The Unforgiven

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is not mine regretfully, neither is The Unforgiven. *sighs* it’s nice to dream though..

// this // denotes lyrics... *these* denote thoughts...

//New blood joins this earth, and quickly he's subdued, through constant pain disgrace, the young boy learns their rules//

A tiny boy sat motionless on a steal tabletop looking at another man in a white lab coat. “Dr. J...” the small voice died off as the gray haired man turned to face him. The little boy had deep brown hair and deep cobalt eyes. He quivered in the cold of the lab as the man approached him grinning broadly.

“Yes boy?” the cylinder shaped eyes bore into the deep blue orbs sharply.

“What are you intending for me to do?” his voice was sturdy but deep inside he felt he was in shambles. A wicked grin spread over his face “Just follow any and all orders from myself and the staff.” the man turned away. “I have no use for you right now. But I will soon enough.” there was an explosion of nerve racking laughter that made the boy’s eyes widen in fear.

*What do they want with me?* He shivered more then slid from the table to get a blanket to put over his bare body. He pulled it tightly about him as if it were his only security. A door opening caused him to jumped slightly. In walked in one of the doctor’s assistance and upon his face was a sardonic grin that caused the boy to step backward. *Not again. Please, not again.*

“Come here boy!” the man commanded with an evil tone. Dropping his head, he stepped forward holding his breath. “There’s a good lad.”

*I’ve been forgotten. I’m nothing.* He cried in his heart as he submitted to the abuse.

// with time the child draws in, this whipping boy done wrong, deprived of all his thoughts, the young man struggles on and on he's known //

A young teen stood near the giant foot of the Gundam named Wing. The empty gaze scanned over the huge hulk of body slightly impressed. “I’ll pilot this?” the tone was almost as empty as the look in his eyes.

“That’s right young man. You will. If you are a good boy.” he turned to once more meet the green cylinder lenses of Dr. J scanning over his body in the same way he had looked over the mobile suit. “Ready to prove your worth?” the grin he knew so well crossed the old man’s crumpled features.

*Is this all I am worth?* He dropped his gaze from the man and returned it to the Gundam. “Aa.” the simple reply made the man grin even wider. *This Gundam will be my only release.*

// a vow unto his own, that never from this day, his will they'll take away//

“Your mission name will be that of the peace oriented leader of twenty years ago.”

“Understood.” he deftly worked his hands over the control panel as he listened to the orders given to him by the doctor standing beneath the Gundam. *I’ll finally be free of them...* Somewhere inside of his mind he smiled. *They won’t ever break me... I will have my own free will...*

With this the pod exploded out into space, hurtling the boy now named Heero Yuy to the blue and green marble called earth. *Finally...*

// what I've felt, what I've known, never shined through what I've shown //

Heero sat up stiffly sweating in waves. *It was only a dream.* He pressed a hand to his forehead gingerly then silently slid off the bed. He sauntered over to the window and opened it to allow the cold breeze to ruffle his hair. His body shivered as the sweat on his body made his temperature drop. *Why can’t I leave all these memories behind? Is it so hard to forget?* He closed his eyes slowly. *I am no one. That’s how it will always be.*

He stepped back when he heard a knock on his dorm room door. *Who...* He walked cautiously to the door and paused before it. “Who’s there?”

“It’s me.” the cheery voice echoed in his ears and caused his stomach to tie in a knot. The door opened slowly to reveal the teenage boy with violet eyes staring at him with what seemed to be concern. “You ok? I heard you from my room.” the boy moved uncertainly.

“I’m fine.” the tone was cold even though Heero felt his heart jump toward the boy. *He cares about you!* Heero shook his head in a way that the braided boy didn’t notice. *Impossible. No one cares about me.* With this visions of the assistance and the doctor looming over him flooded his mind. *NO!* He winced.

“Heero...” Duo reached a hand toward him only to be pushed away.

“No... goodnight Duo.” with this the door closed in Duo’s face.

// never be, never see, won't see what might have been//

Sitting on a bench in a park, Heero watched a small boy playing with a large red ball. The giggling caused Heero’s eyes to widen slightly in pain. *No. Don’t think about it.* The little boy looked in his direction and smiled brilliantly. Stumbling slightly, the child made his way over to Heero giggling with each step.

“Hi!” the small voice called out as the innocent face smiled up at him.

“H-hello.” Heero muttered in surprise.

“You look sad!” the child proclaimed boldly. “Here!” he handed the large red ball to Heero who looked completely shocked at this point in time.

“Thanks.” he took the ball gently and attempted to smile.

He looked away as the boys mother ran over to him to scoop him up in her arms. “But momma!” the little boys protests went unheard as the woman dragged him away.

“Don’t whine! What have I told you about strange and mean looking men like that?” the voice rang in the seemingly deaf ears.

*Now I’m a torment to little children.* His cobalt eyes stared at the red ball and they began to sting in pain. *No... don’t think about it... your past can’t be changed...*

// what I've felt, what I've known, never shined through what I've shown//

Walking to the safe house a cold breeze nipped at his bare arms and legs. His normal attire of a green tanktop and black spandex shorts seemed to be the wrong choice at this point. He wrapped his arms around himself and sighed to himself. *Another mission complete. And for what?* He staggered up to the door and paused. *Another night alone. Happy Yuy?* He pushed the door open slightly to feel a rush of heat wash over him. *Warm? But how? No one is suppose to be here but me.* He stepped in and closed the door behind him.

A head popped around the corner beaming at him. “Oi! Hee-chan!”

“Duo...” Heero winced. “Don’t call me that.” *I don’t deserve such an endearing title.*

The boy stared at him a moment at a loss for words, then ran over to him with a blanket to wrap around his shoulders. “Sorry Heero.”

Instinctively Heero gripped the blanket just as he had when he was a child. He gazed up into the violet eyes in surprise then smiled slightly causing the other boy to take a step backward. “Arigato Duo-kun.”

// never free, never me, so I dub thee unforgiven //

Heero stared at the laptop screen quietly as new mission assignments flooded in. *There’s never an end to these things is there J?* He growled as he received the last remark from the doctor. “Hurry back lad, we miss you.”

“Heero?” he turned to see Duo in the doorway staring at him. “You ok? You look pretty shaken up.”

“Just fine.” he said with finality in his cold voice. *Please... Duo... I just want to be me with you... but I can’t... Damn you J!*

// they dedicate their lives, to running all of his, he tries to please them all, this bitter man he is//

“Ninmu ryoukai.” The strong voice growled as the mission screen faded. *Just another suicide mission.* He lowered his head as he stood. *Not that anyone cares how hard I work to accomplish these God forsaken missions...* He walked out to the place his Gundam would be waiting for him. *I’m killing myself... and for what? The sake of the mission? Or the people that sent me?* He growled as he looked at Wing. *Nothing has ever been done for me... Never will...*

// throughout his life the same, he's battled constantly, this fight he cannot win, a tired man they see no longer cares//

*I’m just the perfect soldier. Trained assassin. Killer.* He blinked wearily as he sat in the cockpit of the monstrosity. *Just do your job. That’s all that matters. Live by my emotions? Sure... why not. Nothing matters anyways. * Something inside of him combated his thoughts. *You’re wrong, something does matter. Admit it.* He grit his teeth as the enemies began to appear on the vidscreen. *NO!!*

// the old man then prepares, to die regretfully, that old man here is me//

On the fields of Siberia, Heero stared at the new suit called TallGeese. Lady Une’s voice filled the empty air about him. She was threatening to destroy the colonies if they continued the assault. He shivered. He didn’t want those people to die. His eyes became tired looking just as Dr. J’s face appeared on his vidscreen.

“I surrender, but I will not give up the Gundams.” Heero smirked at the words coming from the old doctor’s mouth.

*This is it. My release.* He nodded as the cockpit hatch opened and he stepped out. “Ninmu ryoukai.” With this he pushed the self-destruct button, sending his mind into a pain filled dark oblivion.

// what I've felt, what I've known, never shined through what I've shown, never be, never see, won't see what might have been//

Heero sat down on the shoreline staring out over the sea. Beside him Duo sat wide-eyed and smiling. Heero smirked softly as he turned his gaze upon the bubbling teen as he chattered endlessly about how beautiful the scenery was here. *You’re beautiful Duo. *

“Hee-chan?” Duo looked into his eyes inquisitively. “Are you always this quiet?”

“Aa.” he gave his single syllable answer without hesitation. “I like to listen to you.” He felt something inside burn as the heat filled his smooth cheeks.

A smile spread widely across the braided boy’s face and the eyes dances in the flickering sunlight on the waves. “I like being with you Hee-chan.” He leaned his head on Heero’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

“I love you...” he whispered softly to the boy clad in black. *I won’t think of what could have been... I’ll think of what could be... with you...*

“And I you...”

// what I've felt, what I've known, never shined through what I've shown, never free, never me, so I dub thee unforgiven//

*Dr. J... I’ll never forgive you. Never. * He glared up into the sky. *You took my life away from me. Not just for peace, which wouldn’t have bothered me...* He shivered. *But for your own enjoyment!* His face contorted with anger.

“Hee-chan?” the soft voice disturbed him from his thoughts. “Why are you so scared to let me touch you?”

“I’m sorry Duo-kun... it’s just...” he stopped and closed his eyes.

A hand caressed his cheek gently. “It’s ok Hee-chan... I’ll go as slowly as you need me to.”

Heero smiled and kissed the boy’s forehead. *Arigato... You are the only one I’ll ever let touch me of my own desire... But... Damn you J!*

// you labeled me, I'll label you, so I dub the unforgiven//

Swallowing hard Heero looked into the amaryllis orbs and smiled. “I want you Duo... I want you to take me...” Duo looked at him quietly drinking in every detail. “Help me open up to you...”

Duo smiled warmly then slipped his arms around Heero’s waist softly. “If that’s what you want love.” Heero nodded as Duo leaned in to kiss the silky skin of the other’s neck, nipping and suckling here and there. Heero groaned softly at the delicate and sensual touches.

*This isn’t like what they did...* Heero gasped. “Oh Duo...” *J... I hate what you did to me.. but you can’t take this away from me... Duo... oh Duo...* His arms slid about the black clad soldier pulling him closer. “I love you Duo-chan... Always...”

Duo pulled back slightly and smiled as he planted butterfly kisses all over Heero’s face. “And I love you for always, koi...” with this, Duo kissed him deeply pulling Heero into a deep oblivion of love and warmth.

*Oh Duo... I swear I’ll never let anything happen to you... ever...*

~owari~

back to My GW Fan Fiction
back to GW Fan Fiction
back to GW Main Page