The Primary Sunday School Class was selling Bibles to go on a field trip. After the first week the teacher told them to answer with how many Bibles they had sold as she called the role. She called Sally and heard four, then Billy and heard five, next Bobby and he replied three. Then she called Ronnie and he answered a-a-a-a-aaa hundred. She was astonished and asked, "A hundred?" Ronnie answered, "Ye-ye-yes ma-ma-mam.".
The teacher then asked, "Ronnie, how'd you sell a hundred bibles in one week?" Ronnie began, "I-I-I just wa-wa-went up to the fa-front door aaand I ask them, 'Do ya-ya-you w-w-want to ba-buy a Bible, or d-d-do you wa-wa-want me to read it to you.'"
The traveling salesman broke down in front of the farmers house. After several minutes the salesman determined the problem and approached the farmer to ask for a screw driver and a monkey wrench to which the farmer replied, sure son, come on out to the tool shed with me. As they walked the salesman told the farmer he had seen a 3 legged pig on the way up to the house and wondered if he knew anything about it. The farmer answered Sure do. It's the most amazing story you've ever heard, two weeks ago my son was swimming in the tank out back and he got caught up in the green vines that grow in there, and he drowned. That pig was the only one there and he jumped in and chewed the boy loose and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and pulled him out. Then he jumped up and down on his chest until he began to breath....... saved the lads life. The salesman stammered b-but what does. Now waite just a minute son, I ain't through. Last week I was hookin' my seven bit plow up to the three point hitch on my tractor and just as I slipped the last pin in the tractor jumped into reverse and because I had left it running, it backed up against the plow and it stalled with the wheel on top of me and was killin' me. That pig climbed up on the supper structure of that plow and climbed his way to the top and lept over to the seat where he battered his head into the gear shift until he knocked it out of gear and the tractor rolled forward and off of me,....saved my life. Finally the salesman shouted, What does that have to do with that hog walkin' around on a right rear wooden leg? Slowly the farmer turned to him and asked, Now son,...surely son.....you wouldn't eat a hog like that more'n one ham at a time!
You flip a nickle, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one....Kally, age 9
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming....Allan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all the way before, and you got to find out later who you're stuck with....Kristen, age 10
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then!....Cam, age 10
No age is good to get married at... You got to be a fool to get married!....Freddie, age 6
A farmer had been ripped off several times by the local car dealer. One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow. The farmer priced his unit as follows;
Basic cow......................................................499.95
Shipping & handling........................................35.75
Extra stomach..................................................79.25
Two tone exterior...........................................142.10
Produce storage compartment........................126.50
Heavy duty straw chopper..............................189.60
Four spigot/high output drain..........................149.20
Automatic fly swatter........................................88.50
Genuine cow hide upholstery..........................179.90
Delux dual horns................................................59.25
Automatic fertilizer attachment.......................339.40
4X4 traction drive assembly.............................884.16
Pre-delivery wash and comb..............................69.80
FARMERS SUGGESTED LIST PRICE;..............2843.36
ADDITIONAL DEALER ADJUSTMENTS...........300.00
Total list price (Including options).......................$3143.36
