"Damn!" Julie snapped at the vast amount of knobs and settings in front of her. She had been up half the night, working on a new piece when the mixer went on the blitz. "Piece of shit," she said as she threw her pencil down on the board.
The band had a schedule to keep up with, and Julie was getting stressed out. She was tired of doing the same old cover tunes every night, and wanted to use more of the original work in their set and weed out the covers. She had found a studio just outside of downtown Dallas to record their first promo cd, and was trying to find the right songs to use. With the money the band makes at the club, they shouldn't have a problem paying for the recording time. Julie just doesn't want to spend most of the time in the studio trying to decide with the rest of the band on which songs to do.
She sits back, lights a cigarette, and takes a long drag only to blow an almost perfect smoke ring into the air. Holding the cigarette in one hand, and playing with the string of hair that had come undone from her ponytail in the other, Julie's mind goes into deep thought. She thinks about the times when she and Ken had nothing to spend on equipment, much less enough money for rent. Not that anyone in the band is rolling in it now, she just knows that it is getting easier than it used to be on her pocketbook. Ken was the first guy she had ever known that only was interested in a friendship with her, instead of a romantic relationship or a roll in the hay. They had remained friends now for almost ten years, and she thinks of him more as a brother than anything else. He had stayed by her side through her nasty divorce, telling her that if she ever needed a place to stay she could always move in with him and his family. She instead ventured out on her own for the first time in several years, and was becoming more independent every day.
"You alive in there?" Ken's voice slowly faded into her mind, waking her from her daze. She looked up to him, almost startled, and started to laugh.
"Oh yeah, just taking a break." She said back to him, flicking the ashes from her cigarette into her Dr. Pepper can. She looked as if she hasn't slept in days, and Ken was starting to worry about her. He knew all to well what she can do to herself if she started stressing out too much. Julie's history with kidney problems was always something that has kept Ken protective over his best friend. He knew that if she stressed too much, she would start having problems with her health, and that was something that he didn't want to see happen to her.
"What's up?" He asked, lighting his own cigarette- a habit he has since tried to quit in the past ten years to no avail.
"Shit." She laughs, "It's fucking up again." She pointed to the mixer board.
"Nothing that a little tweaking won't fix." Ken said, looking over the damage to the board. "What's it doing?" He asked.
"It's fading in and out...a bit of static. Channel three is completely out, tho, and I think there is something wrong with the midi bar." Julie said, yawning.
"When was the last time you slept?" Ken asked.
"I've been up since three this morning." She said to him.
"And, why?" He asked again, sounding more like a father.
"Couldn't sleep, Ken. You know me. You know what I always do when I can't sleep." She said.
"You could've called me, or Karen." He said. "If anything, I could have come out here to help you with this..." He said, noticing the scribbled bars on a piece of paper in front of him. "New song?"
"Maybe." She laughed. "If I can get past the first few bars." Julie looked over at the keyboard, frustrated that she had fallen into a block. She was actually glad that Ken had showed up, because he had this way of helping her get out of her mental blocks by strumming along with her on the guitar. Most of their music that they had written together was in the middle of the night when they were both going through writer's block.
"Where is it?" He asked, looking for the old practice acoustic guitar.
"In the closet." She said.
Ken fished the guitar out of the closet in the corner of the small practice studio that Julie had made in her garage. When she moved into the house, she knew that the garage wouldn't be used to park her car in. She and Ken had spent hours soundproofing the garage, hooking up the electrical wiring for the lights hanging from the ceiling. They also built a soundproof room for the drum set, as well as a small room for the mixer boards. They had some recording equipment, but it wasn't anything that they would want to use for an actual cd.
For about an hour, Ken had figured out what Julie was going for in the new song, and they were writing like mad. She had spit out a few lyrics, hurriedly writing them all down on the same piece of paper. She would later transfer it to her computer and copy it on disk, as she always does for everything that they write. Soon, they took a break.
"You ready for tomorrow night?" Ken asked her.
"Think so." She said quietly.
"It's supposed to be big, you know." He said.
"I know." She said.
"What's wrong?" He asked. "Something is on your mind, I can see it." He said to her.
"You think we'll ever get any farther than playing Deep Ellum Live?" She asked.
"Hell, I thought it was a pretty good gig, actually." He said, matter-of-factly.
"It is a good gig, "She said. "That is not what I meant."
"I know what you meant, Jules." Ken grinned. "The answer is yes, I think we will go farther with this band. It's just a matter of time, I think."
"Ten years, tho, Ken. Ten years is pretty long." Julie said.
"Well, remember, that six of those ten years, you were being held back by that ex of yours. So, really, it has only been four for you to really get into this." He pointed out to her. She sat in silence, knowing that what he had said was so true. Brutally true. Her ex-husband never liked the idea of her being in a band, even though she had been in the band when they met. In the beginning, he thought it was cool, but eventually that idea of his changed after their first child was conceived. Slowly, she pulled away from it all and became a full time mom and didn't get back into the band full-speed until the year before her marriage broke up. She knows that her need and desire for music was what started her marriage to crumble to the ground. His infidelities was what bolstered it to the breaking point.
"I think it is just my nerves. Maybe lack of sleep, who the hell knows." She said with a sigh.
"Do you have to work tonight?" Ken asked her after a long pause.
"Yep." She said.
"You should get some sleep then. " He said to her.
"I think that is a good idea." Julie said, smiling.
"I can take the kids over to my house for a while so you can get some rest alone. Jimmy would love to play with them." Ken said.
"That's an even better idea." She said. Jimmy was only two months younger than her youngest son, and the three boys played together as if they were all brothers.
"That's what I'll do then. " Ken said to her, while putting the guitar back into the closet. He headed into thehouse to find the kids playing quietly in the den, coloring in their coloring books and talking about dinosaurs and motorcycles.
"You sure you can handle them?" Julie asked following him into the house.
"Oh yeah, I can. Karen's home today, she finally got a day off from work." He said.
"I'll be by later on to pick them up. Then they'll go to their dad's house while I'm at work." Julie said, while getting her sons' backpacks together. She leaned down to kiss her sons on the cheeks, and sent them on thier way. Finally she might be able to get some actual rest for once. After they had left, she headed for the bed.
He sat in the chair next to the window in his hotel room. He was looking out on the Dallas skyline, watching the famous ball do its nightly light show. That ball is what he had seen in every picture that had to deal with Dallas, and remembers the first time he had seen it back in 1984. It was when the band had visited Dallas for the first time in their carreer, and they played at Reunion Arena to a huge crowd of screaming teenaged girls. At the time, he was so drugged up, he thought the ball was an acid trip, but now he knows that it was the drugs that made that ball so amazing to him. Reunion Tower is actually what the ball's name is, but he'd rather call it the big nut.
He was in town to check out some possible venues for an upcoming tour, and thought he'd make it a small holiday. The man at the front desk of the hotel had mentioned the club scene in Deep Ellum, which was just down the road, and recommended for John to go take a look while he was in town. John was a bit wary of going out on his own in the middle of Dallas, and wasn't sure if he should try his luck. He knew that if he stayed in that hotel room another night alone, he would certainly go insane. Maybe just start by going out to dinner. He thought that if he at least tried that first, he could muster enough courage to go out on the town alone, and without an entorage. Hell, it might actually be fun.
The evening was a bore at first. He decided on going to dinner at the restaurant downstairs. It was either that, or venturing outside of the hotel and into the Galleria Mall that connected to the west entrance of the hotel. He'd rather stay away from any malls, for the mere fact that he could get mobbed by a few fans that would recognize him. The waiter was very friendly, and John had thought that the man might be gay from the way that he kept talking incessantly to him. He had suggested the house specialty, which was shark steak, and John shuddered the thought of having anything that was once a predator. He settled on a burger and french fries and topped it all off with a cappucino. It was a bit absurd that his burger cost him almost ten dollars alone, and wondered if something from McDonald's would be just as good. Laughing at himself, he signed the check and went on his way.
He had rented a car while he was in town, and got detailed directions on how to find this Deep Ellum place that the concierge had raved about. Apparently, the streets of downtown Dallas can get a bit mixed up and confusing, and a person that is not from the area could easily get lost, so he paid close attention to the man's instructions. Before long, he was on the road looking for the parking lot that the man had told him to use. When he found it, he was wondering if the lot would be safe enough to park his car in, noticing that the area was quite dark and suspicious, but he did see that there were several cars that were much nicer than his rented corvette in the lot. He paid the lot attentdant, stuck the ticket in the dash window, and parked the car in the next available spot. He noticed that he was on Elm Street, and headed east towards the club circuit on foot.
The first few places that he had come upon didn't seem to be the type of club that he would want to go in. Most of them were dance clubs, with some odd characters hanging out in front of the doors. He saw a couple of street musicians on the sidewalks, and stopped for a while to listen to them perform. He dropped a few dollars into the guitar case of one older man that looked as if he had once been a hippie back in the 1960's. His music was all political, but John liked what he heard. It was raw and dark, almost sad in a way.
Before long, he found the club that the guy back at the hotel had told him to check out. It was called Deep Ellum Live, and there was a small crowd outside the doors lining up to get inside. He noticed that they were checking ID's at the door, and he got a bit sickened, hoping that noone would know who he was. His turn at the door was up, and the beefed up guy at the entrance looked at him, and said "go in". He obviously knew that John was over 21 by the looks of him, so why bother asking the man for his id?
The air inside was heavily coated with cigarette smoke. Some people inside were smoking clove cigarettes, and the smell was lurking throughout the entire club. There was a wall of bars on one side of the club, with bartenders every ten feet or so. Some people were congregating on one end of the bar already, taking advantage of the drink specials before they ran out. He stepped up to the bar, and found a seat.
"What'll you have?" The bartender asked him.
"Do you have any coffee?" John asked.
"Yeah, expressos, cappucinos, you name it." He said.
"Ok, I'll take a mocha." John said to him and the bartender quickly got the drink for him. John tipped him well, and sat back in his chair to smoke a cigarette. He noticed a flier on the bar post, with a picture of a band that was scheduled to play there that night.
"How are these guys? They any good?" John asked the bartender.
"Oh yeah, they play here every weekend night. They've become quite popular here. I think they kick ass, if you want to know the truth." The bartender said to him.
"What time will they be on?" John asked.
"In about an hour from now. Where are you from man?" The bartender asked, noticing his accent.
"England." John said.
"You're a Brummie, aren't you?" The bartender asked.
"How did you know that?" John asked him, curiously.
"My mother's from there. She never lost the accent even though she has lived in the states for over thirty years. I'm Don." He said, extending his hand to John.
"John." John said, shaking Don's hand.
"Nice to meet you man. " Don said.
"Same to you." John said back.
"Don, have you seen Ken?" Julie interrupted suddenly. She had been looking for Ken for the past thirty minutes, and was hoping that he wouldn't be late.
"Hasn't showed up yet, Jules." Don said. "You want me to try to call him?" He asked her.
"No, I'll do that, thanks. Sorry for just barging in on your conversation." She said, not even noticing John at the bar. She turned and headed towards the backstage door, all the while John noticing her every move.
"Who was that?" John asked.
"Jules? She's the lead singer and bass player of the band you'll be seeing tonight. She's a good girl." Don said.
"And she can't find her husband?" John asked.
"Ken, her husband? Hell no! He's her guitarist." Don laughed. "She's been divorced a few years now. She's a bit bitchy at times, though, but I still love her to death." Don said to John.
"How long have you known her?" John asked.
"For about three years now. My wife and I used to live by her, and I helped her get the gig here."
"You're a good friend then." John smiled.
"Hey, if they weren't good, I wouldn't have done it." Don pointed out.
"Come on Ken, hurry your ass and get here!" Julie mumbled to herself. She was hoping that it wasn't car trouble that was keeping him from getting there. Usually he isn't late for a gig, but tonight seemed to be more important to her than anything. She wasn't sure why, but she just had a feeling about this evening that wouldn't let up on her.
Just before she could go insane, Ken and Tommy walked through the back door, hauling their guitar cases inside. "Oh thank God!" She gasped.
"What? You think we were going to be late?" Ken laughed.
"Of course not." She said, smiling.
"Jules, wouldn't miss this night for the world." Ken said.
"I need a drink." Tommy said. "I'm parched."
"Sounds good to me, Jules you wanna join us?" Ken asked.
"Sure. Let's just not get drunk before the set, guys." She warned. She thought of the time when their old drummer had gotten plastered before a gig, and stopped playing midway through a song and walked off the stage. Before that happened, he was throwing sticks all over the stage, because he was too drunk to hold on to them. She knew that Ken and Tommy wouldn't do that to her or the band, and the new drummer is somewhat of a non-anything compared to the other guy. She doesn't even think that Jerry drinks caffeine, but he plays better than anyone she has seen in a while so it doesn't matter to her. The three of them headed towards the bar where Don was chatting it up with a tall gentleman.
"Don, give me something man, please." Tommy begged while Ken was laughing.
"Hey, good to see you two guys made it in. Jules was getting worried about you." Don said, while pouring a jack and coke for Tommy.
"Traffic on 30 was slow tonight." Ken said, looking over at Julie's embarrased face.
"I knew you would make it, it's ok for me to worry a bit." She said, trying to hide her blushing.
"Here." Don slid Tommy's drink over to him and then looked at Ken. "You havin' the same?" Don asked.
"Of course." Ken answered.
"How about you, Jules?"
"Just a coke, thanks, and some hot tea." She said to him. She noticed that the man Don had been talking to was looking at her throughout the exchange. She looked over to him, wondering who the hell this man was and decided not to really worry about it. Probably some drunk, or one of Don's new prospects for the week.
"Are you guys the band that is playing tonight?" John asked Ken.
"Yeah, I'm Ken." He said, shaking John's hand.
"I'm John." John said to him. "Looking forward to hearing you play."
"Thanks man." Ken said, thinking he has seen this guy somewhere before, but wasn't sure where.
"This is Jules, our lead singer and bass player." Ken said to him. John looked at her, noticing that she wouldn't look him in the eyes.
"Hello Jules, nice to meet you." he extended his hand out to hers. Julie looked up at him and quickly shook his hand.
"Yeah, hi." she said to him then turned to Ken. "We have thirty minutes to get everything set up." Julie said to Ken. John stared at her in wonder for a bit, watching the exchange going on between Julie and Ken. She didn't even notice that he was in the room, which normally didn't bother John the majority of the time. This time, it seemed as if it was a knife into his heart. He couldn't explain why he felt that way about it.
"Jerry here yet?" Tommy asked while Julie and Ken were going over the set list for the night.
"Yeah, he's backstage setting up, which is what we should be doing right now." Julie said with the tone of voice that resembled a stern English teacher more than a musician's.
"You'll have to excuse Jules' attitude. She gets this way every time before a show." Don said quietly to John, who was getting more interested in what Julie did with every second that passed by.
"It's entirely understandable." John whispered.
"Don, see you after the show." Julie said, and with a flash she had taken her cup of tea and dashed towards the backstage door, followed by the rest of the band.
"Can you calm down just a bit?" Ken laughed at Julie, who seemed all the more nervous than anything.
"Nerves, Ken. Nerves." She rolled her eyes at him and strapped on her bass.
The club had filled to capacity within minutes, and soon it was time for the band to go onstage to start their set. There were all types of people in the crowds- some gothic groups in one corner of the club, others seemed to be fresh out of prep school. The air was heavy and electric, people milling around the entire club, some screaming words of anticipation for the band to start the show. Before long, the announcer came out on the stage followed by a heated applause.
"Everyone ready tonight?" The older man with a gray ponytail yelled into the microphone. The crowd's roar filled the room. Julie was standing in the wings, stamping out her cigarette and taking a quick drink of her tea.
"For your enjoyment tonight, I present to you the band straight from Dallas, Adverse!" He yelled, his voice cracking followed by an incredible shriek from the clubgoers. He quickly ran off the stage, and the band walked out to take their places. John had not moved from his seat, and was watching intently as the band started their set.
They did a few cover tunes, some that had the crowd singing in unison as Julie held their attention. One of the songs was an original that apparently Julie and Ken had written just a couple of weeks earlier, and the crowd seemed to love it more than the familiar tunes that the band had performed. John was impressed with their style and the way they had the attention of everyone in the club. It reminded him of his early years with Duran Duran in the Rum Runner. This band had an apparent following, and it was obvious that they needed some more exposure than what they were getting. He was enthralled with Julie's voice, how it floated with ease but had a roughness that he hadn't heard before.
Don was dancing furiously behind the bar when the band did their rendition of "I Wanna Take You Higher", and John laughed silently to himself at the fact that Duran Duran had done that same song on the Thank You album. He looked over the crowd, their bodies pulsating in unison on the stage floor while the band pumped out the rhythms of the song like professionals.
"What do you think of them?" Don yelled at John over the crowd.
"They're great!" John yelled back, smiling widely.
"If they could just get something out of this. They've worked too hard to not get noticed, you know." Don said while giving John another mocha cappucino.
"You never know what can happen, my friend." John said. He had an idea at that point that would be perfect, only if he can get Julie to sit down with him and talk to him about it.
"Don, can you do me a favor?" John asked after a few moments of gathering his thoughts.
"What can I do?" Don asked.
"Get me alone with Julie for a bit. I have an idea that I think can help her and the band more than anything." John said with confidence.
"I can try, but what do you have in mind?" Don asked warily.
"Oh, it's not that. It's a business proposition I have for her." John pulled out his wallet and took a business card from the indside pocket and gave it to Don. "I am starting a record label, and I am interested in signing them on."
Don looked over the card and noticed that John wasn't kidding about what he was saying. He then looked at the name on the card, John Taylor, and took a second look at the man sitting in front of him.
"No shit?" Don exclaimed, after making the connection. "You were in Duran Duran, right?" He asked.
"Uh, yes, I was. Doing my own thing now." John said to him, actually happy at that moment that Don knew who he was.
"Shit this is too cool! I lost my virginity while listening to Rio." Don laughed.
"Well, that's a first." John laughed. "Usually it's Led Zeppelin or the Rolling Stones, but this is the first time I have heard someone say they had their first shag to Rio."
"Hey, I'll see what I can do for you, ok." Don said. "After the show, I'll go back there and tell Ken about it. He can get Jules over here. The rest is up to you." Don turned to take care of another waiting customer at the other side of his station, leaving John smiling towards the stage and Julie singing her heart out for the crowd.
"He's who?" Ken asked Don in shock.
"The fellow from Duran Duran." Don said to him, hushed. "He wants to talk to Jules about your band making a record with his label."
"No shit?" Ken gasped, taking a drink from the almost empty water bottle.
"NO shit." Don confirmed.
"I can't believe that Jules didn't recognize who he was. " Ken was in disbelief. "She loved Duran Duran years ago."
"Well, the guy has changed a bit. Either that, or she just didn't notice or care to notice. You know how she can get at times." Don said quietly, noticing that Jules was heading thier way. She had a wide smile on her face, seemingly happy with how the show went.
"Guys, we kicked ass tonight!" She giggled, kissing Ken on the cheek.
"Hell yeah we did." Ken laughed.
"Do what I asked, ok?" Don said to Ken then walked back to the bar.
"Do what?" Julie asked Ken.
"Oh, he wants us to join him at the bar for a celebratory drink...on him, of course." Ken smiled.
"After I clean up. I'll be there in a few." Julie said, then headed towards the dressing room to change.
She always hated how she felt after a show. Sweat never appealed to her, but it was something you have to take with this type of life. She turned on the water in the sink and washed her face and hair. The rest of the band always kidded her on the amount of clothing she took with her while doing a gig, but she didn't care. The last thing that she wanted to do was smell like a farm while mingling with the others after a show.
Julie quickly applied some makeup, dried her hair and changed into a fresh outfit. She's been doing this for so long now, she can get done in less than thirty minutes. She decided to let her long, wavy, dark brown hair lay naturally tonight instead of pulling it up in a french twist. Instead of the tight jeans and half shirt she wears onstage, she chose a pair of black pants and a matching black jacket to wear after the show. She didn't look like the persona onstage, and she liked it that way. She picked up her purse and headed out the door to join the others at the bar.
When she approached the bar, she noticed that Ken was in deep conversation with the man that was talking to Don earlier. John looked over to see her walking towards the bar, and was taken back by the way she looked. She didn't seem to notice John as much as he noticed her. It seemed as if she was intentionally avoiding him. She walked up behind Ken and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"Anything interesting going on?" Julie asked. Ken turned to her and smiled.
"Thirsty, Jules?" Don asked over the huddle of musicians in front of him.
"Just water for now, Don." Julie said to him. Don quickly set her glass in front of her, and Ken gave Julie his seat next to John.
"I was just telling Ken here that you guys were really great tonight." John said to Julie. She looked at him briefly and smiled.
"Thanks for that." She said, taking a sip of her water.
"You're a very gifted bass player and singer. I was impressed." He tried not to sound like he was trying to pick her up.
"I appreciate that, thanks." Julie said. She fished out a cigarette from her purse, and was about to light it when John quickly pulled out his lighter and held the flame under it for her. She then locked eyes with him, and knew who he was at that moment.
"I know you from somewhere." She said to him, her mouth slightly at a grin.
"Maybe." John said raising his eyebrows.
"No, I do know you from somewhere. I mean, I know who you are." She said to him again, her grin disappearing.
"I don't believe we've ever met before this night, Jules." He said to her, noticing her expression.
"No. We haven't met before. But, I liked your band years ago. When I was younger." She said.
"Oh my, and you're wondering now what I am doing in this place, eh?" John asked, trying to sound comedic.
"Well, that thought did cross my mind." She said while resting her chin on her hand.
"In town doing business. The guy at the desk recommended this place." He said, taking a drink from his mug.
"Where's the bottle of vodka, John? You give that up?" She asked dryly.
"Ouch." John smirked, "That was harsh."
"Sorry. I've heard stories in the past. I shouldn't have said it." She said, knowing that she must have hit a nerve.
"That's alright...maybe I deserve it." He said quietly.
"So...what's the big interest in what I have to think anyway?" She asked him after a quiet moment.
"Well, not just what you think, but what you have in mind for your band's future is what I am interested in, Jules." John said.
"Call me Julie."
"Ok, Julie. I am not sure what you think of me exactly, but I would like for you to consider what I have to say to you." John said. Julie pursed her lips tightly, not allowing her eyes to leave his.
"And what would that be? I dare to ask." Julie snapped.
"I have a studio that I am starting up. I am looking for new talent to showcase and put on the label. Your band is very good, damned good, and I want for you to sign on." He said, his face serious. Julie sat in silence as John explained to her what he had in mind for the band. They would immediately move out to LA, after getting everything in order at home first, then start recording and pushing the new cd on the road. She thought that this was too good to be true, and was not sure if she should even consider his offer. The thoughts of her having to uproot her children and move them 1200 miles away was another thing she wasn't so sure about.
"John," Julie interrupted him, "This all sounds great, but it is really something I would need to think about."
"I can understand that. I put this on you so suddenly, I don't expect you to just jump right in and say yes or no right away." John said to her.
"I mean, I have kids. I have a family, a life here. I really need to think this through." She said quietly while fidgeting with her nails.
"Kids? That's nice. How old are they?" John asked, trying to shift the subject.
"Two boys. One is 7, the other is 6." She smiled. She opened the small locket hanging from the chain around her neck and showed John the small pictures of the boys inside. He leaned over close to her to look at the picture of the two blonde-haired children and smiled as he breathed in her perfume.
"They are handsome kids. You must be very proud of them." John smiled at her.
"More than anything. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I have to live for them, not just for myself." She said.
"I feel the same way about my own child." John said reflectively.
"So, you understand why I can't make a decision about this so quickly." Julie pointed.
"Yes, I understand." John said. He took her hand and placed his card in hers.
"There is a number on the back of this card to where I am staying for the next two weeks. Think about what I have said to you tonight, and give me a call."
"Ok, I'll think about it." She said. He stood up from his chair and picked up his coat.
"It was a pleasure meeting you, Julie." He said as he took her hand in his and kissed it lightly.
"Nice meeting you, too, John." She said to him. He said good-bye to the rest of the band and left the club and Julie sitting in amazement in the chair.
A week had passed since she met him, and she couldn't figure out if she wanted to leave everything and follow her dreams or just stay where she was at. Ken had hounded her since that night about the proposition that John had given them, and he was anxious about her saying yes. He couldn't understand what was exactly holding her back from making a decision, and he knew he would have to get to the bottom of it.
Julie never called John that entire week. Every time she picked up the card with his number scribbled on the back, she froze completely. She called her mother and told her about what had happened, and her mother was at first very excited about the prospect of her daughter's possible trip. She then realized that it would mean that her grandsons would be moving far away, and it dulled her outlook on it all. Julie was so close to her family, and hated the idea of moving so far away from them. Her father was her best friend until the day he died, and she knew that if he was still alive her answer would most definitely be no. She wasn't married anymore, so she didn't have a husband holding her back, but at the same time, she didn't want the kids to be so far away from their father. She was confused, and she hated the fact that she didn't have any control over anything at that moment.
It was late at night, and the kids were at thier father's house for the weekend. The band had no scheduled shows until another week, so Julie decided to have a quiet night at home alone. It had been a long time since she was able to do it, so she welcomed the thought with open arms. She was sitting on the couch watching tv. Mostly nothing was on at that time of night, just the usual infomercial and music videos on VH1. She turned the tv off and switched on the stereo to listen to some CDs. She started thumbing through her collection of cds, and found one that both brought a giddy but churning feeling in the pit of her stomach. She popped it in the rack and pressed play. Before long, the familiar sounds of John's bass playing was thumping through her speakers. She listened intently to her favorite song on the CD, and sang along to the words.
Because you're lonely in your nightmare let me in...
"Damn you, John. You were easier to connect with when you were untouchable." She laughed to herself. She stood up and walked into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. She stopped drinking alcohol a few years ago, after suffering a horrible kidney infection. Now, the hardest thing she will drink is a cup of expresso from Barnes and Nobles. Her cat, Tiger- a shorthaired orange house cat, was milling around her legs as she stood in the kitchen. She picked up her mug in one hand, and leaned over and scooped up Tiger in the other and headed back into the livingroom. She sat on the couch, tossed her hair back and listened to the CD playing in the background.
"What should I do, Tiger?" She asked the cat that was purring loudly on her lap. He looked up at her and meowed.
"What was that? I should say 'piss off' to him?" She giggled. The cat meowed again, then rested his head on her lap.
"Oh, you mean 'call him'. I see. You're as bad as Ken." She said, exasperated. She glanced over to the phone and saw the card that John had given her sitting on the table next to it. "What the hell." was all she could say before picking up the reciever and dialing the number. It rang three times, then the operator picked up. Julie asked for room number 617, and was quickly transferred. It rang for what seemed forever until a weary voice answered the phone.
"Yeah, ello." John's voice was sleepy.
"John, I'm sorry if I woke you up." Julie said, almost feeling scared that she disturbed him.
"Who is this?" He asked, still sounding as if he was asleep.
"This is Julie, from the other night at the club. You gave me your number." She said, hoping that he wouldn't be upset.
"Julie? Hello. How are you doing?" His voice quickly changed to an alert tone.
"In hell. I've been thinking about what you have said to me." She said to him.
"And.." John's voice was calm.
"Can we talk some more? I don't know what type of schedule you might have, but I would like to talk to you again before you leave." She hurried.
"Anytime you want is fine with me." He said to her, a smile on his face.
"Now ok?" She asked. He sat up in his bed, almost startled by her request.
"Now? Well, where? I mean, yeah, now is fine, but don't you have children there with you?" He asked.
"They are at their dad's house this weekend. I can meet you, or we can talk here, or there. Just someplace... soon." She said.
"It's your choice. You know the area better than I do." he said to her.
"That's true. Well, I could meet you in the lobby at your hotel. How about that?" She asked.
"That's fine. When do you want to do this?"
"I can be there in about an hour." She said. He looked at the clock and noticed it would be close to two am by the time she got there.
"Ok, I'll meet you downstairs. You know how to get here?" He asked her.
"Yeah, you're at the hotel in the mall right?" She asked. He laughed softly at her description.
"Yes, that one. " He grinned.
"Ok, be there in a bit then. " She said, and hung up the phone.
John sat on the edge of his bed for a moment looking at the phone in disbelief and smiled. He then realized he should probably clean up before seeing her, otherwise he might scare her off. He stood up and went into the shower.
Julie found the hotel easily, and parked her car inside the parking garage adjacent to the hotel entrance. She hurried up to the elevator that took her to the main lobby of the hotel and sat in one of the many sofas that lined the lobby's walls. The lobby was dead at that time of night. Some of the hotel's guests came milling in slowly, noone noticing her sitting alone looking like a frightened child in the corner. She looked at her watch and noticed that she was a few minutes early, and tried to relax before John showed up. After a few minutes, he entered the lobby and found her sitting quietly reading a magazine.
"Julie." John said. She looked up suddenly to see him smiling at her. He wasn't dressed as chic as he had been the other night. He actually looked normal, wearing a pair of jeans and a black tee shirt. He had a baseball cap on, covering his long hair, and the leather jacket he was holding in his arm matched the cap.
"Hi. Thanks for meeting me at such an early notice." She said to him. He looked at her, noticing that she looked much younger than she did the other night. Maybe it was the fact that she was dressed down and had her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, but she was still stunning to him.
"It's ok, really." John grinned. "It's nice being pulled out of sleep by a phone call from a young lady." She laughed nervously at him, and stood up.
"Hungry?" She asked.
"Actually, yes I am." He said. "What do you recommend?" He asked.
"There's a great place down the road from here. We'll go there." She said. They walked out of the lobby together.
They ended up eating at a Denny's down the road from the hotel. It was the only place she could think of going to at that time of night, and still get some privacy to talk to him in a safe environment. The coffee was horrible there, but the food was alright. John devoured his Grand Slam breakfast faster than she could finish her thoughts. The conversation was fun, punctuated by his grand stories of life on the road as a Duran, and her stories of life as a single mom. He talked of art school and the days of when he was a starving musician, which Julie knew too well about. She talked about her past problems with drinking and how she managed to quit or suffer serious health problems. John learned a lot about Julie that night in just a short amount of time, and he had more respect for her than he had for a lot of people at that point.
"You know, the one thing we haven't talked about was the reason you came to me in the first place." Julie pointed out after three hours of chatting.
"You're right. I just don't like to push." John said to her. He leaned back into the round booth and studied her closely.
"I still am not sure about what my answer would be, but I haven't said no." She said.
"I'm taking that as a good thing." John smiled.
"Could be. Until they warn you about the temper I have." She laughed.
"Used to that too, Julie." John laughed. "No, really now. You must be considering it, though. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here talking to me."
"True. I think I just wanted to get some time to talk to you outside that club. You know, mix a bunch of screaming people induced with booze, excitement of a singer after a good show. Just not a good mix to talk." She said. " I wanted to see what you were like outside music. Outside the watch of the public eye."
"To gage on whether or not you can work with me, right?" John asked.
"Right." She said. "Of course, this is just the first time we have dealt with each other on a personal level." She was right, and John knew it. She was also very smart when it came to getting what she wanted out of life, and he admired that.
"What do you suppose we do then?" He asked after a moment.
"Talk with the rest of the band. Have a meeting, maybe. Better yet, a barbeque." She smiled.
"A Barbeque? That would be interesting." John laughed.
"My place tomorrow night. I'll invite the guys and their families over, and we'll have a talk." Julie suggested.
"I'll be there." John smiled. "Are you planning to be the one to oversee the grill?"
"Shit no." Julie laughed. "That's Ken's territory."
The next day was hectic. Julie called everyone and was able to get them to commit to the evening's plans. She couldn't get Ken to commit until she told him who was going to be there, and he rushed over to her house after they got off the phone. He was sure that she was going to say yes to the idea of signing on with B5, and he couldn't wait to find out. She told him that she was closer to yes than no, but that would be all for now.
"Did you talk to him?" Ken asked.
"Yes, last night." She said while cutting potatoes into little cubes.
"What happened?" Ken asked. He was going nuts.
"I met him at his hotel and we went to Denny's to eat. It was a nice chat." She said.
"How romantic. You took him to Denny's." Ken joked.
"Nothing like that, Ken." Julie whined.
"Ok, so what about after you ate?" He nudged.
"Get your mind out of where ever it is, Ken. It didn't happen." Julie laughed.
"But, you wish it would." He said.
"When I was a teenager, yes. But, now, sex is not the only thing I have on my mind. In fact, it is the last thing I have on my mind." She said, throwing a cube at his face.
"Julie, you are living every woman's dream from the 80's. You had a night out with John Taylor, and you mean to tell me that you didn't want it." Ken grinned.
"I'm not all bent out of shape when it comes to gettin' it, like you are, Ken." She joked. She turned and filled the large pot full of the small potato cubes and covered them with water. After setting the pot on the stove burner, she turned to Ken with a serious look on her face.
"It's not that I don't think he is sexy, Ken. He is. He's a great man, and I learned a lot about the business from him last night. I just have to keep this entire thing under a certain perspective. It has to be for the band, not for my lack of sexual contact with men in general." She wiped her hands on the washcloth on the counter top.
"I know what you mean, Jules." Ken said, soothingly. "I understand. I know you more than you know yourself sometimes, and I can see that you have thought very hard about this." Ken paused, then bent on one knee. "But please say you'll do it." he begged humorously.
"Get up!" She laughed. "You're making a fool out of yourself."
"Please! Please! Please!" Ken laughed.
"Ok, Ok, listen." She yelled. Ken stood up quickly.
"I am closer to saying yes to this, but you have to stop that!" She said.
"Ok, I'll stop." Ken said, walking over to give her a hug.
"You promise?" she laughed.
"I promise." He said, holding her tighly. "You know I love you, sis." He kissed her on the cheek.
"I love you too, you shit." She kissed him back.
John was the first one to arrive at Julie's house that afternoon. He drove slowly through her neighborhood, noticing how quaint and quiet the area was. It wasn't a rich neighborhood, but it wasn't run-down, either. There were small homes lined up in a row, with flower gardens in the front yards. Some children were playing on one side of the street, and he spotted an older couple sitting on the porch at one of the homes he passed. It was a surprisingly spring-like day, considering it was in the middle of February. It seemed everyone was outside enjoying the weather. It was a perfect day for a cook-out.
He pulled up into the driveway and parked the car. Her house was a cute brick home on the middle of the street. He saw two bicycles resting up against the side of the house, and assumed that her son's had left them there in a rush. He smiled at how normal her life seemed compared to his, and hoped that if she said yes, she wouldn't lose that normalcy that she is used to. He walked up to the door and rang the bell. After a couple of minutes, she threw the door open, smiling at him.
"John! You're early." She said, her eyes wide.
"Sorry, Julie. I thought I would leave earlier so I wouldn't get lost." He explained.
"No, that's fine. I just didn't expect you to be here so soon." She laughed. "Come in." He walked into the house, and could smell something cooking in the kitchen.
"Smells good in here." He said. She took his jacket and placed it in the hall closet.
"Thanks. Just some potato salad, cornbread, baked beans. Nothing special." She said.
"Sounds great." John said. He walked to the livingroom and sat on the recliner. She had apparently been watching a movie when he arrived, judging from the way the couch looked. There were a mountain of pillows on the end of the couch, as if she had propped herself up on them to relax.
"What are you watching?" John asked.
"Something on HBO. " Julie said. "A documentary of some sort. Just taking time to chill out before anyone gets here." She grinned.
"And I ruined that for you." John laughed.
"Not really." She smiled.
She walked into the kitchen to check on the cornbread in the oven.
"You need any help in there?" John asked.
"You can come in here if you want." Julie answered. She was pulling out a tray of cornbread muffins from the oven when he walked in.
"Oh, she's a homemaker slash singer. What a combo." John joked.
"Watch it, or you'll get hot muffins all over your back." Julie threatened. She set the tray on the top of the stove and turned off the oven.
"Threats." John laughed. "Will get you nowhere, my dear."
"That's what you say now." She joked. She didn't look where she set her oven mit, and accidentally touched the burning hot tray with her finger.
"Shit!" She yelled. John rushed over to her, and took her hand.
"You burned it pretty bad, Julie." He walked over to the icebox and pulled out a small piece of ice and placed it on her hand. Holding her hand gently in his, he rubbed the ice slowly on her fingers.
"It's not that bad." Julie whispered. "Just hurts a bit."
"It can get bad if you don't treat it quickly. You're a mom, you know that." John said quietly. He kept rubbing the ice on her hand, looking at her face. She looked up at him and smiled.
"Seems you know what to do, John." She joked. "Been burned a lot before?"
"Naw. Took first aid once." He grinned. He didn't stop looking into her eyes.
"Thanks." She said, keeping her eyes locked on his.
"You're welcome." John said. He stood there for a moment, then started leaning towards her, his eyes never leaving hers. His lips lightly brushed up against hers, and he brought her into his kiss. Tender at first, but soon grew passionate as they stood in an embrace for several moments. Julie wasn't sure about how long the kiss had lasted, but it was soon broken by the knock at the door.
"I should get that...it could be the guys." Julie said, her eyes smiling. John released her from his grasp as she turned for the door, only to rush back to him for a quick kiss, leaving him breathless before she went to answer the door. It was Ken and his brood at the door, and he could tell that he might have interrupted something by the look on Julie's face. All he did was smile at her in a way that Julie knew as he walked inside the house.
"Hey, John. What's up?" Ken smiled, as he went to shake John's hand.
"Waiting for you to start the grill." John smiled. He looked at Julie who's eyes were locked on John. She smiled at him, then turned to Jimmy and picked him up to give him a hug.
"Hey baby. What 'cha got?" She asked the boy.
"Power Ranger. It's the Red one." He said to her.
"Cool." she said.
"Where's Jeremy and Nathan?" He asked her.
"They'll be here in a bit. Their dad is dropping them off so they can play with you." She said. Jimmy smiled as she took him into the kids' room so he could play on the video game system.
"My son can't come over here unless her kids are here." Ken joked.
"She's good with kids, isn't she?" John asked.
"Too good." Ken said. "She's a good mom."
Julie's kids showed up shortly afterwards, and the three boys were playing in the back yard. John had helped Julie set up the plates on the tables outside on the deck, while Ken fought with the flames in the grill. They never said a word to each other about the kiss while everyone was there. John couldn't wait to get her alone again, and Julie was hoping that it wouldn't be a late night with the rest of the band. She was rather anxious for everyone to leave now, so she could talk to John alone. Ken noticed the way that John and Julie were looking at each other, and knew that something had happened between them. All he could do was smile, and hope that she wouldn't get hurt. Somehow, he knew that she wouldn't.
The night went well. The band talked about signing with John's label, and had a vote. They all decided to give it a shot, and made arrangements on when they would leave for LA. Ken was beside himself with joy at the idea of actually doing something with his music besides just playing in clubs. It was a dream of his since he was 12 to actually go somewhere with it. Julie was smiling the entire night, knowing that she was doing something right for once. She had already talked with her ex-husband about arrangements. He would keep the kids for the next few weeks while she got settled in LA, then she would fly back out to get them. It would be hell for her to be away from her sons, but she didn't want to just take them out there, and not be settled in. This would be for the best, and she had to convince herself of that.
Around midnight, everyone started slowly leaving the house to go home. Her sons were fast asleep in their room, exhausted from playing with Jimmy. Ken scooped up his son quietly so not to disturb him, and gave Julie a quick kiss on the cheek and told her he would call her in the morning. Before long, Julie and John were alone again, and couldn't find a thing to talk about.
"You seem happy." John said to her. She was smiling. They were sitting next to each other on the sofa, her head resting on his shoulder. The house was quiet, except for the dull hum of the television set.
"I think so. It's going to kill me being away from my boys, tho." She said.
"It won't be for long." John said.
"John, can I tell you something without you getting upset?" She sat up, looking him in the face.
"Yes."
"I don't want you to think that I am going to do this because of what happened earlier. I made this decision last night. Not before Ken showed up. What I mean, is that I don't want you to think that I am using you in any way." She said. He looked at her seriously for a moment, studying her eyes.
"I don't think you are." He said. "Although, it is nice to think that you would like to use me, I know you wouldn't." He smiled.
"Oh, please." Julie grinned. She lifted her hand to his head, and ran her fingers through his tangled hair. He placed his hand on her back and pulled her towards him for a long kiss.
"On second thought, I wouldn't mind using you..." She whispered.
"Just be gentle." He cracked.
The next morning, John awoke early. He didn't feel it would be right for the kids to see him in the house so early. He nudged Julie softly to tell her that he would go back to the hotel and see her later that afternoon. She understood, and kissed him softly before he left. The ride back to the hotel was almost in a complete daze. All he could think about was her. He collapsed onto his bed and smiled before he fell asleep.
Julie got up around 8:00am that morning. The kids were starting to wake up, so she started breakfast. She would spend most of the morning with them, then they would return to their dad's house for the rest of the weekend. She was scrambling some eggs when the phone rang.
"Good morning." John's voice was on the other line. She smiled, feeling giddy at the same time.
"Good morning." She said back to the phone.
"Sleep well?" He asked.
"Until you left I did." She said.
"When can I get you alone again?" He asked.
"Around noon. I'll be all yours after that." She said.
"Can't wait. That's four hours. I guess I can make it until then." John smiled.
"You're a big boy. You can handle it." Julie laughed.
"It's not really me that I am worried about. It's you, my dear." He joked.
"Oh, I can wait." Julie whispered. Nathan had walked into the room at that point, looking for food.
"Kids in the room?" John asked.
"You got it." Julie said.
"See you at noon, my love." John said huskily.
"See you then." Julie said, then placed the phone on the base.
The next week was incredible. The band had booked a flight for three weeks later. Julie would be going out to LA with John in a week. She had to tie things up first for the kids, and spent a few days with them alone without John. She wanted to ensure the boys that she wasn't leaving them forever, and spending quality time with them was warranted. She told the boys about the ocean and going to the movie sets when she takes them out to LA. They were excited about it, and hoped that they would see someone famous when they get out there. She promised them that they would.
The rest of the band was getting their own lives in order. Everyone quit thier jobs, started packing what they would bring with them and selling everything else that wasn't worth the move. Julie allowed her ex-husband to move back into the house so the boys would be where they were comfortable. By the time she had to leave, it was getting harder for her to walk away from her sons, although temporary. The day arrived, and Julie was feeling bittersweet. She knew that it would only take a couple of weeks until she sent for the children. Just the thought of going to LA had her so excited, but there was also a knot in the pit of her stomach. She said her good-byes to her sons, tears filling her eyes, and left for the start of her new life in a new place.
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