Over the years, many people said things, and many of them were written down. And posted on this website. In honor of the 2004 Hokey Home page, many, many quotes dealing with love, like, dislike, gender, relationships, and other subjects of that nature were gathered together for your viewing displeasure. It's like a clip show, but on my website instead. Fun! Eye strain! Migraines! And more!

Quotes

• "Oh, come on! You're a girl!" --Charlene W., 2-15-97
• "Happiness is having eight electrons." --Ms. Gornek, 9-25-97
• "Helen, you've been hanging around yourself too much." --Susan L., 1-11-99
• "Fractions are our friends. We like fractions." --Ms. Brown, 4-12-99
• "They were afraid the body was booby-trapped." --Ms. Fisher, 9-16-99
• "I've been tsked." --Oneika A., 9-17-99
• "No Jims allowed." --Lynn P., 9-23-99
• "Wait! I think I like it!" --Chantal M., 10-7-99
• "This is pretty important early in life--finding the nipple." --Mr. Thornberg, 10-20-99
• "That better not be my Jack you're abusing! It is! Stop abusing my Jack, you Jack-abusers, you!" --Ms. Fisher, 10-21-99
• "I'm 38, and I couldn't care less about the gross national product." --Coach Welch, 12-2-99
• "I don't want to go to time-out!" --Dominique ?, 12-2-99
• The muffin started to tumble off my coffee, and since it was a nice soft muffin, I didn't want it to fall, so I let go to catch it. The coffee spilled out through the lid and kind of soaked me." --Mr. Cohen, 12-7-99
• "NO!! My tongue!" --Sally W., 12-13-99
• "He likes to hop around and eat furniture." --Frau Gerstacker, 1-13-00
• "Did Momma drop you on your head this morning?" --Ms. Waihman, 1-14-00
• "I'm allergic to chocolate. Physical chocolate, not mental." --David L., 1-18-00
• "Maybe he's talking to me. Maybe she's talking to me. Maybe I'm talking to myself." --Lori M., 1-24-00
• "Oh, he's combing his eyebrows! That's so cute!" --Helen L., 1-27-00
• "I'm picking my AP team. Do you want to hear the starting lineup?" --Mr. Cohen, 2-1-00
• "It doesn't say 'I wandered lonely as a cumulus cloud.'" --Ms. Fisher, 2-11-00
• "Girls are falling down from the sky." --Morgan T., 2-11-00
• "Kaider, stop turning around and bothering Jonathan. Jonathan's not turning around and bothering the blackboard." --Mr. Cohen, 2-14-00
• "Are you, uh, wearing your makeup, Steven?" --Mme. Alnaamani, 2-18-00
• "Well, I didn't like it because it took apples in vain." --Ms. Fisher, 2-18-00 (in reference to "A Poison Tree" by William Blake)
• "Let's all just point at Anthony and laugh." --David L., 2-28-00
• "We need our outline with it?! That's homosexual!" --Nate N., 3-3-00 (in reference to the requirements for our research paper)
• "You don't like my name? That's a bunch of beef stroganoff. That's what Mr. Johnson said." --Tiffany L., 3-6-00
• "Why's it pink? Pink makes me nervous." --Patrick H., 3-6-00
• "You shut up and be the nice boy you never are!" --Tiffany L., 3-7-00
• "What's wrong with your eyes? Oh, it's the reflection of your notebook." --Mme. Alnaamani, 3-8-00
• "I want you to put yourself into a group." --Mme. Alnaamani, 3-8-00
• "I don't know! So if you don't vote for someone, they can beat you up!" --Ms. Fisher, 3-20-00 (why the ballots for prom king and queen were not anonymous)
• "Torture by poetry." --Ms. Fisher, 3-22-00
• "A 92? Dang it! Mommy's gonna whip me tonight!" --Debra W., 3-25-00
• "I'm a good girl! I go to church! I go to church as often as I can!" --Katherine S., 3-25-00
• "So we have the other members of the family, the invaders..." --Mme. Alnaamani, 3-30-00
• "I wouldn't be like this if my uterus weren't trying to crawl its way out of my stomach." --Morgan T., 3-30-00
• "I saved your life! You should think for me!" --Jack L., 3-31-00
• "Okay, your first assignment is to do my work for me." --Ms. Fisher, 4-11-00
• "What made you think I looked especially cute today?" --Jim P., 4-18-00
• "Anyone else want to be in the circle of friends?" --Mr. Cohen, 4-26-00
• "Hit me. Just hit me hard. I want to hurt." --Christi D., 5-18-00
• "Home is where the tree in the center of the world is." --Dr. Rothschild, 9-8-00
• "Don't divide me up! I like where I am!" --Katherine S., 9-9-00
• "I really am! I'm married!" --Katherine S., 9-16-00 (She's not.)
• "Aw! He's so cute, even as a smiley face!" --Helen L., 9-23-00
• "I want God to kill all my friends just so they can see Agamemnon was wrong!" --Dr. Marenchin, 9-26-00
• "Wolves are very shy people." --Dr. Moore, 9-27-00
• "Home is not where the heart is, home is where the hurt is. It's not this cute little thing, it's where...your parents kill your spirit." --Dr. Marenchin, 10-10-00
• "It's just an immense mess of cake, and pie, and...white things!" --Dr. Marenchin, 10-24-00 (on weddings)
• "Where's the love, the romance? Where's the feeling? Where's the wedding? It's in a petri dish!" --Dr. Marenchin, 10-24-00 (on artificial insemination)
• "Maybe I'm into going out with my friends and just being corrupt together." --Dr. Freeland, 11-3-00
• "You know when you fall asleep on your arm, and it goes to sleep, like beyond the 'pins and needles' stage, when it's passed out cold? Then you're like, 'Oh my God, somebody's arm is in bed with me!'" --Dr. Colbert, 3-19-01 (Never happened to me.)
• "I'll walk miles for Winona but not calculus." --Brad S., 5-13-01
• "The good news is, I got asked out today. The bad news is, it was a guy." --Jeremiah H., 6-26-01
• "But I'm violently shy." --Brad S., 7-20-01
• "Oh look, I got my phone book! Full of blank pages...again!" --Susan L., 7-30-01 (her sarcastic response to my suggestion that everyone's number be unlisted)
• "Don't be flattered; I'm just going to use our friendship to get lasagna." --Helen L., 8-30-01
• "Hey! Stop killing the things I love!" --Helen L., 10-15-01
• "I like the way 'trigamy' sounds. It sounds like a math term. 'Hey, have you learned trigamy yet?'" --Andrew C., 10-20-01
• "Would you want a friend to shove a sweaty foot down your throat, then shove you inside a smelly shoe?" --Helen L., 12-5-01 (on being friends with socks if they had souls)
• "Once my mom bought me a beret. She said, 'Here, you can be Monica Lewinsky!'" --Helen L., 12-5-01 (My mom returned the beret shortly afterwards.)
• "I figured out the obvious reason as to why I couldn't marry Garfield." --Helen L., 12-11-01 (and it's not what you think it is, either.)
• "You were out of your bed before I saw! I missed it! It was only because I was being friends with my plaid duck." --Susan L., 12-24-01
• "What kind of threesome are you talking about?" --guy in class, 12-26-01 (a question posed to the prof in my Sociology class)
• "Wait! What's she doing?! She's crazy! She's nuts! I like it!!" --Susan L., 1-2-02
• "So you're just waiting for the perfect kidnapper to come along, huh?" --Santos G., 1-5-02
• "I think that I have another stalker..." --Santos G., 1-9-02
• "But I don't like to sexually threaten guys that I don't know." --Santos G., 1-9-02
• "How can you not have fun with your hands down your pants?" --Elizabeth S., 1-12-02 (Ah, that strange, strange Caillou with his line of suggestive children's books.)
• "The reason I tell you this is because all of you, I hope, will get married." --substitute teacher at Chinese school, 1-12-02
• "If I wanted women who fought back, I wouldn't pursue paraplegics." --Jeremiah H., 1-12-02
• "St-o-o-op! You're invading my poisonous bubble!" --Susan L., 1-16-02
• "He makes me want to have his baby, even though I can't have babies!" --David V., 2-6-02 (on a mall security guard)
• "Helen cannot corrupt anyone! Helen is too sweet, innocent, and kid sister-like!!! Leave me to my delusions! I like them; they are nice, cuddly, and safe!" --Jeremiah H., 2-24-02
• "I always like the people in the books I read, but they're usually dead." --Stephanie L., 3-16-02
• "If you say it every day, it's not a working assumption anymore; it's a plea." --Dr. Lutz, 3-21-02 (on "I love you")
• "You know, I am kinda seeing one guy right now, although I don't think I want him for my boyfriend. You know, he doesn't eat cheese. At all! How can I be with somebody who doesn't eat cheese? We will move in together and lead a cheese-free life. I don't think I can do it. I am addicted to cheese." --Kinga B., 4-7-02
• "I had this Geography teacher. She had the most fun teaching us the game called 'Geopardy.' She loved Geopardy. We had to play it every time we went to class." --Andrew C., 4-20-02
• "I like these stairs. They're very sturdy." --Susan L., 4-20-02
• "How unfortunate! I want him to move to Poland! He can live with me, we can buy a cat, I will learn to cook, it will be so wonderful. I need to convince him!" --Kinga B., 5-31-02
• "Hmm, we in Poland birth babies. We also have babies, but it doesn't mean we birth them. It means we just have them; someone else might have birthed them. Yeah, this conversation has gone in some weird direction." --Kinga B., 6-5-02
• "They all know each other; they have eggs...it's weird." --Steve H., 6-8-02
• "I love you, darling! KRRKXX!! You're not leaving me, even if I have to kill you." --Dr. Walden, 6-20-02
• "Grrr, I got hit on by silly Mexican-American custom officials trying to seize my wine." --Alice C., 7-3-02
• "Any questions about sexual harassment? Now that you know how to do it, okay!" --Ms. Smith, 8-5-02
• "Sometimes childhood friends are boring. It's not their fault." --Susan L., 10-5-02
• "Oh, we look up to our husbands?! I must have missed that...." --Dr. Babcock, 10-8-02
• "He looked at me like I was a side dish he didn't order." --Dr. Agan, 11-13-02
• "I don't care what kind of corpses you leave in my bed; you'll always seem like a good friend on paper!" --11-25-02
• "Helen, do you want to be a guy with me?" --Christine L., 12-29-02
• "Are you putting on makeup or doing drugs?" --Helen L., 1-12-03
• "I saw another random person that seems to have that genetic combination that I currently find particularly interesting!" --2-5-03
• "Your lips keep glittering at me! Make them stop!" --2-24-03
• "I've never loved a gynecologist like I love this woman!" --Dr. Scovill, 2-27-03
• "Why aren't we dancing?" --Mme. Billington, 3-1-03 (in an accusatory tone to her French class)
• "Never fear, I shall always remain your big sis, even though the incest has ended." --Elizabeth S., 3-23-03 (Bad statement to take out of context)
• "I cry less when my rats die than when my people die." --Dr. Scovill, 3-27-03
• "It's hard to find people to talk with about books 'cause they all have weird tastes. And they're the wrong tastes!" --John G., 3-29-03
• "I'd definitely use the octopus on a first date." --Tikku S., 7-5-03
• "It's like being married. Being alive, being dead is a condition." --Prof. McGaha, 9-5-03
• "I'm meeting people, but what happens after that varies." --Tom P., 9-21-03
• "I'm getting the impression that you like the raccoon more than me." --Jim P., 10-11-03

Liners

• "So Heathcliff is happy because he's about to reach Catherine? That's why he's in Whateverland?" --Alice L.
• "Yeah, Whateverland." --Jonathan M., 2-14-00 (discussing Wuthering Heights)

• "Why are you all staring at me?" --Mr. Cohen
• "We find you so sexy." --Austin M., 3-21-00

• "Austin, stop being so...gay." --Mr. Cohen (Austin has chess pieces stuck on the ends of his fingers)
• "What?! What?! Mr. Cohen, you understand!" --Austin M., 2-29-00 (runs over to Mr. Cohen and hugs him)

• "You always go out drinking! You never bring me! It's always about YOU, YOU, YOU!" --Nick F. (talking to Mr. Cohen)
• "What's going on here?" --Amber K.
• "I ask you to do something, and you never do it." --Nick F., 3-24-00

• "Somebody got a pencil?" --Jonathan M.
• "Here! Take mine!" --Austin M.
• "Um...no." --Jonathan M.
• "So what you're saying is, my pencil isn't good enough for you." --Austin M.
• "Yeah. Pretty much." --Jonathan M., 4-18-00

• "Tiffany, we don't love you." --Mme. Alnaamani
• "Augh!" --Tiffany L.
• "But she gave you gum!" --Sara W.
• "I don't care." --Mme. Alnaamani, 5-12-00

• "Well, remember back then, I was 10, and I really liked Sharpies?" --Helen L.
• "I like their smell." --Susan L., 8-1-00

• "My husband sings it to me all the time!" --Katherine S.
• "Ooh! Today's my anniversary...my 4th anniversary!" --Helen L.
• "Of what?!" --Debra W.
• "My marriage." --Helen L.
• "Who are you married to?" --Stephanie L.
• "Someone." --Helen L.
• "Cool! We're both married!" --Katherine S. (gives Helen a high five)
• "I have a lover...does that count?" --Debra W., 9-16-00

• "Why do you smell like that?" --Helen's mom
• "Smell like what?" --Helen L.
• "Like your friend. Did you hug him?" --Helen's mom, 10-6-00

• "Just use a dictionary." --James H.
• "Nuh-uh...dictionary doesn't show you looove." --Bob C.
• "It does to me." --James H., 10-21-00

• "Don't leave me! Don't leave me!" --David V.
• "Faster! FASTER!!" --Elizabeth S., 11-8-01

• "What am I, your secretary?" --Helen L.
• "I thought you were my friend..." --Brad S.
• "Friends help each other. Friends do not compose e-mails for each other!" --Helen L., 12-13-01 (And the next day he asked me to pose as his wife and call his English professor...)

• "You know how they say 'Never marry anyone prettier than you'?" --Rachelle L.
• "Oh no...now I'll never get married!" --Alex Y., 12-23-01

• "I think I'm going to stick with the red one now!" --Helen L.
• "Yeah, yeah. It's your new best friend." --Susan L.
• "My new best friend! Don't worry, it's only for tonight." --Helen L.
• "That's okay. I don't care if you trade me in for a bowling ball." --Susan L., 12-31-01

• "She started sobbing!" --Eduardo C.
• "So did you comfort her...in the Walden way?" --Robert V., 1-26-02 (The Walden way...when "Sorry" just isn't enough.)

• "What happens when you can't tell the difference between an egg and your date? Either you have a bad definition of an egg, or you haven't been listening to your date." --Dr. Lutz
• "Or you have been listening to your date." --Seth L., 1-29-02

• "I love clothes today." --guy in class
• "Yeah, I love clothes today, too." --Dr. Armstrong, 2-26-02 (while viewing a 17th century drawing of the Golden Age)

• "It's German! I adore German." --Helen L.
• "Lucky you." --Daisy W.
• "Nah, I'm just a freak." --Helen L.
• "That too, I suppose." --Daisy W., 2-28-02

• Just think, Brad, someday, when your wife is having a baby, you--" --Helen L.
• "--won't be surprised." --Susan L., 3-5-02 (because he learned about childbirth in his cultural anthropology class)

• I don't understand that. Do people propose in restaurants?" --Herr Winterstein
• "I did it on a dock." --Christian B.
• "Oooh, he took his girlfriend to a dock..." --Meredith ?
• "What happens if she says no?" --Herr Winterstein
• "Then you push her in." --Edward Z., 4-8-02 (German class is better than television. I swear.)

• "I don't have many friends." --Mr. Blankinship
• Class laughs.
• "Shopkeepers run when they see me coming." --Mr. Blankinship, 5-9-02

• "Okay, what's the title of the first story?" --Stone Teacher
• "'My Good Friend.'" --Katherine S.
• "Correct. Do you have good friends?" --Stone Teacher
• "No." --Andrew C.
• "No." --Katherine S.
• "Well, then you have to think about why. Could it be something about you?" --Stone Teacher
• "People suck." --Andrew C.
• "Nobody likes me." --Katherine S., 5-11-02

• "So, do I have any interesting mail this week?" --Helen L.
• "No." --Susan L.
• "Or male?" --Helen L.
• "Male? Uh...?" --Susan L.
• "Male!" --Helen L.
• "Male!" --Susan L.
• "Male!" --Helen L., 6-18-02

• "I want my children to be over 9 years of age." --Helen L.
• "When they're born?" --Santos G.
• "I don't care what age they're born at, as long as they're 9 by the time I acquire them." --Helen L., 7-14-02

• "This e-mail I just got tells me that if I subscribe to Men's Health, I could become the man I've always wanted to be. I wonder if they know what they're saying." --Helen L.
• "That's great! So are you going to try it? I think you're up to it." --Santos G.
• "I already subscribed. Last year. I'm still not a man. And I think that's a good thing." --Helen L.
• "So do you feel better?" --Santos G.
• "About what?" --Helen L.
• "So do you feel groggy, angry, and shunned by females?" --Santos G.
• "No. Is that what guys feel like?" --Helen L.
• "I dunno." --Santos G., 7-9-02

• Do you think you'll ever be a wife?" --Santos G.
• "Yes. Heh." --Helen L.
• "Oooh. Wife! Are you going to be a widow, too?" --Santos G.
• "I hope not." --Helen L.
• "Because of mysterious circumstances, and a hair dryer." --Santos G.
• "I don't think so." --Helen L.
• "So you want your spouse to outlive you?" --Santos G.
• "I guess. I'll marry someone durable." --Helen L., 7-14-02 (Is he threatening my future husband...?)

• "Hmm...I think you might need another bag." --Helen L.
• "No, it's okay. I've got a husband." --lady
• "That's not very nice." --lady's husband
• "Actually, I do need another bag." --lady, 8-31-02

• "Oh, Helen, you're so nice and friendly!!" --Santos G.
• "Um..." --Helen L.
• "You're like the sister that someone else had!" --Santos G., 12-3-02

• "Oh! Look, a "Cows" calendar!" --Girl 1
• "Like Cows on Parade?" --Girl 2
• "Wow!!" --Girl 1
• "Ohhh, it's so sexy!" --Girl 3, 12-13-02

• "Do you guys see how cool this formula is?! This top part tells you how much X and Y vary together, and then it's divided by how much they vary separately! It measures exactly what it's supposed to measure!" --Dr. Scovill
• "It's so romantic!" --girl behind me
• "Now you've got to wonder what kind of man Pearson was, to be sitting around, trying to figure this out." --Dr. Scovill
• "He's such a romantic!" --girl behind me, 2-20-03

• "Because it hates you with a PASSION!" --Jared C.
• "Just like passion fruit." --Adam R.
• "What the hell are you talking about?" --Jared C.
• "I dunno. It rhymes with passion." --Adam R., 3-20-03

• "He called you a she!" --Helen L.
• "No, I didn't!" --Tim P.
• "I'm not a she." --Jeff K.
• "Yeah, I know." --Helen L.
• "Well, except on Wednesdays." --Jeff K., 4-5-03

• "But it's too much trouble getting a Muslim person and a bunch of old people...not to mention dead roses...'twas not meant to be..." --Tikku S.
• "Aww." --Helen L.
• "Few girls are worth the trouble of finding a Muslim, rounding up some old folks, and scrounging up some dead roses." --Tikku S.
• "If you could get live roses, I'm sure you could kill them yourself. And as you presented them to her, you could tell her that you killed them all by yourself. It means more that way." --Helen L.
• "Bah! Time is money, woman, and that requires time!" --Tikku S., 4-18-03

• "Did you find everything all right?" --Helen L.
• "No." --middle-aged man
• "No? Oh, no. What were you looking for?" --Helen L.
• "A girlfriend." --middle-aged man
• "Oh, but we don't sell that here!" --Helen L.
• "Well, you should." --middle-aged man, 5-18-03 (we're a bookstore, not a catalog for mail-order brides!)

• "Look at the design I made! Isn't it pretty?" --Helen L.
• "Yes, it looks like a...sperm." --Susan L.
• "Oh, thanks. I can't eat this now." --Helen L., 5-22-03 (discussing the mustard design on my hot dog)

• "It's terrible of me to want to read the book, but I really am curious about the love interest and the dying." --Helen L.
• "I do want to read the series, but there are also 100 other books I want to get to." --Jeremiah H.
• "Yes, that's always the most enticing plot formula for me. Love interests and dying." --Helen L.
• "What about...DYING LOVE INTERESTS??" --Jeremiah H.
• "Well, a certain ratio of dying and love interest would have to be negotiated before I could be interested." --Helen L.
• "Ah." --Jeremiah H.
• "If the love interest were more dying than love interest, that would be pretty intriguing to me. I guess that brings up whole issues with necrophilia, though." --Helen L.
• "All the better!" --Jeremiah H.
• "Harry Potter and the Corpse of Appeal!" --Helen L., 6-21-03 (discussing the fifth Harry Potter book)

• "Here's Mommy!" --Susan L. (placing a photo of our mother on the chair)
• "Aww!" --Helen L.
• "Oh, that's great. Very pretty. So who is this?" --Helen's dad, 7-18-03

• "But that's why I logged off Trillian." --Jim P.
• "Oh. I didn't realize you were on it." --Helen L.
• "You make me feel special. Just kidding." --Jim P.
• "Awww, I don't make Jim feel special." --Helen L.
• "I was being sarcastic for the first part and desarcasing the second." --Jim P.
• "So do I make you feel special?" --Helen L.
• "Yes, as shown by my previous comments." --Jim P.
• "You are a confusing boy." --Helen L., 9-24-03

• "JD hates me. He's one of the other two physics majors. We're doing homework together." --Jim P.
• "Why does he hate you? Are you smarter and better-looking?" --Helen L.
• "Yes, both." --Jim P., 10-1-03

• "Ow! Quit it! You were biting my head!" --Rachel R.
• "That's what you get for chafing me right there." --Clint S.
• "I wasn't chafing you; I was loving you!" --Rachel R., 10-29-03

• "Hello?" --Helen L.
• "Ming Yeng?" --man on phone
• "Hi, Daddy! I'm not Mommy!" --Helen L.
• "What?" --man on phone
• "Oh. You're not my father..." --Helen L., 11-22-03

• "Stupid PS2, my hard finals are over; it should start working." --Brad S.
• "Eh, it probably feels like you don't deserve it or something." --Helen L.
• "That bitch." --Brad S.
• "Your PS2 is female?" --Helen L.
• "Probably...the games I don't want to play work. Figures." --Brad S.
• "Yep, sounds like a female." --Helen L., 12-13-03

• "I will be able to show everyone that I'm not growing soft in my old age." --Helen L.
• "Heh heh. Aren't you all happy over a boy and a dinosaur bank? Why are you dissing love? I mean, some girls just want a boy, but you have a boy AND a dinosaur bank!" --Jeremiah H., 1-16-04