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"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."-Batman Costume warning label

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..." -Dan Quayle

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." -Dan Quayle

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -Dan Quayle

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." -Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation." -Dan Quayle, US VP

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." -Bill Peterson, football coach

"We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover." -Parish Magazine

"Please provide the date of your death." -from an IRS letter