5-24-1 What a day. I'm tired and sore. Here's what happened: Trent was over, like he always is, and Dave, Emily, and Brian come by to see if we wanna go out and do something. We agree to go to Meijer to wander around. You'd think that a place like South Bend, with colleges aplenty (IUSB, St. Mary's, Notre Dame, etc.) would have places that are open late and cheap/free, but all we have is 23 restaurants, Meijer, and Wal-Mart. So, like I said, we decide to got to Meijer to walk around. Dave, Emily, and Brian are in Dave's car, and Trent and I are in Trent's car. So, we're driving along, and we take the standard route, going east on Jefferson. Well, as we're going through an intersecting (with Logan), I distinctly recall seeing a white pickup truck heading south through the intersection. And I thought to myself, That's not supposed to be there. Well, Trent slammed on his brakes, but to little avail. We slam into the truck and spin almost all the way around. After saying, "fuck" a couple times, I look over at Trent and ask how he's doing. The first thing he says to me is, "We had the green, right?" I look up and tell him we still do. Meanwhile, Trent's holding his head, and his hand and ear are covered in blood. He tells me he's not so good. Outside, there's some people talking and a woman crying, "I'm so sorry. I thought it was green. I'm so sorry." I ask no one in particular to get a towel or something, and a minute or so later, someone hands one to Trent. I get up out of the car after a couple minutes and the front end is steaming and crushed. I go back and tell Trent I'm gonna go call Tina and his parents. So, I go to the 7-11 to get change, spend 95 cents trying to call Tina (I have no idea how that happened), and I tell her to call his parents because we were in an accident. I get back, and there's police cars, a fire engine, and anambulance. They put Trent in a neck brace and onto a stretcher (being cautious and all). I'm asked if I'm ok, and I'm fine, as far as I know. My knees are scratched up, and my chest hurts, but I'm otherwise ok. So, they load Trent into the ambulance, and Tina arrives. We find out where they're taking Trent and wait for his parents while the ambulance leaves. Trent's parents show up a few minutes later, ask what happened and where he his. I tell them, and they leave. We follow and meet Dave, Emily, and Brian at the ER. Then we just kinda hang out there waiting for updates from his dad. At about 1:30, we're finally allowed to go see him. He's fine. He got a staple in his head, and he's pretty shook up, but he's fine. I have to say I'm glad I was there. I wouldn't have wanted Trent to go through the whole ordeal alone. Course, I wouldn't have wanted him to go through it at all, but still.... So, now I'm sore and tired. I have a nice long red mark across my torso (from the seat belt which, thank God, I was wearing.) The car is, well, no more. Trent's getting rest. I like Tato Skins. Oh yeah, and that's how Tina met Trent's parents. 5-23-1 I'm dead fucking tired. It's 10:00 am. Guh. We live in a sick, disgusting world. We have teenage girls go on national television not know who the fathers of their children are. We laugh at them when it tutrns out they're wrong. We don't think twice about throwing fetuses into landfills, but God forbid there's any styrofoam with them. We sit in comfortable chairs and watch TV complaining about how much life sucks for us while there are people right here who are lucky to find a half-eaten cheeseburger in a dumpster. We have the technology and the knowledge to communicate with people all over the world, and the best we can come up with is erotic superhero fiction and anus pictures A 17 year old girl is free to go to a clinic and have an abortion without her parents ever finding out, but she still needs a note from them if she misses a day of school. An 18 year old boy can be sent off to fight in a war he wants nothing to do with and die for a cause he doesn't believe in, but he's not allowed to drink himself silly when he finds out that he may never see his loved ones again. We have people trying to go about their own business with their own personal religious beliefs, but if those beliefs have the potential to have the remotest effect on another, it's an infringement on their civil rights. We have an education system that doesn't work. We have kids who don't know how to spell simple words by the time they reach 6th grade, but at least they feel good about themselves. We have kids coming from single-parent, drugged-up, neglectful, abusive homes with three generations of family members all under the age of 30, and when a kid snaps and kills someone, we blame the media. We blame society. We blame the system. No one is ever responsible for his of her own actions. We're always looking for a way to get out of things. We have bankruptcy, abortion, and no-fault divorces. We never actually try to make things work. We live in a USA Today society where anything that can't be understood by a 12 year old isn't worth looking at. We sacrifice art for entertainment and money. Self-expression is discouraged. Good art, anymore, is defined as what the public will pay lots of money to see. People don't want individuality. We want all entertainment suited to our specific wants, needs, and desires. We see record sales and box-office grosses as a sign of quality and artistic integrity, but anyone who wants to protect the integrity of his work is accused of "selling out" by not giving what the fans, as a whole, want. Entertainers are encouraged to appeal to everyone as quickly as possible. We don't have the patience to sit and listen to arecord, watch a movie, or look at a painting and try to figure it out for ourselves. We need everything explained in the simplest terms. If we cannot understand it, we dismiss it as stupid or just bad. We can never accept the fact that we may be wrong. If our beliefs contradict themselves, we make up the whole relative truth thing all over again. We don't want to learn things. We want to be right by any means necessary. If our beliefs differ from others', that person is inherently wrong and not nearly as good a person. It's our world. It's where we live. It's what we're stuck with. We all like to think we're smarter than average, but when we get two or more of us together, the collective IQ drops considerably. Society is only as smart as its stupidest member. And you know what the worst part is? I really don't care. 5-21-1 So, I worked my first day at the Morris Inn yesterday. It wasn't bad. I've had worse. Course, I can't imagine anything worse than Christmas at Best Buy, but that's just me. Anyway. Did I mention I finished my Hannibal Lector figure? I also just made Westley from The Princess Bride. I'll be posting them soon, I hope. I hate depression. On Thursday (I believe), Tina and I decided to do lunch at La Esperanza (which, of course, is Spanish for The Esperanza), and I'd been moody all day. I didn't touch my drink or my lunch. I just told Tina I can't be here right now, went to the car, and cried. I hate when that happens (crying for no reason, I mean). It really really sucks. Why is expressing emotion viewed as a sign of weakness? I mean, people go on and on about human nature, and how it's human nature to kill, and it's human nature to lie. If there is such a thing as human nature (and there isn't), wouldn't expressing oneself fall under that? People are stupid, and I hate them. But I'm in a good mood. I wonder what I'll do after work.... Well, gimme a call. 5-15-1 Another day, another ramble. I sneezed. Salsa fries taste like ass. Here's something I've been thinking about: What's with comic duos? I don't mean people like Martin and Lewis or Laurel and Hardy. I mean the more recent ones, like Wayne and Garth or Beavis and Butt-Head. They all have the same characteristics. There's always one with light hair (usually blond) and one with dark hair. Usually there's a smart one whose intelligence is supressed by the overpowering stupider one. I got to thinking where this trend got started, and I decided to trace it back in my mind. There's Jay and Silent Bob, Beavis and Butt-Head, Wayne and Garth, and Bill and Ted. There's also the real-life duos, like Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, Sigfried and Roy, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, etc., but where did it begin? My theory, which is really little more than a guess, is that it all originated with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. In the film, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, Rosencrantz (or Guildenstern) is played by the dark-haired Gary Oldman. (Gary Coleman?) Guildenstern (or Rosencrantz) is played by the lighter-haired Tim Roth. Could this be where it all began? How common is it for these to characters to be played by light and dark-haired actors? I've also noticed that this trend is pretty much limited to white guys. Of course, white guys tend to be the dumbest guys around, so that's not a surprise, but I've never seen it in women. The closest thing I've seen is Magenta and Columbia in Rocky Horror, and that's a stretch. The things that keep me awake at night.... I started work on my Jay figure. Actually, I had finished a Jay figure a while back, but he looked too fat, so I had to carve him down. When I came upon some sandpaper, I didn't have any fresh X-Acto blades, so I had to put it off more. Then I got distracted with the Hannibal figure, but now I'm actually working on Jay again. He's much thinner, now, but still needs work. I'm gonna redo the arms entirely. Tina's unemployed for the day. It's a weird situation. Graduate Programs stopped existing on Friday, and office in Academic Affairs isn't available until tomorrow. IUSB never ceases to amaze me. At least they got rid of Cohen. 5-14-1 So, I'm working on the 20th. Yay me! I hunger. I've been working on the site a bit latelty, but nothing noticeable, really. I got rid of some of my more useless sections, and I'm adding to others. I also have five movies I need to review. I can't seem to find my notes for End of Days, which is a bad movie. I swaer, Robin Tunney cannot make it through a movie without a titshot. It's annoying. Tina doesn't want me to eat, evidently. I wonder how the concert went for Dave.... I was gonna say something else, but I forgot. Anyway, I'm sitting here, not quite used to my new scedule yet, and I'm kinda bored. I still have thoes Star Wars exhibit pics to post and that Albrecht Durer thing to put up. Plus Fuffy needs to update. I'm swamped. Mother's Day was yesterday. Mom was sad. I bet Dad was too, but he didn't let on about it. They both lost their mothers last year. It's their first Mother's Days without mothers. Than can't be good. Toot's doming home on the 26th. I can't wait. I'm thrilled. I miss her. I haven't heard from Matt about the figure. I wonder if he's gotten it yet. 5-9-1 Tina walked last night. Congratulations. (Course, sh actually graduated in December, bout it was nce to see her in cap 'n' gown.) It turns out that a friend of mine from high school graduated, too. I actually saw her afterwards, and we spoke for a short period. It was really nice to see her. I hadn't seen her for six years, so I was really surprised. I sent her an email this morning. I sent Matt pictures of the Matt figure. I forgot to bring the disk in today. I'll try to remembert tomorrow. So, I got a call from Emily the other night. She said that Steve insisted that she and Dave go to the movie and leave him alone. Y'know, I don't even know why I bother giving a damn, but I do. Oh well. I still haven't heard from the banquet hall. I'm starting to get antsy. On the other hand, I still have clothes to buy. Teresa's coming home this month! I've been listening to That Petrol Emotion. We have one of their albums on tape. They sound like a cross between INXS and Rush. They're Irish, too. I like them. (Well, what I've heard, anyway.) I'm thirsty. A lot. Trent's coming over at noon. I wonder what we're gonna do. Ah well. I guess I'd beter try my Poltergist review again. Darn Netscape. 5-7-1 First off, concert was incredible. I reviewed it, so check it out. Steve came home over the weekend. This kinda pisses me off: Steve and Dave had planned on going to See The Mummy Returns on opening night. Dave went earlier that day to pick up tickets. He picked up two tickets instead of three (the third, of course, being for Emily). Well, he realizes his mistake when they all get to the theater, and Dave has Steve get in line for his own ticket. Well, the show's sold out, so Dave does the honorable thing and sends Steve back to his apartment alone, telling him to pick them up at around midnight. What the fuck?? So Steve calls me, and Trent, Tina, and I are watching a movie, so we tell him that he can come on over. Well, he's apprehensive, seeing as how it's Dave's car, and he doesn't really know how to get to the new place anyway. It's understandable. So, Trent and I decide to head over after the movie, which we do. When we get there, Steve is on his way out to get Dave. An evening he'd hoped to spend with his brother shot to shit for no good reason. Trent found a couple of the new Boba Fett figures at Meijer. They were $12 each, and he didn't have enough money, so he did what I would have done. He hid them behind toys that no one buys and picked them up later. I have to say, though, that it's a damn good figure, although, I think the arms could use some ore articulation. The sculpt is perfect, though, and it has what fans and collectors have been wanting for years: a firing rocket. I also got a new Darth Maul (the one with the cloth skirt), and I gave the skirtto my Sith Speeder Maul custom. It's pretty cool. I also finally finished the Matt figure. My nose has been itchy lately. Trent put a sugar packet on my hat. That was very nice of him. Oh, I saw Wings of Desire last night. Great movie. I really like Wim Wenders. It has Peter Falk (Columbo) and the woman from Until the End of the World in it. I recommend it. I kinda wanna see City of Angels to see how much Hollywood ruined it. I have reviews to write. Busy busy busy.... 4-30-1 I hate this lag. Oh well. Guess what. This is where you say what? Let's try again. Guess what. What? I'm gonna see U2 on Thursday. I rock. Guess what else. What else? Very good. I got a job at the Morris Inn. Unfortunately the transmission on the Aluminum Falcon went to hell over the weekend. I'm not sure if I'm gonna get it fixed or not. Tina just told me she can't drive me home. That really sucks, cuz I can't walk much in these sandals. My leg has been hurting lately. I was talking to Matt on AIM, and I offered to make a Matt figure. It's almost done. The hair's not right. Other than that, it looks good. I'm also working on a comic. It sucks. I plan on translating it to a short film that also sucks. All in good time.... 4-24-1 Tina's obsessing over wh Mans0n Fan is (on the boards). I got some great hate mail, by the way. I posted it on the boards. I still need to hear back from Linda the banquet lady. I'll call tomorrow. It's the last week of classes, which means everyone's rushing to get everything in. It's funny when people type up 10 page documents and accidentally unplug the computer by repeatedly kicking the cable. I laugh at the misfortunes of stupid people. Quick, go here. I so need another job. I need money for the Cleveland trip. That reminds me, George, have you found someone to take the ticket yet? I really don't have much to ramble about lately. Oh yeah, I got a nice email from Toot. I keep meaning to respond, but I've been really bad with email lately. Patience, my blue friend. 4-19-1 I'm really more tired than anything right now. Other than that, I'm in a decent mood, I think. I'm also hungry. I need to shave. I need money, too. I'm sooo not gonna be able to afford the Cleveland trip. Which sucks, cause I really wanna go. Meanwhile, I haven't heard back from anyone on the job front, but I know the Morris Inn is pretty slow on that kind of thing. Even so, I'm getting a little antsy. I need a job and all. Went to Dave's and watched Battlefield Earth last night. I'll be posting a review shortly. I woke up about 37 minutes ago, and Fuffy T was really cute, with his big curious eyes staring at me. Kitten just wanted his tummy rubbed. 4-17-1 Were I to describe myself in a word, that word would be inadequate. Whenever I look at myself and my accomplishments, that's what comes to mind. I'm completely inadequate. Sure, I can do some stuff, but either I suck at it, or I'm too damn lazy to do it right. I've proven several times over that I suck as a college student. If I didn't, I'd probably have finished by now. I suck as an artist. I never actually finish anything, just abandon it. I suck as a husband. I think I've proven that many times over. I'm just not good enough. Now, before you start sending me emailstelling me how good a person I am, let me assure you that this is not a plea for affirmation. It's a relization that hit me just recently. I hate when people tell me I'm wrong about myself. Meanwhile, my life is in the shitter. I've decided to pretty much give up on everything, since anytime I do something, it's not good enough, and I'm subjected to seemingly constant ridicule, and I just can't function like that. Broken, bruised, forgotten, sore. Too fucked up to care anymore. Sunday was Easter. As always, we went to my parents' house. As always, we had ham. I lost at Scrabble. I still haven't heard from anyone on the job front. Course, I'm not really caring much abot that either. I need to get some Benedryl or some other medicine that has may cause drowsiness written on the package. I just need to be able to sleep more. Stuck in a moment I can't get out of.... Oh yeah, we're probably not going to be able to afford my trip to Cleveland, so if anyone wants to buy my ticket, let me know. The show's on May 3 and the Gund Arena in Cleveland, OH. The ticket's $52. 4-11-1 I have Wild Irish Rose going through my head. Dave rented Million Dollar Hotel last night. It was incredible. I reviewed it. Sorry. It's not funny. It's a damn good movie, and my review doesn't do it justice. I have an appointment today with my VR counselor, but I cancelled. I'm bad. I'm also tired. Tina made me a peanut butter and honey sandwich for breakfast. I love my Tina. She makes me so happy. I really don't have anything to ramble about, so I guess I'll just stop now, if that's ok with you. 4-9-1 So, I went out looking for jobs. I applied at Hot Topics (aka the goth store), SamGoody, and the Morris Inn. I hope I get the Morris Inn job. It pays well, and they really need help. Evidently, Dave and Emily are sexist, hetero-normative racists. God, I hate ChickClick. They're effing morons. *Yawn* I know the Ramblings aren't terribly interesting today, but not much has happened to me lately. I customized my Luke Bespin figure. I bent the arms so he could hold his sabre with both hands. I know. Thrilling, isn't it? I thirst. I went to Dave's last night. We watched Office Space. Good movie. Brian (Emmons) was in the mood to watch it, since he lost his job, which really sucks for him. I feel bad for him. Fuffy T's being bulemic again. It's getting old and pretty nasty. I had a great opportunity to do a review. You may have noticed I haven't done much of that lately. Well, the reason for that is because we've been completely broke and couldn't afford to rent videos. When we can, though, I have a few movies in mind. Anyway, yesterday, on the WB, they were showing a movie called Crosssroads starring Ralph Macchio and Jami Gertz. You don''t get any more 80's than that. Anyway, it's about a white kid who wants to play the blues, so he hooks up with an old blues man (who played for the late, great Robert Johnson) who teaches him about the blues through life experiences. Come to think of it, that's pretty much the exact same plot as Karate Kid! Unfortunately, for some reason, the broadcast signal went dead, so I didn't get to see the end. What a shame.