One thing I've learned from Silence of the Lambs is that movies about serial killers can be very interesting and original. Unfortunately, Serial Killer is about as interesting and original as its title.
The movie stars Kim Delaney as Selby Younger, a profiler from the FBI, and Gary Hudson as her partner, Cole Grayson. Together, they're out to catch Willian Morrano, the Hannibal Lector wannabe.
The movie begins with Selby figuring out that Morrano is responsible for the killings. Of course, since Morrano's an evil genius, he knew Selby would figure out it was him at that point, so he pays her a little visit. A visit of death! Just as he's about to kill her, he gets distracted by something, and Selby clocks him over the head with a telephone. Now, wouldn't you think a serial killer would be able to ignore little distractions like that, especially a super-genius. But he doesn't, and he goes down, dropping his knife. Now, you'd think that a trained FBI agent would be able to turn the tables quickly by grabbing the knife and incapacitating him, right? Well, no. You see, Selby's a woman in a movie, so she does the next best thing. She runs out onto the balcony and hangs over the edge, giving Morrano plenty of time to get up, grab the knife, listen for her screams and cut her fingers, making her fall to the ground. At about that point, the Cole, the man, shows up and shoots Morrano, wounding him.
Two years pass.
Morrano is in jail with cancer, and Selby is a desk jockey at the FBI. Getting your fingers cut like that is emotionally scarring for the womenfolk, I guess. I wish I was as in touch with the feminine psyche as Hollywood is. Anywho, Morrano volunteers to be a guinea pig for the new cancer treatment, which he needs to have every 90 days or so. Naturally, this offers him the perfect opportunity to escape. So, Morrano's back with a vengeance, and he informs the FBI that he really wants Selby Younger, the woman who figured him out and got him captured, to be on the case. She's reluctant, at first, but ultimately, Cole Grayson talks her into it.
Meanwhile, there's the token reporter who interviewed Morrano for his tell-all book, whiich basically tells all about how Morrano was dealt a crummy hand in life, and it's not his fault he killed all those people. He's a victim of the evil FBI. So, Morrano decides to move in with the guy, use his computer to access secret FBI files, and eat his cereal while joking about being a serial killer. Get it? I'm not kidding.
Selby Younger and Cole Grayson find out that Morrano was there when they find the reporter guy with a severely damaged larynx. Morrano, however, gets away again.
Back at the FBI, the FBI folks have figured out that there's something in common with all the latest victims. They're all connected somehow with Selby. At that point, Selby gets a phone call from her Nana, telling her that there's a nice man at her house, and he was a priest at the old school. Everyone knows who it really is, and they head out to Grandma's house to find that she'd been eaten by the big bad wolf.
Actually, Nana's ok. Morrano decided to spare her for some reason. Probably because viewers don't like their serial killers to murder little old ladies. While they're all at Nana's house, watching the video Morrano left them (The Best of Def Comedy Jam), Morrano does a drive by on poor Selby's friend from work that no one cares about. He goes to the hospital, and Selby goes to see him with her police escort, and she's in the waiting room, waiting for the doctor to tell her that he isn't going to pull through. While she's taking a nap, a little girl with asthma approaches her and asks if she (Selby) is a prisoner and if she (Selby) can read her (little girl) a story. This raises an interesting question: What kid is going to go up to a strange woman who is guarded by a cop and ask to be read to? At any rate, Morrano spots Selby with the girl and eventually kidnaps her (the girl). Selby finds out her buddy is dead and starts crying.
Back at the FBI, they find out that Morrano has kidnapped the little girl, and Selby has to meet him alone. Selby has also figured out that he knows he is going to die if he doesn't get his cancer treatment, but he wants to continue his legacy by having a child with her. So, she goes to the beach to meet him and rescue the girl. Cole Grayson learns about all this and sends some cops after her. Morrano is distracted by the cops and runs away. Selby tries to save the girl, but she's too late. The girl had an asthma attack and died without her inhaler.
So, there's a big press conference, and Cole Grayson is dispelling the rumors that Selby is suicidal, when there's a gunshot from inside Selby's office. They run in and find Selby laying in a pool of her own corn syrup. Obvious suicide, of course. But we learn that it was all fake. Morrano figures it out pretty quickly, too, since he sees her at Nana's house. Now it's time for the final showdown.
Morrano confronts Selby, and she tells him she won't have his baby, so he explains to her that it doesn't matter, because he'll just go back to prison, escape again, and start the whole cycle over until she does. She says it's impossible for them to have a child together because the cancer treatment made him sterile. Morrano is dumbfounded and reaches for his gun. Then Cole Grayson shoots him.
I caught this movie on Court TV last night or so, and I was amazed, simply amazed at the kind of crap these people were willing to broadcast.
First of all, the movie was just lame. It wasn't predictable, but that's only because the writers never saw the opportunities for possible plot twists. Everything is exactly as it seems.
Second, Cole Grayson has only one expression throughout the movie. Just one.
Third, Morrano was obviously trying to be Hannibal Lector. Unfortunately for everyone, he was just too stupid. Sure, he was articulate and a little cultured, but he was still an idiot.
I learned one thing from this movie:
Never watch Court TV.