3-7-1 I'm tired and I want to go to bed now. I'm way the fuck behind in my classes. I think I'll just drop them instead of fail. That seems like a better idea. I'm so sick of school. Every semester something has to happen that just throws me off track. Last semester, Grandma died. This semester, it's Jim and the nasty virus. I hate it. Nothing ever seems to go smooth. I can't wait 'til our computer is up and running smoothly again. This one is waaay too slow. As I'm typing, the letters are coming up very delayed-like. In fact, the word that just came onscreen at the end of this sentence is sentence. I have to wait five seconds to see if I made any typos. It pisses me off. The computer is still trying to spell out the word "trying." Funny how these things work. We got a new memmbership at the world's suckiest video store. The only thing it has going for it (if you would consider it a pro) is that it rents adult videos. Yeah, there's some good viewing there. Paco's taking us to lunch. I really could use a nap. Or one of those marijuana cigarettes, as the kids call them. Please not that I am not advocating drug use. I'm making fun of it. I'm also covering my ass. I'm so sick of John Travolta. He's a bad actor. He was good in Pulp Fiction, but everything else sucked. Jason Lee is my hero, though. In honor of the ChickClick idiots, I misspelled person. I feel miserable. I hate my life. It takes everything out of me just to get out of bed in the morning. I'm overwhelmed with hunger, but Ihave no appetited. I'm sick and tired of living. It's not that I want to die. I just want to not live, get it? I'm not sure why. Maybe I can borrow some liquor from Dave. Yeah, that'll go over well. Dave, I'm depressed. Can I use your Schnapps to drink myself into a stupor? Darn male itch. We got most of our stuff moved over. It all seems kinda pointless. I was thinking last night about suicide. Did he say suicide? We'd better call someone! And it seems to me that everyone (well, most people) think it's aselfish thing people do to hurt others. Or it's a permenant solution to a temporary problem. Well, let me explain something: I'm not gonna kill myself to piss people off. Yes, I know it'll hurt people, but they'll get over it. People die. It's part of life. I started weighing the pros and cons. Cons: I'd miss out on all the great movies that are coming out. My family would be upset. People would think less of me. I couldn't do all those things I enjoy. I'd never see Tina again. That pesky eternal damnation thing. Pros: I wouldn't care about all the movies I'd miss, since I'm dead. My family would get over it. I don't care what people think. When I'm dead, I won't care. I wouldn't suffer through this bullshit. I wouldn't have to deal with stupid people. No money problems. No food problems. No marital problems. So, basically, the only thing holding me back is fear of eternal damnation, but, you know, the idea of staying alive out of fear just seems ridiculous to me. Well, that, and I want a relatively painless death, but that an be arranged. Course, I'll also have those U2 tickets. Trent's already getting one. If I'm dead, who gets the other? I guess they can squabble over it. I don't care. I guess I'm just a girl, interrupted. I mean, I guess I'm just stuck in a moment I can't get out of. Maybe later will be better. Probably not. I think I'm gonna take the rest of the day off and sharpen my giant knife. That sounds like a plan. But first, I need to update my front page. I haven't done any reviews lately, have I? 3-1-1 U2 rocks. I'm gonna see them on May 3rd. I'm getting 2 tickets in the mail. Who's going with me? Fat Nana passed away yesterday. I miss her, but it wasn't much of a surprise. She never really got past living with us, and she was horribly out of shape. All That You Can't Leave Behind is a great CD. I love it. I love U2. We go the keys to the new place. I hate moving, but I'll be glad to get out of CP. Tina's all worried. I told her not to be, and she said that if she doesn't worry, who will? I dunno. Go find your crackers, dear. For about an hour last night, I had a gun rack in my truck. You see, Tina inherited a gun rack thing from when her father died. WHat's she gonna do with a gun rack? Well, we decided to tear the back off (since it's locked with no key) and convert into a display case, which is nice. We also got a bar stool, a desk chair, and a giant knife. Oh, I registered the name VampyreGrrrl at the Chickclick boards. The password is bitch. 2-28-1 We get the keys to the new apartment today. Hooray! We start moving in on Friday. Actually, we start today, since I'm gonna bring over a bunch of boxes full o' stuff, but you get the idea. Dave and Emily want to have a party at Dave's house on Friday. I told him we would be moving. I forgot, however, that we also had to go to Tina's mom's house afterwards, which means we can't make it. Far be it from me to ask him to reschedule, but he could have picked a better day. Some idiot has been sending me email about my Manson page. It wasn't terribly interesting, so I didn't post it, however, his email was titled u stupid fuck, and he kept hurling insults at me and telling me how immature I am. Today I got a mesage from him telling me how he hopes I die and burn in hell and blah blah blah. I told him he was completely worthless. I hope he has low self-esteem. Does that make me a bad person? In other news, I'm completely bald. I had my hair all buzzed off, and I shaved the rest as well as my face. Now I've got the whol Dr. Evil thing going. We watched The Matrix last night. Great movie, but the contrived love conquers all ending sucks. I can see how they needed him to be resurrected, but they could have done it better than "You have to be the One because I love you." You know how at the end when he comes back to life and sees the Matrix for what it is? Think about this. What if, throughout the whole film, he kept getting glimpses of it but keeps denying it, and the glimpses get longer and more frequent, and at the end, when he's shot, he sees the Matrix for what it really is, and that's what makes him come back to life. Get the idea? Ah well, it's not my movie, so I can't complain. I still want a copy of it. Ever notice how everything inside the Matrix has a greenish hue to it, and, throughout the first act, before we find out that the world isn't really like that, there's dozens of hints suggesting it? I love that movie. I still think TPM was robbed at the Oscars, though, but what can you do. It's an awards show. I'm tired, and I want to eat (and sleep). I couldn't get to sleep until around 4 last night. I was up watching Maury Povich again. Ever notice how talk shows always tend to stick to specific things? Look at it: Jerry Springer - Cheating white trash kicking each others' asses. Oprah - Famous people. Maury Povich - Wild uncontrollable teens and paternity tests. Montel Williams - People overcoming tragedy and psychics. Jenny Jones - Surprise makeovers and tenth rate bands playing them to commercial while Jenny tries to be 20 years younger than she actually is. Sally Jesse Raphael - Wild teens. Ricki Lake - Cheating couples and surprise makeovers. Dr. Laura - People not acting Christian enough for her liking. Rosie O'Donnell - Late night format andbitching about conservatives. And then tonight's the last episode of Temptation Island. I confess, I have been following it throughout the whole series. It's like a train wreck in that sense. Can I just say that it's a really bad idea? How did that board meeting go? Exec 1: Well, Fox has promised to cut back on our reality programming, so we need to start another show. Any ideas? Exec 2: But, sir, that doesn't make any sense. If we're supposed to cut back... Exec 1: You're fired, Exec 2. As was saying, any ideas? Exec 3: We could send people to a tropicl island. Exec 1: That's been done already. We need something more dangerous. This is Fox, remember? Exec 3: Well, we could send devoted unmarried couples to a tropical island. Then we could split them up, force them to date other people, and have them try to get back together. Exec 1: What if they have kids? We don't want to break up families. Exec 3: Sure we do! This is Fox! If anyone has a problem, we can just deny knowledge and kick them off the island. Exec 1: Sounds good. And we could get Marky Mark to host. Exec 3: He's too expensive. But there's a guy down the street from me named Mark L. Walberg. He's pretty. People will never notice the difference. Exec 1: Oh, well let's get him then. So, they get four couples in commited relationships who are willing to throw everything away for, what, a million bucks? Nope. 2 million? Nope. Free publicity. Yep that's right. They get nothing out of it but heartbreak and publicity. Could you imagine that conversation? Bob: I love you, baby. Carol: I love you too. Bob: You're the most important thing in my life. Carol: I feel the same way. Bob: You know what I think we should do? Carol: I thought you'd never ask... Bob: We need to spend time away from each other for a couple weeks and see other people. Carol: Why would we want to do that? Bob: So we can be famous! Carol: You're telling me after 5 years of hard work and making this partnership, and yes, it is a partnership, after 5 years of working on it and making it strong, you want to just risk losing everything for 15 minutes of fame? Bob: Well, yeah. Carol: Great. Let's do it. These people need to be smacked around a bit. I don't know what's worse, watching a commited relationship unravel because some guy like to have his nipple licked or watching a 16 year old run off a stage wailing because neither of the guys she suspected are the father of her child. This is what we do for entertainment these days. It's pathetic. And people wonder why so many kids are screwed up. Well, they're either in the situation or they know people who are, and this is all normal to them. Y'know, I remember the days when we could go outside unsupervised. We could run around the block waving toy gns (without the little orange tips at the end) shooting at each other claiming to be bulletproof. Kids can't do that anymore. If they do, suddenly they have irresponsible parents. The whole thing sucks. Here's what's even worse, though. Kids can't have toy guns. They can't bring anything resembling a weapon to school (yes, that includes nail files), but for God's sake, give them all the condoms they want. They're gonna have sex anyway, right? Might as well make it safe. Kids are like men. They can't control themselves, and nothing we can do is going to change any of that, so let's just acfept it and hope for the best. And men, well men are just evil. Every man is a potential rapist. No man can go through life with only one sexual partner. It's human nature. We're all a bunch of sex-driven maniacs who will readily do it with anyone at the drop of a hat with out any thought of the consequences. That's why it's always the man's fault if a woman gets pregnant. She never had a choice. Sure, she agreed to sleeping with him, but as an oppressed woman, she really didn't have any say, because had she said no, he'd have raped her. No, it's never the woman's fault. She had nothing to do with it. Then there's all these stupid feminists out there. Keep in mind I'm not saying all feminists are stupid. I'm all for equality, and I do my part. I'm referring to the feminists who are stupid. Call me a bigot or whatever, but I justs don't get it. Women are the child-bearing sex of the species. Yes, I can accept the fact that assigning gender roles isn't a very good thing, but face it. Someone's gotta do the birthing, and the men are ill-equipped. The whole reason we have two sexes is for procreation. If we reproduced asexually, there would only be one sex, but there isn't. That's why there's men and women. Now these stupid feminists are all about being proud to be a woman. I am woman hear me roar, etc. They also go on about how they should have a right to not have PMS, how they should be allowed to kill a fetus if they don't want it, how anyone who is against abortion is anti-woman, and how they're just as good as men. Here's what I don't get: If you're so proud to be a woman, why are you always complaining about it? You can't say you're proud of your womanhood and then turn around and claim that the ability to have children is a burden. If you're so proud, revel in it. Take joy in it. Stop trying to be a man, because thet's really what you're doing. You're living up to rules and expectations created by men. You'relooking for the approval of men. You're trying to be equal to men. Has it ever occurred to you that men and women aren't supposed to be the same? I'm not saying they shouldn't be treated with the same dignity and respect. I think it's horrible that women make 60 cents on the dollar and find it twice as hard to succeed in the business world. I really do. But if you want to make a difference, don't conform to men's standards. Set your own. Otherwise you're just being stupid and going against everything you claim to believe in. Being true to your womanhood is not the same as conforming to men's ideals. Just think about that for a while. 2-26-1 Wow. I haven't updated in forever. I was sick almost all of last week. We both had a nasty virus (or something). It was the flu that's been going around. We were both pretty much stuck in bed all week. It sucked. Anyway, it's Spring Break now, which means no classes. I got my head shaved. It feels weird. I kept telling Trent on Friday that I was getting it done. He didn't believe me. Neither did Dave. They were wrong. Hazzah! That reminds me. Tina's birthday was on the 16th. I got her some nice presents. I got her a box of chocolates. I love that her birthday is so close to Valentine's Day. It's so much easier to find chocolates. I also got her the Slinece of the Lambs and Hannibal novels, which she just started reading. And I got her a Mystery Science Theater 3000 video. It's Pod People, and it's hilarious. We've already watched it a few times. We get the keys to the new apartment on Wednesday, which rules. We just now started packing. Well, I did. I have about 6 boxes of Star Wars stuff alone. When we moved into our old apartment, I had a box with a few Star Wars things. Can I just say Emily's little sister looks like a miniature version of Emily? I've recently become addicted to Wario's Woods for Nintendo. It's not a play-it-every-chance-I-get kinda thing. It's more of a visualizing-it-every-time-I-blink thing. It's an evil evil game, but I can't stop. Not now. I'm up to level 67 (I think). We took Tina's mom out last night. Then we played Scrabble. I won. I rule. I'm actually in a pretty good mood right now. I'm way the hell behind in everything, but I don't care. I just wanna sleep. I borrowed Dave's (or perhaps Steve's) Silverhawks video, and it was awful. I may review it later (but don't count on it.) We went and saw Hannibal. I thought it was a pretty good movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It wasn't as good as Silence, but they're completely different kinds of movies. The ending was pretty cool. Fuffy T decided that he's a velociraptor. We were watching Jurassic Park, which I think is very overrated but still enjoyable. I like John Williams. Anyway, I guess that makes Fuffy a Jewish Cheetah Pirate Wookiee Vulcan Bulemic Velociraptor who emits a funny radiation. Fuffy T's a crazy cat. I'm thinking of giving him a weekly column a la Jeff K. I probably won't though. I'm also thinking of giving Trent a news column on my page. Ok, I will give him one if he writes up some news articles. Oh yeah. I almost forgot! StarWars.Com put up the top 100 fan sites. I was number 16. I rule! Incidentally, if you're here from there, welcome. 2-15-1 Well, Jim died. I'm not terribly upset about it. Neither is Tina. I'm glad he's out of her life. But I had to miss a couple days, which means I'm behind in everything, and I don't really wanna make it up, but I have to. We also have Josh and Jessica (our nephew and niece) staying with us, which is nice, although Josh can get pretty effing annoying really quickly. Next time I want Combos, remind me to get the small bag. I thirst. Dave's car is in the shp, and they won't take a post-dated check, those bastards, which means I have to remember to pick him up today. I'm tired. I wanna go home, but I can't. The people on the ChickClick boards are idiots. Most of them need to be put out of my misery. Trent had this great idea of going on there and saying, "I heard that John Ashcroft is going to require uterus registration. Each uterus would be assigned a registration number so that, in case there's a war, we can replenish the nation's supply of soldiers." It's on the Internet, so it has to be true. These people are idiots. They'll believe anything. "Write to your Congresspeople and tell them not to support this bill! I hear it's all being kept top secret until after it's passed, and everyone in Congress and the Senate is sworn to secrecy. Let them know it's unacceptable." There's one person on the boards there who refuses to spell properly. She writes womyn instead of woman and persyn instead of person. What a fucking moryn. 2-12-1 Looks like I didn't date my last ramble. Oh well. I don't care. I had a busy-assed weekend. On Friday and Saturday, I had to help my dad set up a symphony concert. It was very hectic, and I could really use a day off. Sunday just wasn't enough. Yesterday, we took Emily out to Hacienda to celebrate her birthday. We also invited Noel. On Friday, Tina, Trent, Dave, and Emily went to see Hannibal. I had to miss it. I really want to see it too. Tina says we'll see it over the weekend. I'm warm. I wanna go home and sleep. I hate having to work at 8:00. It's such a hassle. Of course, I hate having to work at all, but that's beside the point. Evidently, it's Bittle's birthday. I'm tired. I don't wanna be here. FIrst, let me get this out of the way. On Saturday, Tina and I went apartment hunting. We didn't tell much of anyone. I told Trent and Dave (and I think Brian was there too), but we didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. Anyway, we looked at two places. The first was about the same size as our apartment. It needed to be renovated, and it smelled bad. weren't too impressed. Its number one selling point was that it was in Mishawaka, and Mishawaka is not South Bend. I don't like living in South Bend (damn hall of fame). Then we looked at another one. It's right by campus, and it's effing huge (well, compared to what we have)y exact words were, "I want one." So, we filled out an application, and paid the fee. We figured when we heard back, it'd be bad news, on account of our credit. So, the led last night, and he asked when we could sign the paperwork to start living there. We'll be moving in at the beginning of March. If you have any spare boxes or anything, we'd be happy to take them off your hands. I can't believe we're finally getting out of that shithole. Toot's coming hee weeks. It was supposed to be two, but she can stay an extra weeek. Hooray! I like my sister. I couldn't sleep last night. I don't know why (except for the fact that I woke up late yesterday). I've decided to make a Hannibal Lector figure. I'm soooo looking forward to when Hannibal comes out. Silence of the Lambs is a great film. Anthony Hopkins is a genius. He was on Dave Letterman last night. He wore a bright yellow watch. Speaking of Dave, Trent and I went to see him on Saturday, like I said. We got into a big argument over whether or not the sequels to Highlander count. I said they do because, duh, they're sequels. They said they don't because they suck. Dave has much to learn about storytelling. I win. So there.. I just took a break from rambling to fix up the archives. I don't really know why. Anyway, it was wierd to read what I wrote back then. This computer was acting slow. I hate when that happens. We're supposed to have lunch with Trent today. I hope he doesn't forget. So, we took Fat Nena back to my parents' house. She was really depressed. For a couple days,she refused to look at Mom. I guess she thought it was her fault. She's doing better, though. I have this wierd scratch-like mark under my eye, and I can't figure out how it got there. I like to make up little stories about people I see every day but never talk to. There's this woman who works in the library. She's here every day. She never talks to me. She seems like a very unhappy person. I've never seen her smile in the 4 years I've been going here. Oh my God, it's been four years now? Ummmm.... Uhhh... Tina's birthday's coming up. I don't know what to get her. If I ask, she'll say something along the lines of "nothing" which really doesn't help me a bit. Ok, I'm really done this time. 2-1-1 So, we're finally a whole month into 2001. Still no flying cars. I have a question. How are you supposed to say 2001? Is it two thousand one, like a Space Odessey, or is it twenty oh one, like last century (like 1901)? I'm confused. Also, what decade is this? The ones? The zeroes? It was so much easier in the latter half of the last century. Fat Nana's really miserable. She hides under the bed all day. Occasionally, she'll come out and lie on my fleece, but usually, she's hiding. It sucks. I get the feeling things aren't going to improve for her. She hardly ever eats. She still hates Fuffy, and she tolerates Kitten. I think she's homesick. And she probably misses Corley. Or she's a mourning mother. I don't know. I'm kinda tired, but not really. It's Thursday, which is good. That reminds me. I need to do laundry soon, hopefully tomorrow. Nintendo sucks. I hate them. Effective immediately, I am actively boycotting them. Who's with me? On another completely unrelated note, Paco, have you smacked Bittle yet? It's good for longevity. Mr. Heydey loves you all.