A rookie police officer was out for his first ride with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people."
A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner... NOW!"
Intimidated, the people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"
Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop."
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A young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.
"Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
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Q: Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A: Because if they had four doors, they'd be chicken sedans.
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Having flown for eight years with the US Army, I understand this one; in fact I think I flew with this guy.
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During the "rush hour" at Houston's Hobby Airport, my flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it. We were then told a new gate number, which was some distance away. Everyone moved to the new gate, only to find that a third gate had been designated for us. After some further shuffling, everyone got on board, and as we were settling in, the flight attendant made the following announcement:
"We apologize for the inconvenience of this last-minute gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., then you should 'deplane' at this time."
A very confused-looking and red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. "Sorry," he said, "wrong plane."
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A man approached a beautiful young woman in a supermarket and asked, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" she asks.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."
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There's a famous fable concerning a skunk, a lion and a hawk who were debating as to which one was the most dangerous and feared animal in the jungle.
The hawk claimed top dog: "I win because I hit 'em from above, and from above, I have the best view of all. I can see things nobody else can!"
The lion rejoined: "Nonsense! I'm the most powerful animal of all, with the longest, sharpest teeth and claws. I'm the most dangerous, for sure!"
Then the skunk said: "I can stink up the whole jungle and run out every man or beast in the territory."
And so they argued, on and on, until a big old bear came along and swallowed the three of them, Hawk, Lion and Stinker!
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More latter.
If anyone would like to co-author this forum, I'm looking for someone
I can trust. You must believe in the Bible as the inspired word of
God and that it supercedes all tradition and experience. If you are like me in this way send an email to th1bill@softhome.net.
Your servant in Christ,
Bill