there's a guitar strumming along
and it brings a smile to my face.
one of those smiles i haven't
seen in awhile...the kind that are real.
a woman singing...i'm thinking it's
sarah mclachlan or someone.
actually, i know it's not,
but it's beautiful either way.
she's beautiful. i can tell.
i imagine myself on stage with her...
the wind blowing against
my hot sweaty skin,
but i don't care, because
i'm doing what i love.
singing.
to a crowd.
i get to show off.
and they applaud.
a lot.
i sing backup and harmonize.
"i don't go to therapy
to find out if i'm a freak."
that makes me laugh.
a real laugh.
something i haven't had in a while.
i can't believe this is all real.
it's amazing.
it's days like these
that i can't imagine i was ever sad.
days that make me think i can do it all.
and have done it all.
days where i am beautiful.
days i go outside and pick up a chair
and sit down softly so that i don't
automatically sink into the damp sod beneath
and tell myself stories that nobody hears.
stories about how wonderful i am.
how wonderful this world is.
how the world is so beautiful...
even though it's raining and cloudy.
beautiful trees so shiny and green.
wonderful little birds joining me
as i begin to hum. a happy song.
and tap my foot on the ground.
with a real smile on my face.
to the sound of a beautiful woman
singing a song i don't know
but i love just the same.
-- Jace Vela
© 1999
PLEASE
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