. I'm really bad with it. So, needless to say, I get lost. It's happened before. No biggie. So, I'm driving around, looking for some place I recognize and listening to the inauguration coverage, when I just freak out. Inexplicable panic attack. That's it. I'm going home. My brain switches to automatic, and I get home (sooner or later). I immediately get into bed and start cry. I don't mean getting misty. I mean fucking bawling. And that little voice of reason in the back of my mind kept asking, "Why am I crying?" Human emotion. Gotta love it. Well, thank God for Tina, cuz she really helped me through it. And things started looking up. Hooray! So, we cleaned the spare room (for the first time in years) and decided to watch Until the End of the World, which was a really good movie. I won't be reviewing it, though. I'd watched the first hour or so before, and tried to resume it later, but it's the kind of movie you just have to sit through. Once you stop it, you have to start allll over again. So, we're sitting there, groovin on the movie, and the phone rings. I figure it's Trent wanting to make plans. Instead, it's Dave, and he's demanding that I destroy every existing copy of the Dave movie. I ask him why. He says I really crossed the line. I tell him that's too damn bad. I'm in the middle of a movie. He tells me I'm not allowed to make movies about people without their permissin. I said, and I believe these were my exact words, "Uh, no." He insists that I destroy it. I tell him no, I'm in the middle of a movie right now. Thinking that was that, we finished the movie, which was wierd, and Trent came over. I ask him about the Dave thing, and he tells me that Dave was really offended when he saw the first one, but he didn't want to say anything. Ok then. So, We discuss it a bit, watch some movies, and Trent leaves. Sunday rolls around. I'm not a happy camper. Again, thank God for Tina. Joe comes by and fixes the computer. Later, Kara calls me telling me that Dave had posted something on my message board. So, I decide it would be a good and honorable thing to call Dave and invite him out so we can discuss it. Dave decided the good and honorable thing would be to hang up the moment he heard my voice. I left a message on his voice mail, too. In other words, I've made two (2) attempts to sort things out (actually three, but I haven't gotten there yet), and he has rejected both. If it doesn't get sorted out, it's his own damn fault. It's not like I didn't try. It's not like I didn't spend most of last night trying to figure out how the hell to fix this whole thing. So now my pants are dirty and I'm crying and I'm crying and I'm crying, and I'm neverr going in the sandbox again. And I'm never going in the sandbox again. And I hate everybody! 1-16-1 Homestead's been pissing me off. It won't save my ramblings. Darn. I'm on the brink of a cold or flu or something. I have been for the last month or more, and I just want it to do its thing and get it over with. Perhaps I'll stay home today. There's a plan. On a completely unrelated note, we refilmed the Dave movie. I'm thinking I'll combine the two sets of footage. I also got the pics from the Dave and Paco duel scanned. I'll put them up soon. As for personal stuff, there really is none right now. 1-11-1 So, I'm groovin out to U2. I can't wait to see them. I mean that figuratively, of course. I saw them back in '97 with Tina. We never go out anymore. She prefers staying home and watching TV. I enjoy that too but I like to get out of the house. What sucks, though, is that if I go out, I'm not spending time with her. It's a no-win situation. It wasn't always like this, thouh. We used to go out all the time, whether it was to the arcade or the movies or even just to sit by the river and talk. And we'd always talk about stupid unimpant bullshit. We never do that anymore. It seems like every conversation we have has to be profound or groundbreaking or something. Usually when I try to have a conversation, her response is either telling be to be quiet, since I tend to get loud when I'm excited, or she just says she doesn't care. Then she complains about why I never talk to her. Ido. She just doesn't listen. I'm worried about her. She seems to be isolating herself. I don't know if it's a consious decision, but she is. She only has two friends anymore. We used to hang out with Dave all the time. Hell, she was more into Dave than I was. Now she blames it on the mania, but I don't think that's all. Now theonly people she'll do anything with are Trent and Noel. Notice that I'm not among the names. She had a friend, Michelle, since she was a wee one. They were best friends for the longest time. When we threw the big New Year's Eve party (which was attended mostly by people she knew), she and Michelle were having a blast together. It was loads of fun. Even I was enjoying myself, and I wasn't even drunk. Now she says she doesn't know Michelle anymore, and never talks to her. When Michelle got married, Tina was supposed to be in the wedding, but backed out because wwe couldn't afford a dress, but we figured we'd go anyway. They were best friends, after all. Instead, we stayed home and slept. Now, I'm all for sleeping and staying in, but I feel really sorry for Michelle. I mean, her best friend since childhood blows her off on the happiest day of her life. To this day, I still imagine Michelle with tears in her eyes when she realizes that we're not coming. I mean, at least break it off with her. You don't like her anymore. Tell her. Stop pretending. Ya know? Either that or patch thing up. But do something. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at Tina by any stretch of the imagination. If anything, I'm sad. I'm sad that I'll lose her, not to Trent or Noel or anyone else, but to herself. I know I wouldn't be able to deal if I lost Tina. She's my all-consuming reason for living. Tina, I love you more than anything or anyone. You know that. I feel your absence, and it kills me. I try to patch it up with the cats, or my Star Wars collection, or whatever, but it just doesn't work. I need you because I love you. On a completely different note, I still really miss Francis. I miss how he would sit against the wall or lie on the ground with his front paws cross. Imiss him lying on my chest while I scratch his ears and chin. I miss him always being the first in line for treats. I cried when I said good-bye to him. I loved him dearly, and I still do. 1-8-1 Third time's a charm. So, Dave and Emily are getting married. Don't know when yet, but I'm happy for them. At least she's not pregnant. Yet. We made a movie about Dave. With Action figures. I wanna redo it tho. Trent and I saw the Star Wars Magic of Myth exhibit. It was effing cool. I loved it. I got a copy of the Star Wars Chrismas album there. It's awful. I'm hungry. Paco still needs to find me the Shredder figure. I now have four members of my female fighter jock team. They're cool. I have a buttloadd of pictures to scan. My back hurts. I've been moody lately. I'm not sure hy. Today's the first day of classes. I'm not at all happy about that. I just wanna rest. That also means that I get to see a bunch of new people who know shit about copmputers. My typing skills are atrocius. Oh well. 1-2-1 Happy New Millenium! I'm in a pretty good mood, but a bit sore. Ok, a lot sore. I don't wanna tell the story again. Christmas came and went, and I was shitty. I suppose you ll want to know what I got, fucking materialists. From Tina: A 3 yard piece of fleece. It's nice and soft and warm, and Fat Nana likes to sleep on it, as do I. Titan AE I love that movie. X-Men I also love that movie. From Mom and Dad: A video camera which kicks ass. Video tapes. A camera case. From George: A tripod. We made a movie about Dave. It's called Dave: A Biopic. Can I just say I'm sick to death of Ben Affleck? Don't get me wrongo, he's a great actor, but between the View Askew films, 200 Cigarettes (which is highly underrated), Entertainment Weekly, and everything else, I've seen way too much of him. Nothing personal. I actually beat George and Paco at Super Smash Brothers, and I suck at it. I miss Teresa. 12-28-00 --This was originally posted in the forums and added here later.-- Well, considering the fact that I can't update my page until Tuesday, I'll post here. I am completely, uttely, and hopelessly depressed (to the point of shredding my arm). What sucks most about it, tho, is that I have no fucking clue why. Part of it is that I really miss Frank. I also had a shitty X-mas. No, it's not the gifts. The gifts were great. Trent came over last night, and I went to bed anyway. I've been sleeping at the wierdest times. It's not because I'm always tired. It's just the closest thing to not having to live that I can get to. I'm mostly lying down and avoiding. I have when I bake the Sculpey onto a figure and the torso melts. And I decend from grace In arms of undertow. I will take my place In the Great Below. This is one of those depressions that even hanging out with friends can't help. All I have is my toys and my fleece. Nothing is making me happy. I'm completely Star Warsed out. I spend all day in front of the computer or in bed. I wanna get high. Or get dead. Whatever. And yet there's a part of me that clings to some semblence of sanity. I wonder what it feels like to have a knife punge into my heart. BTW, if anyone calls, I won't talk, so dont bother. And don't come knocking at my door either. I wisj I had a stereo to smash. No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from. Fill your life with love and bravery and you shall lead a life uncomon. I have no idea why I like that song. It's so... positive. And yet, I've been looking forward to it playing.... If each day is a gift, it sure is a shitty one. You'd think with all the toys I have lying around there'd at least be one kid living here. Course, you'd be wrong... Meanwhile, Tina's sleeping. Can't say I blame her. It's her week off, and I'm just ruining it all. So, I'm starting to look longingly at my X-Acto knife right about now. Retracing old scars... But no blood. I wonder what that means. It means you're supposed to press harder, stupid! Funny how things work. Or don't, as the case may be. This machine is obsolete. Tina's gonna be pissed with me. Does anyone have any alcohol? I cou;ld really go for some. Or perhas a lobotomy. Nope. No one's online. How could i ever think it's funny how everything you swore would never change is different now... Tina's up. Great. Now she's gonna see blood and freak out. Obviously, I still care or else I wouldn't even think of it. So, I'm listeing to the fragile, and I'm sort of wishing I'd lose a bunch of blood and pass out. At least it'd make my day more interesting. I guess i'm just too lazy for that. 12-22-00 Happy Hannukah, Fuffy T! The official site has the coolest Episode II picture I have seen yet. Can I just say I hate Kwanzaa? I hate everything about it. Why is it even there? It's pointless. It originated a few years ago in the US. It's not even remotely African. In fact, there's no such thing as African culture in the first place. And it's just so stupid that you're allowed to, even encouraged to celebrate Kwanzaa, like it means something. You can put up a Happy Kwanzaa sign at work, and you're praised for being open-minded and diverse. If you put up a Merry Christmas sign, you get fired for alienating all the non-Christians. It's bullshit. It's just another Hallmark holiday for the sake of being politically correct. Fuck Kwanzaa. Give me a real holiday. My legs itch. I'm halfway done with Tina's Christmas shopping. She has no idea what I got her (well, except for the calander, which I get her every year). My truck wouldn't start. It's friggin cold. I called George to see if he could give me a ride. Oh yeah, George got his license. Fat Nana's getting used to Kitten and Fuf, but she still hates them. I gave her a hair cut this morning. She's not lookig like an armadillo anymore. I can't wait for winter to be over. You know what it is? Winter starts on the 21st. Christmas is always associated with winter, so when you think winter, you think Christmas. But then, Christmas comes 4 days later. After that, you just have 3 months of cold and snow and slippery roads. If the Earth were tilted right, I'd be happier. So, I've been playing happy homemaker this past week. I did the dishes and cleaned the living room, and took care of the trash, and cleaned the tub, and some other stuff. Yay me! Dave's obsessed with SSX. I want a Stith figure. I really like Titan A.E. Know what sucks? Because Titan A.E. did poorly at the box office, Fox Animation was shut down. Bastards. I noticed myself looking at Tina today, and I started thinking. Who is this person? Do I really know her? Why is she spending all this time with me? It's wierd. Sometimes we're really really close, and sometimes, she seems like a stranger I just woke up next to. Not that I'm complaining. I just find it odd that one day I can be so sure that I know her, and the next, she just seems distant. It's like I'm a spectator at my own life. I have to shut down all the computers today. That'll be fun. My nails are festive. Happy birthday Trent! For some reason, we can't get ahold of you. I could go for some food right about now. And a nap. Guh. 12-15-00 Well, I don't have much time to ramble, so I shall attempt to make it quick... In the right light, Emily looks kinda like Tim Robbins. I'm trying to kick my Christian chat room addiction. So far I haven't been there for 3 days. Yay! People on the Interference message boards are idiots. There's this guy called melon, and he insists that truth is relative. He also says that George W brainwashed the American voters and that 150 years from now, he'll be remembered as the man who stole the presidency. Now, I'm not a Bush fan. In fact, the only reason I voted for him was because I didn't want to be blamed if Gore won. But, you know, some arguments are just ridiculous. I mean, think about it. Gore lost the initial count. Gore lost the recount. Gore lost the hand count. And Bush stole the presidency? Please. So, Fat Nana moved in with us. Kitten and Fuf don't seem to mind her. They seem to miss Frank, tho. I know I do. I wish he was still alive and well, but these things happen, I guess. It was wierd. About a week before Frank got sick, I started thinking about how devastated I'd be if one of the cats died. Damn, I hate when that happens. I tell ya, that was the hardest thing I had to do in years. Sitting there in the car while Frank cried, and I kept wanting to tell him it was all gonna be ok, but I knew it wasn't. It's just not right. I have a final today. We were snowed in almost all week, so two days of finals were postponed. So, I get to work an hour, take the test, and work an hour. Fun. No Christmas for us this year. I've been going thru a major U2 phase. I'm not sure why. The only thing that's been playing in my truck for the last month has been Zooropa. Great album, but it's a bit of a grower. I hate the commercials they play during Bob and Tom. It's so annoying. And is it just me or does it sound like Tom Ford is calling himself Tom Forward? You know what really annoys me? When people on the radio say, "Good Thursday morning." Only, it's not always Thursday, but you get the idea. I mean, really. Who comes into work on Wednesday and says to his co-workers, "Good Wednesday morning, Tim. How's the wife and kinds?" "Good Wednesday morning, Barry, Lori's sick, but everyone else is fine." Honestly. It's just stupid. Either say it's Wednesday morning or say good morning, but don't try to fit them both in the same sentence. X-Entertainment is the greatest web page ever (or at least on of them.) I just discovered I Eat Crayons. Nothing like bad comics about Bob and rabid moose. Fluppleworld is also pretty damn cool. I may have gotten the URL wrong. Sorry. I'm not nearly as depressed as I have been. Tina upped my Paxil. I'm hungry. It snew a lot this week. I suppose I'm done.... 12-6-00 Well, folks, on Saturday, December 2nd, Frank died. He was in a lot of pain, and we had to put him down. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. God, I miss him. Once I get my pictures, I'll put up a memorial page. He was my buddy, and I love him dearly. Before he went, we told him to come back and haunt Fuffy. We're probably gonna take in Fat Nana, since she's supposed to be my cat anyway. Tina started doubling my Paxil intake, so I haven't been moody lately. Its the last week of classes. Yay!!! I slept thru my alarm today, which meant I couldn't get George. Sorry George. I meant to. Kara got me some neat green nail polish. Meijer was having a sale. Kara doesn't suck ass at all. Unfortunately, my primary email is down for maintainence. I think I'm getting a cold. I hate when that happens. I loaned Dave my bigass Christmas tree. It's 7.5 feet. Let's see... What else is there... I haven't seen much of Tina lately, which sucks because I like her so much. I'm glad the break is coming up. We'll be able to see each other again. This semester was a bitch. I've been spending most of my time sitting around the house moping. X-E takes forever to load. Damn it. I need to redo my Jay and Silent Bob figures. Kara and Dave came over last night to watch Dogma. I love that movie. It's among my favorites. Then we did what we always do. FINGERCUFFS! Wait. No. We wandered around Meijer. Subtle difference there. Ew. Ew. 11-28-00 So, Frank has a liver infection or someting. He needs to eat. A lot. But Fuffy won't let him. In other words, Fuffy is trying to kill Frank. Bad kitty. I stayed home all day yesterday. Hell, I slept almost all day today. Noel's birthday party was on Saturday. We all went to Bryan's Piano Barr. I'm not sure why there's 2 r's in Barr, but there is. I had to leave early. I couldn't be around there. I was going to freak out. I'm not doing well with people lately. In action figure news, Trent, Tina, and I went to visit Casey at Buy Me Toys.Com. He and Kelly had another baby. I found some cool stuff, too. Ok, those statements really aren't related at all. Anyway, he had a used Dewback and a used Ronto for $3.99 each, so I got those. I also got some DC purple guy for a dollar. Later the same day, Trent and I went to Toys R Us, which probably not a good idea since it was the day after Thanksgiving. Anyway, I found a CommTech Stormtrooper. Now, to put this into perspective, Trent got one for $10 earlier this year. This one was $1.97. I rule. But I also promised not to gloat. Thanksgiving this year was pretty much a nonevent. We went to my parents' like always. We had turkey and mashed potatoes, like always. We watched a video, like always. And we had pie, like always. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't really anything extraordinary. I think I'm getting sick. Maybe not. I don't know. I started playing Zelda for SNES again. I got an emulator, so noe I don't need to use my crappy SNES. It doesn't show color any more. Just shades of grey. I hate when people insist that the printer's empty after I just filled it. There's all kinds of reasons your document won't print. Having one empty tray is not one of them. I finished the 4th X-Wing book. Not bad. I saw some movies, too. I guess I'd better review them, eh?