This movie succeeds in two things:
Like all great movies, this one opens with the main character having hot, passionate sex with his wife/fiancée/girlfriend (depending on whom you ask). It has no bearing on the plot, but it does make one thing very clear. This woman has boobies.
Meanwhile, the w/f/g's sister Sara (since I can't remember her name) is in college doing a production of Shakespeare's MacBeth. She and her two friends, both of whom are also named Sara for the purposes of this review, play the three witches and are the only actual players in this production. The director, a guy who looks like Tom Selleck, encourages them to get in touch with their inner witches. This play opens in just two weeks, and it has to be perfect.
The three Saras go to a graveyard where, legend has it, the Gates of Hell can be found, and there's no Smucker's Raspberry preserves in this underworld. Anyway, the three Saras perform a ritual that summons the dark spirits and informs the viewers that they too have boobies. Their ritual is disturbed when a bunch of college guys show up and start hittin on them. Only one of the Saras is possessed, and she becomes Evil Sara. She has sex with one of the guys, and he dies.
Luckily, the main character, I'll call him Jimmy, is a paranormal forensics expert or something, and he and the w/f/g are in town to see the play. Which opens in two weeks. Jimmy immediately knows something is awry, but he keeps it to himself. The official investigators of the bizarre death know Jimmy from some other movie, and they don't like him.
One by one, the other Saras become possessed by Evil Sara's Evil Sisters. The last Sara, who happens to be the w/f/g's sister, doesn't want anything to do with it, but they force her into it, and there are boobies abound. Then they kill the play director by stabbing him repeatedly in the eyes, so the evil overlord Arnold can possess his body, and they can open the gates of hell. Now, here's a problem. Why is it that the Evil Sisters can possess the Saras' bodies without killing them, but Arnold needs a dead body? And, even if he does need a dead body, why do they kill him by stabbing him in the eyes with a pencil? Why not just cut off his oxygen intake by strangulation or suffocation? It seems so much more practical, and there's no damage to the eyes. In any event, Arnld possesses the director guy, and his sight is miraculously restored. Now all they need is the stone key to open the Gates of Hell. Finding it shouldn't be a problem. They just rape a priest, drive a monsigneur to suicide, and kill an old nun.
There's boobies in there somewhere.
Jimmy finally tells the detectives what he thinks is going on, and they find the three Evil Saras and Arnold trying to open the Gates of Hell in the graveyard. Luckily, they are able to stop them by destroying the key. The evil spirits are sucked back into Hell, and the three Saras live happily ever after.
The production value of this movie is that of low-rate pornography. The dialogue is stilted and dumb. The effects are monulmentally lame. It's a horrible horrible movie, but it was still better than Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft, which I will be reviewing next.