Thoughts and Feelings7-22-99 My brothers Birthday is comming up and there are a lot of feelings and emotions going through everyone that was close to my brother right now. I myself can say that I am feeling extra lonley and down so far this week. I look back to all the things that the family did for my brother and all the fun that we would all have. I plan on baking a cake and remembering his life. I find that I cry at the stupidest things remembering him in the strangest ways. I have taken his death and tryed to use it to help me help others and that helps me deal with the pain. But for some reason this time when I try to focus all my pain into good I only find that there is more pain there. I have a memory book that I keep thing in that remind me of my brother and that helps a lot. I have made my brother a card and hope that I will be able to take it to him soon being that he is barried in another state.9-12-99 Well alot of time has past sence I have lost my brother. His birthday has past Memorial day has past and I have made it through a lot better than I thought. I am dealing with every thing a lot better. 10-23-99 Well it has been a year sense i lost my 5 friends to herion Overdose and almost a year sense my brother has died. I still cry and I still wonder why and I still have those really bad emotional days. But I got this web page to help me keep the memories alive and that helps a little.
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